I wish they changed the way they looked at me based on ,
my humour ,
my intelligence ,
my deeply caring nature ,
not based on a definition they saw one time .
But that would involve closing a screen ,
Separating themselves from an already formed idea ,
Wishing me to be abnormal rather than human .

The wind picked up ,
for a moment I felt it was possible to fly .
As if I could stand up straighter and see the sky ,
almost.
Then I stepped down ,
onto the ground once again .
I felt you adjust my vision ,
kiss my forehead ,
and leave .

Nothing is the same as it was ,
I am not the same as I was ,
I will never be .

Little changes like the colour of the sky or the way the leaves grew overnight lends itself to my detailed impressions,
You are a different shade of green,
And you are a different shade of blue ,
Than you were two days ago .

While light fades and darkness grows ,
The want for change can be ceased .

I want your darkness ,
Perhaps more than your light .

I feel emotion in the dark ,
And few other places ,
I cannot explain it nor would I want to ,
The act alone of conserving feelings is tough ,
Waiting for the darkness to establish your masterpiece ,
It's like a second skin now .

The confusion is unphasing ,
It all feels right .

Except for those who emote in the light ,
The light provides clarity whereas the dark proves to be more challenging,
Those who convey to others the realities of their lives will never be phased by my stark revelation .

The choice that once was ,
Is no longer ,
It's a second skin ,
I hide everything from everyone yet this alone could be hiding something .

Sometimes I get the feeling that everything is crashing down,
As if a countdown has begun,
And it has in all honesty ,
My stubborn self let's it get to the point of maximum stress each day,
And just when I think something has been achieved ,
It all comes back .

I thought about you , as if you were here
Encasing yourself in my mind , refusing to come out
And yet I wasn't mad , I felt almost free
The smile , the way your eyes flickered
Eventually gravitating towards me , because I could tell you were curious .

And I wasn't fearful , in that minute it made sense
The way you would so carefully lean over so as not to startle me ,
But let's not make that jump , because you did startle me
You altered my primary functions for a second and I feel guilty for feeling grateful ,

The way you can so effortlessly conjure up misfortune ,
Knowingly crushing everything in sight
And yet for a minute , I was grateful.