STILL ENRAGED
Still single
Still feeling ripped off
Still waking up alone
Still at these ******* coffeeshops only to **** time
Still hopeless
Still feeling weakened by loneliness
Still wanting to slit wrists
Still wishing I was never born
Still wanting to throw myself into oncoming traffic
Still wanting to cry & bash my head into a wall
Still alone
Still alone
STILL ALONE

Still feeling like a ******* outsider in a room filled with people who are my "FRIENDS"
Still losing my faith in humanity
Still here
with you

I hadn't planned on writing this
I also didn't plan on sitting here by my lonesome either
I would've much rather spent it in the arms of lover
curled up watching netflix
dreaming
laughing

But no
here I am instead

with you

My beloved
awaits for my return
on
the other side of
this plane

I cannot return to her
Not yet

my mission here is not complete

And so...the road continues....

Endlessly.....

She walked beside me
many, many centuries ago

our paths were one
I remember it distinctly

I could hold her and feel her life blood for hours at a time

Decades have passed since
and the sands of time have caused us to
grow apart....now I no longer recognize her

our paths no longer one
I now chase pavement

looking for someone whom I cannot recognize
and it hurts

And no amount of music or money or anything can change that

Don't you take
another step

leave your trivial problems at the door

(if only momentarily)

This world....when you really put all
mundane human quandaries aside

is a place of wonder, magnificence and
second to none

I love this place

I wonder how the world will end
I wonder if i will survive this winter
I wonder what its like to have a family
I wonder if i will ever find the stability and security that
I so desperately crave

I wonder what its like to die
I wonder who will be there to greet me on the other side
I wonder why my life has been such a roller coaster of *******
I wonder what its like to have something to keep fighting for

i went towards the light in search of meaning