#notrust
DEAR PENPAL PEOPLE, sometimes realization hits hard, like a suffocating breath:\
They broke her bones and scratched her pride
They whipped her skin and shattered her spirit
They locked her soul in her body
They stole her truth
and swept her dreams
and split her heart into a million piece
They deprived her of hope and kept her thirsty for a breath
------ravenfeels
Apr 2, 2021
Apr 2, 2021 at 4:55 PM UTC
A girl who is lonesome on a regular basis, isn't based upon their own choice... But by their own desire to hold an identity bear without regulating (properly) the reasons as to why or how too essentially fix them?? Someone would say they aren't both comfortable and doesn't want to live this type of life... Except, they do, and they are very good at it. Do you not seriously think they aren't truly comfortable with it...?! Because by how I've gotten to know them, they seem entirely thrilled by this very aspect upon the features that drown them in sorrowful lust or delusional ecstasy for the illusional better!
Don't make me laugh.... You seriously think she "would" be comfortable with ANY of this...? WELLL.... DO YOU???!!! NO...! She simply... DOESN'T! And I wouldn't, either. Because I know what it's like to live in something that has tormented me right down to my very component cells. (Not truly knowing how to regulate the emotions that run those very component cells...DRY!) Something that ricochets the exposure over an entire even playing field that's become too GREATLY ODD! For something that doesn't make sense, doesn't also have too be the permanent source of lifestyle one has become standard upon (the now very normalized lifecycle of this very way of life itself).
So, what happens when someone who is lonesome and who's seemingly lost...while also supposedly meant too be good at it, simultaneously...? Well...isn't it obvious by now...?
"A lonesome girl who's good at being alone".....
Sep 24, 2020
Sep 24, 2020 at 9:56 PM UTC
Buddies since birth.
Supposed to be the star of the north.
My playmate, my entertainer, my protector.
Like a human lie detector.
The same one face.
The other hard to trace.
Your evil on the rise.
Visible through your nasty eyes.
Your hands all over me.
Push and pull me in like a sea.
Cutting deep into my soul.
Gave me another set of secrets to hold.
All that you should have been was an illusion.
I regret calling you my cousin.
Jul 20, 2020
Jul 20, 2020 at 2:21 AM UTC
I was flying high
But then I came crashing down
I don't know why
You couldn't save me now
You were there before
I didn't have to call out for you
But you're not here anymore
So I had to use my parachute
Apr 28, 2019
Apr 28, 2019 at 5:45 AM UTC
Someone once stabbed me in the back.
Then,
They asked me why I was bleeding.
Jan 1, 2019
Jan 1, 2019 at 9:05 PM UTC
It has been a while
Since that time.
You know.
That night.
My first date
And that carnival ride.
Yeah,
I'm terrified.
Tell me how you managed it,
How you remember it.
Because young sir,
I highly doubt it is the same as I.
Or do you wake up screaming too?
Because I do.
Never forgetting
Always blaming myself
For something I had no control over.
Did you enjoy my innocence?
Because I wish I could have it back.
That you hadn't done what you had
That I didn't have to see your heart of black.
It still hurts down there.
That place.
You were inside of me before I could say a single thing.
Before I could even say "No"
You make me sick.
So sick that I wanna bleed.
But everyone knows now
And trying to keep me sane.
I had told you that I was saving myself
But all you could say,
"Please Baby, Please!
I love you so much!
Just give me this much!"
Didn't know what to do,
I just freeze.
What am I suppose to say
What do I do now?
Do I talk to my mother and father
Face that judgement
Or do I block it all away with a smile
What do I do
What do I do
What do I do now?!
What the hell am I suppose to do now?!
You hurt me!
You broke me!
I'll never forget!
Pray to a God I no longer trust?!
You both were suppose to protect me and look at me NOW!
I'm ******* bleeding from my wrists!
I have no remorse.
I can't ******* sleep no more
Can't even hug my father.
What am I gonna do now...?!
Nov 10, 2018
Nov 10, 2018 at 11:34 PM UTC
you talk about trust,
and then betray it.
you talk about love,
and then destroy it.
you talk about friendship,
and never give it a chance.
and
every time
im the one crying
on my bedroom floor.
no one to hold,
no one to see me.
Mar 22, 2018
Mar 22, 2018 at 5:14 PM UTC
A fawn - limbs uncertain
Innocence of mind
A mind so trusting
A mind so pure
A mind so naive
Would it endure?
Danger lurks, creeps under
Fawn senses it
And returns on its own
Into safety.
So naive, so naive
With fear it has been borne
Yet it trusts it's own
When the armor falls
The swords strike
The one you thought
would protect you
Is the one
You seek protection from.
✒
Jul 21, 2018
Jul 21, 2018 at 8:42 PM UTC
we stand there,
in the night,
underneath the street light.
the sky is soo dark,
small dots of light shine a little,
your arms are around my waist.
i look up at you,
a smile across my face,
your eyes bluer than ever.
you're laughing,
at something someone said,
i whispered i love you to you.
but it doesn't matter now,
none of it does,
it's all gone.
we were frozen in time,
we stand still,
happy and in-love.
in the photograph,
i thought there was love,
but all there is are lies.
Apr 14, 2016
Apr 14, 2016 at 9:00 PM UTC
why do you bring on soldier
Who wants to be your beholder
Then tell them to give up on you?
Because
You want to hear reality
You know not everyone
Will break your heart...
So be smart
So later on in life you wont have to regret
Someone you could've had
Apr 8, 2015
Apr 8, 2015 at 1:29 AM UTC
I whisper-walk behind the wall
Drown myself in bleak mans falls
I left Home to make my life better
I only got an Emotional Winter
Gray clouds above me
Run away with the snow
My heart is dried out and no tears left to cry
I would die if you left me alone to fall
But you won't leave me alone at all
A kindred spirit, a kind soul
That's what I thought before
Now I'm not so sure. . .
Dec 11, 2014
Dec 11, 2014 at 7:54 PM UTC