Chameleon

Chameleon Sep 2018

I'm becoming okay with not knowing what to do or how I feel.
I'm single at 23 with no kids so what else have I got to do except see what happens.
That's exciting but also frustrating for someone like me who likes to have a plan.
My life now is nothing like I thought it would be a year ago, so how can I think I have any control over the future.
I think this will be one of the toughest years of my life because it's one big transition after another.
I'm trying to learn as much as I can while not letting my heart make too many of the decisions.
I truly have no idea what my life will be even in a few months but I'm getting used to the unpredictable.

Chameleon Sep 2018

Summer is almost over

Im dreaming of colder weather,
and I'm ready for it to get dark early.
To grab a coat on the way out the door to pull over a sweater.
October will be here soon and the leaves will fall and crunch under my feet; the spooky season.
I can't wait to see my nephew turn 3 years old in November and then celebrate Thanksgiving and Christmas with my family.
I love when the seasons change, it always feels like a new beginning.

Chameleon Sep 2018

Simple

I've been enjoying how simple my life has become.
Waking up around noon to my room filled with light,
taking Sophie outside to go ***,
and feeling my sweat instantly begin to dry when we step back inside my cool apartment.
Today I went to the Post Office to change my address and it felt oddly great to check something off my to do list.
I got some food and went home to watch Tv and take an hour long nap on my new couch.
I slowly got ready for work and took a short cruise before pulling into the parking lot to write this.

Chameleon Sep 2018

Hot air balloon

I hooked Sophie up to her red leash and we quickly descended the short staircase and out the door.
Up in the sky to the left was a hot air balloon.
The classic rainbow canvas.
As Sophie pulled me from grassy spot to grassy spot I kept my eye on the balloon and noticed it was going to land.
Because I'm a millennial I pulled out my phone and took a picture.
I watched it float steadily in front of the setting sun, cotton candy clouds behind it.
Must be nice to have a bird's eye view on a hot summer evening.

Chameleon Sep 2018

Addicted

I think I get addicted to things easily.
So it's very good I've never done any drugs.

My addiction is people.

When I find someone who makes me feel a certain way that I can't really describe except for manicly high highs and depressingly low lows,
I can get obsessed with that feeling.
I don't know how to stop except to go cold turkey.
I can hate them so much when I'm alone and then as soon as I see their name pop up in a text or talk to them out in public I am hooked again.

Chameleon Sep 2018

Moving day

I'm laying in bed with nothing on the Tv screen except the Hulu menu, just listening to the sound of my air conditioner and the crickets outside.
I am nervous and sad that I am moving in 9 hours and I'm doing it alone.
I wish he was there for me at times like this but I didn't expect that he would be.
I can't believe this is my last night sleeping in this apartment.
I am definitely scared of change and I have been comfortable here.
But this lifestyle of eating fast food and living with too much stuff in a messy apartment hasn't been fun, yet I feel like it's a reflection of my life.
A mess that needs to be cleaned up.
It's going to be a long, hot, stressful day.
I don't know if I will be able to sleep because today is finally the day.

Chameleon Aug 2018

Cool girl

Being the cool girl is the same as being the nice guy.
It gets you nowhere.

There's a reason cool girls always show up somewhere alone.
Cool girls are mystifying and exciting to look at and talk to,
but guys really want the practical girl.
The one who has a vibrant social life, loves everything, and never ventures to find music outside of the radio.
The ones who are... unartistic.
If a guy ever says,
"You are the coolest chick he's ever met."
Just know that you have been exiled to the friend zone,
or at least the hook up zone.