forces self to think about **** no one wants to think about hates life for it

im so sick of feeling like this i just want to be happy

prays to god 10 years old
playstation/basketball hoop/girlfriend/so upset
prays to god at 10 years old
**** me now give me cancer
i cant handle this she moves to texas
******* prays to god 16 years later
this ***** killed me, ruined my life ******* **** me
nothing
doesn't pray anymore

im scared to read your emails because it could be the last thing you say to me before you sleep

come to show u what dead really means

one heart in my life
one love in my heart

went to my parents, got some money got gas, cleaned your car car wash and ciggarettes i dont have any left, love you sorry about all this mess

i will take u in ur car to wherever u want to go and walk back home so u can sleep

too tired to make love"  warning sign for the rest of your life

learning to feel
******* dumb

some people are just not right for each other and some people are made to exist together

i never do anything good for you

do what you have to do now once this ends nothing is stopping me

read this ******* garbage

i know what this could be like half of it is better than my wholelife

cant handle distance

some things need time to be alive

im trying to work to get these things even tho i feel like u think im wasting time
i have the time to do it
too many big things happening at once cant handle all of them
but it will happen

more beautiful than anything alive

role models: Judas

i guess what im saying is that i would take your place

if u leave without speaking to me
when u come back
the doors will be locked
leave your key and leave

i want to do every drug in the world at the same time

in your heart or in your head never both

why does everybody want to put a label on **** *******
let **** be what it is

**** haters **** what other people doing do your own thing

god i love my cats i would die for them

showing your emotions openly and living with it after is way harder than pretending that you have none and trying to rationalize that feeling sadness depression anxiety and need is just irrational and childish just makes u fake not strong

letting **** build up again bcuz i dont have the strength or the time to deal with it

u want this to be what it is or u want it to be what u want it to be

love is the enemy of pride

loss of interest is the same as love to you

i dont trust you

everyone responds with silence

no one knows the reason for what imsaying including myself except for u
and it means nothing to u

im really trying and i feel like whenever u get mad u dont see that or forget about it

i love you i really do

just because you are incapable of understanding what this is, doesnt mean it doesnt exist

nothing feels like anything

a beer can that keeps refilling + a cigarette that never stops burning

this is what its like
to be dead when you are alive

making a new reality

everything i write and wrote is ufcking **** and i hate it
i hate it i hate this i hate it

poetry class/s ******* dumb
writing school ******* dumb

tired of fragmented presences exist or go the **** away

ive mastered the art of smiling, nodding and responding appropriately when i couldn’t give less of a ****

what would the internet do if no one was on it

ur turning me into something i hate again

i feel so overwhelmed by all the sadness i surrounded myself with everyday for so long it hurts me that all these people are hurting and idk how to help

you are all ******* gods