It has been a while
Since that time.
You know.
That night.
My first date
And that carnival ride.
Yeah,
I'm terrified.
Tell me how you managed it,
How you remember it.
Because young sir,
I highly doubt it is the same as I.
Or do you wake up screaming too?
Because I do.
Never forgetting
Always blaming myself
For something I had no control over.
Did you enjoy my innocence?
Because I wish I could have it back.
That you hadn't done what you had
That I didn't have to see your heart of black.
It still hurts down there.
That place.
You were inside of me before I could say a single thing.
Before I could even say "No"
You make me sick.
So sick that I wanna bleed.
But everyone knows now
And trying to keep me sane.
I had told you that I was saving myself
But all you could say,
"Please Baby, Please!
I love you so much!
Just give me this much!"
Didn't know what to do,
I just freeze.
What am I suppose to say
What do I do now?
Do I talk to my mother and father
Face that judgement
Or do I block it all away with a smile
What do I do
What do I do
What do I do now?!
What the hell am I suppose to do now?!
You hurt me!
You broke me!
I'll never forget!
Pray to a God I no longer trust?!
You both were suppose to protect me and look at me NOW!
I'm fucking bleeding from my wrists!
I have no remorse.
I can't fucking sleep no more
Can't even hug my father.
What am I gonna do now...?!