sick of being alone all the time

care too much u are needy
care too little you are an *******
there is no in between

when life catches up to you

cant change or explain the past
it’s there for a reason

what is sleep
turn it into purple sleep

thankful for this girl that i never deserved and never will

life is robot + always waiting

rescue me with yoursmile

its been real
ready to die

thankful for everyone here that has tried to help me even though you dont know u helped me

this couldnt last forever
and now i have an ending

everything makes sense to me

feel like im coming out of a coma

im going to try to be that person that she needs someday it isnt today and hasnt been that day for over a year

one other thing **** old people
who act like they world stops for them
and it is okay to be an ******* bcuz u old

idgaf  if u are 90 20 65 48

an old man with a cane

old lady with a red hat

my grandparents idgaf

u dont deserve respect for living  lets get that **** ******* straight


if u a racist
if u an *******
if u are iggnorant

age doesnt excuse u from being human

burn in hell

it kills u inside because u know that im right and u know that im not the only one u sleep with at night and u know that it slips in your dreams folds them up at the sides and u could never remove those faces from the inside of your mind

be a good person
be a happy person
y cant they coexist

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u know why i misspell **** because the english language is ******* stupid and makes no sense and ur kidding yourself if u think grammar and punctuation add creative value to ******* anything

mental illness or mental awareness

honestly i wanted more than anything for everyone to love my writing
i started 2 years ago and it was all that mattered to me

now
every1 wants some **** from me
i dont give a **** what u think
or how u perceive this

i just honestly feel like ******* ****
and i wish i never wrote anything
for the rest of the sick people to find it
i always need to be the best
and if i am not to myself
then it is not enough
honestly i couldnt give less of a ****
what any1 thinks about this

faked xray reports/forged retinal scans/phony lab tests/secretly amputated limbs

watch doctors prescribe more pills more pills that counteract those pills that side effect these pills that makes u take those pills until your blood is made of pills and your **** is made of pills what is the ******* point of living
i would rather feel like **** everyday for the rest of eternity than take  pills that shut off my feelings, i cant believe doctors and humans can get away with this ****, **** those ******* remember that adderal is an amphetamine that is constantly abused and given to ******* children when their ****** *** parents don’t want to deal with a child acting like a child
people dont want to take responsiblity for themselves at all anymore

they just want a pill to shut off any difficult feelings or emotions

so they can be the robot sheep they were raised to be

this world is so ****** up ***

hi doctor
sad

adds prozac

subtracts head

adds breath

subtracts sad

adds confusion

reduces mad

evens feelings

destroys human mask

hi doctor

eats sad

fills pockets with other patients money

asks for yours in advance

pharmaceutical companies want your money and your life
pharmaceutical companies want your money and your life

every1 deserves better than this
except for myself when i know i am the cause of all this

maybe we should encourage peoples differences instead of trying to hide them with pills

my college english teacher tol me i dont understand creative non fiction i should choose something else to work towards
so what is all this *****

bipolar depression manic depression multiple personality disorder delusions hearing songsthat arnt playing hearing voices that arnt speaking hallucinations nightmares stupor absent mindedness impotence insomnia anxiety what did people do when medicine wasnt here
**** yourself
cut off your ear
drugs
mor drugs
alcohol
graffiti
head in the oven
2 shots in the chest
poison
break ****
destroy ****
ruin things
ruin everything

what do you really feel like
what do you want people to think you feel like
are they the same

everyone deserves so much more than this

talks about hurtful thingsin relationship
hurtful things blamed on sender
guilt
shame
anger
sadness
nothing
over and over

im sorry i ever made this

there is always 1 other human that relates

i dont give a **** about any1 taking any of this
because they know where it came from
and that they didnt write it

jealousy is all consuming

nothing feels low like this

almost every1 will *******
almost never means they love you

nobody knows what your going thru so don’t expect anyone to understand

to hate urself alive

house on fire
life on fire

ditches of witchfangs
wrap garbage in gold
sad when they dont live here
not anymore

you come around for a while
before u sleep and smile
knowing its only when youarer dreaming
and i hate being alive

gonna ruin your life

dony believe me

ask your significatn other if they want to read your facebook messages tomorrow

sweating

fake ******* fake internet **** **** ****

give them your password

dont get theres

that would be wrong

if your reading this its about yourself

so take your **** and run

aas far as u can go

where there is nothing electric

and it isntcold/doesnt snow

not good enough

lazy

lets people walk all over you

cry baby

half human

need help

embarrassing

ugly

vapid

afraid

alone

ugly

violent

ha­teful

indignant

spiteful

miserable

ugly cold

stupid

accident

jealousy is all consuming

i have never been enough
and u remind me
every time you close your mouth

i dont trust in ****
i dont believe in ****

turn it into purple sleep

dont hope just be