I thought about you , as if you were here
Encasing yourself in my mind , refusing to come out
And yet I wasn't mad , I felt almost free
The smile , the way your eyes flickered
Eventually gravitating towards me , because I could tell you were curious .

And I wasn't fearful , in that minute it made sense
The way you would so carefully lean over so as not to startle me ,
But let's not make that jump , because you did startle me
You altered my primary functions for a second and I feel guilty for feeling grateful ,

The way you can so effortlessly conjure up misfortune ,
Knowingly crushing everything in sight
And yet for a minute , I was grateful.