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Aug 26 · 19
In Your Dust is Truth
I see You in colors that do not exist
In gardens and rivers and Time as it is
I see You in Spirit, in thoughts we collide
You lead me to moments that keep me alive

I see You in ways that I never knew how
And You carry the weight of all that is now
I see you in corners, in clouds, in the rain
Reflecting the aura gone out of my pain

I see You aglow in the parts of myself
That I have neglected or thought were unwell
I see You because I know You see me too
And being beside You, I know, is The Truth
in Love: “Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”
‭‭I Corinthians‬ ‭13:4-7‬
if there be a poison within me
then bleed me out dry ‘til there’s not
I want to be pure of intention
I want to let go of the rot

if there be a motive within me
that pierces the hearts of my friends
I want to be broken forever
I want to be onto the mend

if there be a Philistine spirit
that wages its wars in my bones
I want to be shattered completely
I want to be fully alone

if there be a Sun made of Silence
Who welcomes Himself in my veins
I want to completely encounter
the sound of the prodigal’s Praise
“Ибо тленному сему надлежит облечься в нетление, и смертному сему облечься в бессмертие. Когда же тленное сие облечется в нетление и смертное сие облечется в бессмертие, тогда сбудется слово написанное: поглощена смерть победою.”
‭‭Первое послание к Коринфянам‬ ‭15:53-54‬ ‭
May 18 · 48
I need to
I feel like I’m holding my organs
and all of them want to collapse
I need to get back to my Father
Who keeps me completely intact

I feel like I’m losing my brain cells
and all of them stopped making sense
I need to get back to my Father
Who paid all of my recompense

I feel like I need to get closer
and all that I am is without
I need to get back to my Father
Who cancels out all of my doubt
“У тебя же, когда творишь милостыню, пусть левая рука твоя не знает, что делает правая, чтобы милостыня твоя была втайне; и Отец твой, видящий тайное, воздаст тебе явно.”
‭‭От Матфея‬ ‭6:3-4‬ ‭
It’s in the corners of our friendship where I feel most alive
where every single part of me can find no place to hide
and then every time I see you and you give me all your space
I find myself surrounded by a certain kind of Grace

it is with your hand in mine I walk a way I never could
and everything I do and say is just because I should
I have never known another who feels closer than my skin
who leads me out to waters and then teaches me to swim

that I have no closer friend than you has turned into a song
and in its very melody we’ve learned to sing along
I’ve always had a best friend because I have sisters and we are so close to one another’s pulse. but when you meet someone who’s not blood but feels like it, some words come forth.
Apr 20 · 26
Salt and Light
If you’ve set the intention you’re ready to speak
And lean into Light and then let it all leak
It will come from a place of the solace inside
And out of the corners and halls of your mind

If you’re ready to speak let your words be like salt
And cover the places that make all your fault
That will turn into lessons to learn and to teach
That are pillars of light for those out of reach

Let new languages come as you learn how to Love
Move dressed in the mercy from our God above
May wherever you go and wherever you stay
Be places and people who make you okay
poem inspired by Lauren Daigle’s, “Salt & Light”

“You are the salt of the earth; but if the salt loses its flavor, how shall it be seasoned? It is then good for nothing but to be thrown out and trampled underfoot by men.”
‭‭Matthew‬ ‭5:13
Apr 15 · 39
to Who
who are You when I’m me and why do I defend my name
when everything You made me for was opposite this way
who I am when I need You is the woman within me
and what I need to do to know is fall upon my knee

Who You are when I am me has remained the same for Life
and You’re The Only Reason we find Grace where there is strife
You purpose out of ashes so much more than I could do
and whisper in the wind that You Are Truth and You stay True

tomorrows may require me to stencil You in place
and wake up every morning knowing I will seek Your Face
and every other moment matters less and less at all
as long and I can see You I won’t be afraid to fall
“though the earth may try....” 🎶
Apr 6 · 147
where do you go when you are out of your head
when all of the noise draws you far from your bed
when so many people are blocking your view
and all you can say is, “I’m looking for You”

where is your body when you run out of Soul
when is too much and what leads you to let go
and when is The Answer too close to your heart
for you to receive it with all that you are

and when do your worries turn into the norm
to keep you from wanting to’ve ever been born
when is the Sun going to shine the right way
and what will it take to make you be okay?
“да будете сынами Отца вашего Небесного, ибо Он повелевает солнцу Своему восходить над злыми и добрыми и посылает дождь на праведных и неправедных.”
‭‭От Матфея ‭5:45‬
I want to be a resource like I want to be The Truth
I want to point my fingers toward The One Who died for you
I want to start recovering the person that I am
by telling you The Story of the God Who made my hands

I want to disconnect myself from words that are not true
I want to  be okay with all that I am going through
I want to wine and dine my heart because I know I can
But when my heart is broken I’ll return to where I am

I want to  know the reason that I am alive at all
I want to understand the whys and ways of my own fall
I want to share A Word with you that made my life complete
I’m here until I’m not and then I’ll be what all I eat
“Опять сказал им Иисус: Я отхожу, и будете искать Меня, и умрете во грехе вашем. Куда Я иду, туда вы не можете придти.”
‭‭От Иоанна ‭8:21‬
when you look at the beauty in Nature
and embrace all The Truth in its hands  
you will sooner than later take notice
it’s a gut that’s completely intact

Nature moves on the backbone of Seasons
and endures every cycle in Time
Nature lives within all of our ***ies
but a person has also a mind

when you look at the human condition
so degraded and triggered by Time
do you look to your gut and your conscience?
or do voices pollute what’s inside?

Nature teaches the oldest of lessons
and takes all of the praise and the blame
but it leads by example forever
and I wonder if we do the same
“Я о них молю: не о всем мире молю, но о тех, которых Ты дал Мне, потому что они Твои. И все Мое Твое, и Твое Мое; и Я прославился в них.”
‭‭От Иоанна‬ ‭17:9-10‬
Feb 1 · 54
I see you
If I could begin to define you
I’d start with a parallel life
I’d put all my bones in a basket
And watch how you mold them to size

If I could explain what you’re doing
I’d use only words that you spoke
I’d lay them all out into lessons
That you would believe were a joke

If I could impart conversation
I’d use only Words you don’t know
In hopes that inside of you, somewhere
Their Light would implore you to glow
“А Я говорю вам: любите врагов ваших, благословляйте проклинающих вас, благотворите ненавидящим вас и молитесь за обижающих вас и гонящих вас, да будете сынами Отца вашего Небесного, ибо Он повелевает солнцу Своему восходить над злыми и добрыми и посылает дождь на праведных и неправедных.”
‭‭От Матфея‬ ‭5:44-45‬
Jan 6 · 38
What Should I Find?
if you took all the minds of the people
whose lives have been jaded by Time
and you put them in one room, together
I wonder how much you would find

there’d be glories gone trampled by bullies
who couldn’t themselves so they stole
as they walked around high on their mighty
and ravaged of Spirit and soul

   if you took all the minds of the people
   whose lives have been ravaged unkind
   you would learn every Truth that there
   could be
   you would stop and stare with your eyes
“Когда же он шел и приближался к Дамаску, внезапно осиял его свет с неба. Он упал на землю и услышал голос, говорящий ему: Савл, Савл! что ты гонишь Меня? Он сказал: кто Ты, Господи? Господь же сказал: Я Иисус, Которого ты гонишь. Трудно тебе идти против рожна.”
‭‭Деяния 9:3-5
Dec 2020 · 45
Here, Hear!
Olga Valerevna Dec 2020
I constantly walked on the lines that are fine
and hoped that my feet wouldn’t take Yours for mine
I barely considered how wrong I could go  
until I remembered how little I know

I wandered and wondered again and again
one moment I’d be here, the next I would end
“If this is the way I will be my whole life,”
“then help me be ready to hear You tonight.”
“Then they said to him, “Who are you, that we may give an answer to those who sent us? What do you say about yourself?” He said: “I am ‘The voice of one crying in the wilderness: “Make straight the way of the LORD,” ’ as the prophet Isaiah said.””
‭‭John‬ ‭1:22-23
Dec 2020 · 70
you will be
Olga Valerevna Dec 2020
you will not know how much you are until they take it all
when every part that profits them means nothing when it’s gone
you’re not the way they paint you and you’re not what’s being sold
you’re not appraised commodity, you’re not what you’ve been told

you’re not a man’s perdition in the absence of The Truth
you’re not a force to conquer by the sin you made him do
you’ll know how much you are when you’ve acknowledged what you hid
and in the very act of, you will walk away from this
“впрочем спасется через чадородие, если пребудет в вере и любви и в святости с целомудрием.”
‭‭1 Тимофею‬ ‭2:15‬ ‭
Dec 2020 · 49
A Sigh in the Eyes
Olga Valerevna Dec 2020
for those who need to see and feel the physical to breathe
there’s always been an element of, “show me You are here”
the movement of Your Spirit led my spirit to Your Hands
and even though I saw them, it was hard to understand

while both my eyes bore witness to the Miracle You are
my body clung to science and the meaning of the stars
by primitive behavior and by ways You spoke against
I tried to learn the heavens with all hell as my defense

I wandered and I wondered and I wore my body down
I made of my own senses nothing more than passing clouds
I tried to let The Meaning of the reason I am here
convince me You’re a thought that I could make to disappear
“Фома же, один из двенадцати, называемый Близнец, не был тут с ними, когда приходил Иисус. Другие ученики сказали ему: мы видели Господа. Но он сказал им: если не увижу на руках Его ран от гвоздей, и не вложу перста моего в раны от гвоздей, и не вложу руки моей в ребра Его, не поверю.”
‭‭От Иоанна‬ ‭20:24-25‬ ‭
Nov 2020 · 48
A Way to Build
Olga Valerevna Nov 2020
if building You bridges is for me
then I’ll pray for the strength that I lack
I’ll give up my hands and my body
Sow through me, bring the prodigals back

if watching Your Gospel unravel
gives me moments to meet You each day
I’ll put on The Eyes of Your Body
and follow Your Steps the Whole Way
“Придя же в себя, сказал: сколько наемников у отца моего избыточествуют хлебом, а я умираю от голода; встану, пойду к отцу моему и скажу ему: отче! я согрешил против неба и пред тобою и уже недостоин называться сыном твоим; прими меня в число наемников твоих. Встал и пошел к отцу своему. И когда он был еще далеко, увидел его отец его и сжалился; и, побежав, пал ему на шею и целовал его.”
‭‭От Луки‬ ‭15:17-20
Olga Valerevna Nov 2020
if any single way in you leads back to your control
I urge you to be diligent and patient with your Soul
lest any piece of human flesh be present in you still
I leave at your discretion: every motive of your will

are you as free as One Who counted loss of self as gain?
or do you have agendas that are printed in your name?
are you the one who holds the pen and writes a story down?
or do you have it in you to be humbled by The Crown?
“Испытай меня, Боже, и узнай сердце мое; испытай меня и узнай помышления мои; и зри, не на опасном ли я пути, и направь меня на путь вечный.”
‭‭Псалтирь‬ ‭138:23-24
Nov 2020 · 160
to let You
Olga Valerevna Nov 2020
if to die little deaths on the daily
is what beckons My Spirit to Life
then I’ll die until I am no longer
to let You within me come Alive

if to open my heart to my neighbors
is the only Commandment I have
then I’ll open it wider than ever
to let You give me strength that I lack

if to put myself into the darkness
is the calling You’ve placed on my heart
then I’ll sing to the beat You made for me
to come find You when I fall apart
“Я каждый день умираю: свидетельствуюсь в том похвалою вашею, братия, которую я имею во Христе Иисусе, Господе нашем.”
‭‭Первое послание к Коринфянам‬ ‭15:31
Nov 2020 · 70
A Song for Julia
Olga Valerevna Nov 2020
if you follow the veins of your struggles you will bleed into hands that hold Truth
and then everything else will mean nothing
for The Story is written in you

not because you contain all the answers
or because it’s your life that’s worth more
it’s because you have chosen surrender
it’s because you have opened the door

if you follow the veins of your struggles
you will learn what it means to be Saved
and when every lesson has found you
you will sing only Hymns from your grave
“Ибо для меня жизнь — Христос, и смерть — приобретение.”
‭‭Послание к Филиппийцам‬ ‭1:21‬
Oct 2020 · 38
when I feel
Olga Valerevna Oct 2020
I feel like I’m ghosting my patterns
but trading them in as I go
does anyone know how to live in
A Place we all hope to call Home?

I feel like I’ve been an imposter
I know all the ways I went wrong
but I cannot sleep without dreaming
my mind tries to carry it all

I feel like a human behavior
too loud to surrender my noise
I crawl on my knees to be broken
so I can remember Your Voice
it is impossible for me to write anything anymore, that doesn’t directly reference and reflect my Source of Truth; it is Biblical.

“For I determined not to know anything among you except Jesus Christ and Him crucified.” 1 Corinthians 2:2
Sep 2020 · 97
Olga Valerevna Sep 2020
though all my crosses bear a weight, they crumble in The Sun
they disappear completely and I slowly come undone
I wandered through a head of space I can’t believe I had
and actively ignored the every question I once asked

though all my choices bear a mark, they don’t define my Soul
they make a way for me to heal as soon as I let go
I recognized the wickedness my beating heart had seen
and actively pursued The Grace that brought me to my knees
it is Biblical.
Aug 2020 · 55
in your DNA
Olga Valerevna Aug 2020
your, “who I am,” is in your head
your day-to-day, your daily bread
your, “who I want and hope to be”
your, “here I am,” and, “this is me”

your, “who am I,” is in your blood
your cell-to-cell, your day en kah
your, “in my dreams I see what is”
your, “I believe in all of it”

you have a mind to know The Truth
and may it always humble you
you have a heart to feel again
and may it always give you strength
Aug 2020 · 74
to see You
Olga Valerevna Aug 2020
have you ever read poets you thought you could trust
while they made of your body a temple of lust
if they portioned your pain into doses of words
they could smother your Spirit and feed you to birds

have you ever been rested enough to decide
you would rather be dead to your flesh than your mind
if you took up the weight of your struggle and fear
you could live in a body that serves as a Mirror
“Ко всем же сказал: если кто хочет идти за Мною, отвергнись себя, и возьми крест свой, и следуй за Мною. Ибо кто хочет душу свою сберечь, тот потеряет ее; а кто потеряет душу свою ради Меня, тот сбережет ее. Ибо что пользы человеку приобрести весь мир, а себя самого погубить или повредить себе?” От Луки ‭9:23-25‬ ‭
Jul 2020 · 72
I have been
Olga Valerevna Jul 2020
I’ve been scraping my knees for a lifetime
just to learn they will always resist
and if I am alive it’s because of
all The Grace that I have to exist

I’ve been clenching my fists for no reason
just to learn that my knuckles need Truth
and if I don’t betray them to nothing
then my life will be honored by You

I’ve been voicing my thoughts for an answer
just to learn that my heart knows Your Name
and if I can be still in Your Presence
then I know You will show me The Way
“Остановитесь и познайте, что Я — Бог: буду превознесен в народах, превознесен на земле. Господь сил с нами, заступник наш Бог Иакова. Слава:”
‭‭Псалтирь‬ ‭45:11-12‬ ‭
Olga Valerevna Jul 2020
if I tell you that I regret nothing
then My Conscience has entered the room
He has already taken my choices
and remade with them all I can do

if I tell you that I am not perfect
then My Conscience is saving my life
He has already bled for my body
and today He sowed Peace in my mind

if I tell you that I will not judge you
then My Conscience is reaping the sow
He has already answered my question
“Who are You that You know how to know?”
“Кто думает, что он знает что-нибудь, тот ничего еще не знает так, как должно знать. Но кто любит Бога, тому дано знание от Него.”
‭‭Первое послание к Коринфянам‬ ‭8:2-3‬ ‭
Jul 2020 · 82
Momma, I’m here
Olga Valerevna Jul 2020
I started to ponder the person I was
and went to seek Life to stop seeking out blood
I turned to my mother, who gave me her shoes
so I could walk freely with her in The Truth

we stepped into soil of different kinds  
and learned to be humbled by moments in Time
I turned to my mother, who gave me her hand
so I could be strengthened again and again

I started to move like The Grace in her heart
and put away fear as I fell in her arms    
I turned to my mother and she turned to me
so I could say, “Momma, your Faith led me here.”
“И, взяв девицу за руку, говорит ей: «талифа́ куми́», что значит: девица, тебе говорю, встань. И девица тотчас встала и начала ходить, ибо была лет двенадцати. Видевшие пришли в великое изумление.”
‭‭От Марка 5:41-42‬ ‭
Jul 2020 · 61
by the time
Olga Valerevna Jul 2020
a thief believes everyone steals, he once thought
but into his pockets he wept
“I’ve taken and sold for a penny to have,”
“and nothing but nothing is left.”

a thief believes everyone hides, he once heard
so out of the shadows he crawled
The Light would reveal every Promise He Kept
the thief was exposed by them all

a thief can exist when there’s something to take
but not when there’s something to give
so Grace can’t be measured or bought for a dime
or sold for a second to live
“Вор приходит только для того, чтобы украсть, убить и погубить. Я пришел для того, чтобы имели жизнь и имели с избытком.”
‭‭От Иоанна 10:10‬
Jun 2020 · 79
Sun Rise, don’t set
Olga Valerevna Jun 2020
The Sun can Rise a thousand times for everyone to see
but dies a single death for one who asks, “can I be free?”
A hundred million answers turn to dust rebuilt by Grace
and Time becomes a Closer Friend than anyone you face
“Ибо, как непослушанием одного человека сделались многие грешными, так и послушанием одного сделаются праведными многие. Закон же пришел после, и таким образом умножилось преступление. А когда умножился грех, стала преизобиловать благодать, дабы, как грех царствовал к смерти, так и благодать воцарилась через праведность к жизни вечной Иисусом Христом, Господом нашим.”
‭‭Послание к Римлянам‬ ‭5:19-21‬
Jun 2020 · 69
Arise Arise
Olga Valerevna Jun 2020
my days have been numbered, my Soul has been bought
by all of the blood I could spill with my thoughts
and there is a Savior where ego once lived
Who grants me His Strength as I learn how to give
my mind was a riot, my heart was a stone
that turned into ashes and Rose when He Rose
a looter, a liar and addict of wrath
was given The Grace to be led to His Path
“Ищите Господа, когда можно найти Его; призывайте Его, когда Он близко. Да оставит нечестивый путь свой и беззаконник — помыслы свои, и да обратится к Господу, и Он помилует его, и к Богу нашему, ибо Он многомилостив.”
‭‭Книга пророка Исаии‬ ‭55:6-7‬
Jun 2020 · 70
Forever the Change
Olga Valerevna Jun 2020
if we change what we say but not how we move
the Truth will uncover the liar we soothe  
and not out of anger and not out of spite
but out of the seeds we have sewn in this life

if we change what we do but not how we speak
the words we have uttered will fall at our feet
perhaps to condemn us, if we should so choose
or maybe to save us from what is a noose

if we change with our heart, we’ll learn by its blood
the things we should say and what needs to be done
not just in the moment, not just here and now
but longer than ever, Forever somehow
“Добрый человек из доброго сокровища выносит доброе, а злой человек из злого сокровища выносит злое. Говорю же вам, что за всякое праздное слово, какое скажут люди, дадут они ответ в день суда: ибо от слов своих оправдаешься, и от слов своих осудишься.”
‭‭От Матфея‬ ‭12:35-37‬
Jun 2020 · 89
The Hymn of the Streets
Olga Valerevna Jun 2020
“I cannot breathe,” he begged through gasps
as minutes moved, his lungs collapsed
the streets would grieve his blood that day
and seek The Poet in his name

if we remain, though he is gone
we have a chance to right the wrong
on bended knee, with head bowed down
it’s you and me - The Time is now
in loving memory of George Floyd, an African-American man murdered in cold blood at the hands of the Minneapolis Police Dept on May 25, 2020.
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