I cut off my bloodline and angled my prose
I wrote things in places where nobody goes
I fleshed out my thoughts with invisible ink
and anchored my Soul on a ship that can’t sink

I rode all the waves that I had in my head
and let my tomorrows be yesterdays’ bread
I thought of the future, I thought of the past
but stayed in a present I knew wouldn’t last

I smiled at sunrise and cried with the moon
I preyed on emotions I knew would leave soon
I let myself float like a fish in the sea
and gave my heart hope like a fond memory

I cut off my bloodline but had to go back
I left things behind too completely in tact
I wrote words in places for others to find
— if life is a book, it exists in my mind

I heard the conversations you would have inside your mind
with all these other people on the daily, all the time
it’s how I got to know you and the person that you are
a man who pays attention to the beating of a heart

you must’ve known I’d say this ‘cause you always used to say,
“I know what words are in your head on any given day”
I used to feel so bothered by the notion that you knew
but somehow feel empowered, like it’s always been us two

we have our conversations now and always keep them light
we talk about what matters in this journey we call life
it’s how I get to know me like I’ve never known before
a girl who pays attention to her heart and so much more

I knew the way I knew you and I liked to hear your thoughts
but now that someone else is you, the thinking needs to stop
you put your head on backwards, made your body fight your soul
you tried to hide the parts of you that I will always know

I know where you are going ‘cause I’ve been there and I learned
you have to manage all the pain where trauma is concerned
I’ll love you from a distance and I’ll stay until you burn
I’ll wait for you to heal and be right there when you return

I listened to the rhythms of my every single day
and learned that I throw daggers more than I could ever say
I keep my body grounded but I keep my mind afloat
still, every intercession comes from my own Spirit’s Hope

I listened to the words I kept on letting out of me
and learned that I can’t bury what I cannot not believe
You keep my body moving and You keep my mind intact
with every intercession, You make all of me come back

I’ve learned to keep my tongue to me in every kind of way
my body has a language but my mouth has more to say
as long as I am tethered to the mind You gave to me
I’ll give a second thought to every word I’ll ever speak

I’ve learned to let the tenderness You rooted in my soul
become the strength I fight to keep when I am in the throes
as long as I stay present, I won’t fall into the past
I’ll give my thoughts a listen and remain in You, steadfast

I’ve learned to let my senses claim as much of me as You
my eyes and ears and mouth and skin are sensitive to Truth
as long as I can find You, I will never talk away
Your body has a language that has so much more to say

sometimes I feel invisible, sometimes I feel so seen
but mostly I exist inside the subtle in-between
I tarry in the stillness, let it satisfy my soul
but carry all the pieces that You give to make me whole

on paper I am brighter than the sun on any day
but underneath my skin I am another kind of way
I give up all the energy I have inside of me  
and leave myself with nothing more than everything I need

today I feel as visible as every kind of Grace
I walked into this morning knowing I would see Your Face
the papers I’ve been reading made their way out of my hands
so here I am rewriting all the words I know I can

I talk to you in private, more than anybody knows
I tell you all my secrets and it satisfies my soul
you walk with me my daily route and always stop to ask
“I’m here to stay, I’ll always be, but where do your feet stand?”

I’m walking on the soil now, I’m testing out terrain
I’ve walked through some that bit me back and made me feel insane
I don’t know what to tell you now, but I know how to be
I know I am the part of you that I can always see

I talk to you in private, like I’m talking to myself
I tell you who I want to be, but I’m  somebody else
I am not you, your are not me, we are not black and white
I’ll meet you in the middle where the colors come alive