Tonight
Cold and warm all at once tonight it's easy.
Moments like staring at stars or singing or yelling at the top of our lungs.
You make it feel so easy.
Tonight
I could say it.
I could say those words make my heart jump out of my chest and into your arms.
I could say that word that causes everything to feel infinite.
Tonight
I could change this. I could shift everything we've become.
But I won't say it...
at least not
Tonight

Empty spaces are the bane of my existence.
I watch through a glass screen fixated with LED lights and wiring so I can see her face when she's 15 minutes away but 10 if she's driving.
I leave a space in my bed and sit with my hand pressed against my temple and my arm draped over me and holding my side.
I leave an empty space where her body would fit perfectly.
where her arms would wrap around me where her shoulder would replace my hand and comfort my temple but instead I watch her unknowingly leave a space for me.

her arm played over empty spaces and her hand resting on a pillow where my head should be instead its nothing but empty spaces.

I'm sitting on the floor of a friend of a friends house
I been here for some time and had some time to rewind when suddenly the friend of a friend said something I didn't like.
"It's more than her period making her a *****"
Intoxicated me wanted to laugh
sober me wanted to scoff
Wow, a period joke as if my menstrual cycle is something to be laughed at
As if the blood flowing out of me don't make me the definition of a wonder woman.
Yet instead its a joke, instead its your answer for when I question your misogynistic values.
"Get a sense of humor" they yell when its more than my period making me a *****
making me the female dog
Well this ***** does a lot more then bark
I bite
MY body is not your joke
MY womanhood is not your bag of wisecracks
PERIOD.

Focus
she reads
her crazy showing more than usual
"I'll **** him"
she says
her jersey accent strong like my morning coffee
"I'm joking"
she laughs
her presence making it hard for me to
Focus
her voice makes my mind think of lazy Sundays
blankets above us like canopy's
awnings that hold nothing but past memories
a glance in a tenth grade math class
suddenly fourteen year old me couldn't
Focus
no she was not perfect
her mind a bit to wild
her eyes a sliver to beautiful
her laugh a tad to intoxicating
her voice a pinch to sweet
her a bit to
Focus
I fell in love  with the
artistic, the crazy,
the jersey girl who with her extensive collection of art supplies
sketched
drew
and painted my world.
every color a pastel oil
every shape a charcoal sketch
everything she touched
vibrant like neon signs and now that shes gone i cant
Focus

This is is an ode to my past partners
To those I let climb inside my body
To the women I loved
Your hands roamed my body and skin
Your lips like those of a voyagers
with every whisper and caress was a new world
On every new island was a new feeling
a new sensation
a new part of me I had yet to know
To the  men I loved
You plucked my rose from the earth
you turned me into a beautiful bouquet of flowers
and with every flower was a new thought
a new emotion
a new reality
To those I loved
I did not love you for no reason
I did not waste my time in the classrooms you called relationships
because in each of these was a new lover
a new me
a new heartbreak
yet because of you I became stronger and greater than before.
To those I have yet to know
I will not always be happy
I will not always have the answer
but I will always have my humor
To those I have yet to love
you are not ready for the new things we will endure
but I promise it will all be worth it
worth it to find the new
smiles
the new friendships
the new eachother

A single kiss
A single kiss can send my mind into a world of bliss
A world of bliss
A world of bliss that is wrapped around your body
Around your body
Around your body so much so that my limbs become tangled in yours
Tangled in yours
Tangled in yours so my arms drape over your chest and yours wrapped around me the best way you know how.
How
How can a single kiss leave me full of static
Static
Static like light flicking off attic walls leaving me full of loneliness
Full of loneliness
Full of loneliness and longing for the closeness we had only moments before  
Moments before
Moments before that left my heart racing  and my senses tingling
Tingling
Tingling as if to say please show me more
More
More of the beautiful world you call your mind.
Your Mind
Your mind that twists and turns like roots that lead to the tallest tree
The tallest tree
The tallest tree that if I ask to climb it and you agree I would then ask could you meet me
Meet me
Meet me at the top of your tree
with a single kiss.