in a room,
brimming
with people,
I am alone —

sitting at an
empty table,

sometimes, I wish
someone would fill
the seat across from me,
and by sometimes, I mean
that I come here every single day
hoping with all of my heart that it will happen.

but I'm a bride and groom
in black and white. —
I'm an empty beige room with
a spider in the corner. —
I'm a glance with
a deadpan nod. —
I'm a dance where
you shift your weight
without moving your hips...

—

dribdrab fantasy,
peripheral face

I continue to lay in bed
Regardless of the lack of sleep it brings me
Hoping that someday my body will feel comforted enough to fall into a slumber
As if the bags under my eyes
And the stiffness of my muscles
Weren't enough to let my body know it's time to rest
If only my mind would stop running
Then maybe I could feel tranquil
But the anxiety I experience is sharp
And my thoughts cannot feel peace

i'm in that state again
where i'm not sure
if i'm stable enough
to seem "normal"

i think about disappearing
for a while
or maybe forever

every little thing tends to irk me
i'm sorry if i take
my anger out on you
when you don't deserve it

it just seems to me at this time
i can do without life
and life do can without me

see i was extremely happy
about two days ago
but my sadness did not like that
so it decided to take back over