Funny that a quote that
describes us perfectly
was written on his status.
The only breaking up
we do is.
is when we're breaking up
*the ****.

I have realized that in a way
writing so much on here
about all of my sadness and
anger and longing has not
been good for me.
It's unhealthy.
Letting myself wallow
in pity and keeping quiet
about my feelings.
It triggers me to pull my hair
because of my anxieties,
just being there to read and re-read.
I want to be happy and healthy
and be okay with the life
I have.
I was afraid to write positively
because I fear that you readers
don't like that as much as
when I write about the crap in life.
But I'd appreciate the support.
We're all on the
pursuit of happiness,
just, sometimes it takes
awhile to get there.

I loved you because
you are that little boy
in the picture frame
on the wall in your living room.
You are the only one
who didn't turn your back
on me when I needed someone most.
You are the guy
that just wants to take care
of his dad and doesn't
even think about his needs.
You are fearless and honest.
I loved you because you
were everything that everyone
thought you weren't.
I loved you because I
knew *you.

He said he missed me
too..
He missed me.
That's all I ever needed
to hear.

It feels good to know
that you were suffering
through the same pain,
as I was
at one point in time.
To know what you were
really thinking,
instead of the rumors
and whispers I pick up
on the street.
I'm peeling back the
layers of unspoken thoughts
that have built up over time,
in hopes that one night
I can go to sleep without
any regrets.

Heavy eyes,
dizzy head.
Inhale.
Exhale.
Repeat.
Kinda like you.
It seems like we've been
here before.
But I wonder for how long.
After the last time things
went wrong,
I was sure that was it.
And now I feel desperate
to keep you.
Like these last two buds
I have in my bag.
I will smoke it nice
and slow.