I remember every right word and the scars they left.
I remember every bottle that broke on the floor.
I remember how I swore I tried my best.
I remember how you swore I could do more.
I remember how we knew our time was coming.
I remember how our watches would snap at the band.
I remember how the sea gave way to our ship,
But I couldn't bare to leave the sand...

I do believe that believers exist,
but I fear that I'm the last one left.
I took a shot in the dark, I missed.
I hit my heart again instead.

I do not think I'm winning,
I just don't want to be confused.
I carry the weight of the world on my shoulders
as my bones break and skin starts to bruise.

I know no one can live forever,
but I wish that I could pick and choose.
I swear I'd be the first in line.
I swear you'd be position number two.

I walk a fine line of words I write.
I point my fingers and accuse.
You take the ink away from me.
You scream "this ink ain't being used."

I wrote a million letters.
I wrote a sad story or two.
I wrote too many dots of silence,
I wrote too many "I" and "You's."
I drew too many pictures.
I erased so many things straight from the heart.
I told you one too many times,
"I swear we'll never grow apart..."

I remember every right song and the lines they left.
I remember every teardrop that crashed on the floor.
I remember how I swore it was just a guess.
I remember how you swore I'd never learn.
I remember how we knew our smiles were fading.
I remember how our touches would stop at the hand.
I remember that ground that allowed us to walk on
But I couldn't bare to see us land...

your eyes are bright.
it's not because of the
way the sun is shining,
but the storm inside
your head that refuses
to let you stop crying
and i just wish i knew
how to help.

Insane.
I-In an undeniable state of confusing. World spinning. Things Don't add up.
N-Nausea. The pills. The loss of blood. The sleepless nights.
S-Sit. To weak to stand. Never eat enough, that will make me skinny.
A-Abandon. No one left on my side- to crazy to understand, to silent to ask for help.
N-Never, never can I scream for help, my voice is gone for I scream at myself.
E-Everyone turned into no one, I am alone and insane.
Who said Insanity never killed anyone, I feel as though I'm already dead.

i drew a map of my head
to sort out my thoughts
maybe if i could differentiate
the road of happiness
from the road of sadness
i would be more stable

how do you know if our fate
all comes down to a single date
to fall and fail
or to succeed, and prevail

"She's cured!"
Then how come my mind still screams
"You fat disgusting pig"?
And I still cringe every time I hear your name?
How come I still etch red tally marks on the top of my thighs
And, I still keep the pills
In a bottle under my dresser
And they still call my name begging me to take them
all at once with a big swing of whiskey
Why am I still counting every calorie
And drowning my sorrows with the sting of alcohol?
Is this what its like to be cured?

i question everything because

within my mind is the
constant fear of lonely

so i doubt often

like if what you say is
truth or a plea for my sanity

Departed from our earthly lives
At peace in heaven
Days are not the same without you
Daddy dearest
Y**ou are loved and missed