next day gone

caught in a lie
take me out of the hell

​
if i leave, will you come find me?

in my head,
it's all you

i close my eyes
to find no colours,
just black & white
surrounding me.

i look around to
find that i am in
my bedroom,
with you standing
by the door, with a
look of regret.

i see myself, looking
back at you with an
expression of betrayal.

my vision blurs as
i feel like being
pushed back by
some invisible force.

i let myself go, as
i continue falling,
backwards, into
the darkness, who
swallows me, whole.

as i fall, i close my
eyes, and embrace
myself with my
cold, fragile arms.

i wake up, in front
of a tall, black door.

i lift myself up
from the ground,
and take a step
forward, towards
the door.  

a shadow looms
over me as i step
closer and closer
to the tall, black
door.  

the shadow is
Death.

he smiles and
ushers me in,
with welcoming
arms and a smile,
a deathly smile.

a deathly, and
dangerous
smile.

as i take a step into
the open door,
i take my final breath

as i...

and i...
                                                                                                   fade away,
                                                                                                into nothingness.

today the sky is blue
where are you?

i found a place to hide
from the truth of your
suicide

you used to love sunny days
im not the only one that
pays

visits to your grave
i have to stay brave

i really need you now but
you're nowhere to be
found

the anniversary of your
death
the date that you left

another year
that you're not here

i miss you
my skies will never be blue.

his mind races as
time passes by,

words, photos,
memories of you
; his everything.

do I really want to go through this?

thinking of you all along

shaking hands with the dark

he ripped my heart to pieces
he took the pieces and broken them

one by one


i rip the petals off the flowers
i take the pieces and burn them
i watch them shrivel and die in the flames

one by one

If I had a star for every time you brightened my day, I'd have a galaxy in my hand.

come back to me, i need you here,*
                                                   *here in my life

"and my heart will feel heavy in your absence,

as i lay there awake

at night wondering where you are

and who you're with and did you

finally find what i couldn't give you,

even when i tried."

i walk on the
tight rope,
balancing my
thoughts on
the thin line.

i take a step
at a time,
careful with
each step i
take.

would you like to know how i'm doing?

it's been so long since the last time we talked.

we'll get lost together

​
one day you’ll come into my world and say it all

​
a woman’s heart is a deep ocean full of secrets

all we do is
            hideaway

all we do is
            chase the day

​
i hate the way you talk to me,
and the way you cut your hair.
i hate the way you drive my car,
i hate it when you stare.
i hate the your big dumb combat boots
and the way you read my mind.
i hate you so much it makes me sick,
it even makes me rhyme.
i hate it…i hate the way you’re always right,
i hate it when you lie.
i hate it when you make me laugh,
even worse when you make me cry.
i hate it when you’re not around,
and the fact that you didn’t call.
but mostly i hate the way i don’t hate you,
not even close,
not even a little bit,
not even at all.

my bones, too,
are getting old.
ive tried hard to maintain a meaningful existence.
harder than anyone ive ever known.
and yet we all meet the same bitter end.

another sip of the poison,
drinking away the youth,
forgetting about life, past,
present, and the future.  

blurry vision, buzzing in
your head, but you tell
yourself,

it's not enough
i want more

you tip the remaining
contents of the bottle,
down your throat

the liquid burns your
throat, warms you inside,
makes you lose control

control of your senses,
your common sense
that you need to stop,
that you should stop
before it gets worse

but you keep those
words in the back of
your mind, locking
them away from
earshot

​
my hands, your hands, ******* like two ships

the people you love
become ghosts inside
of you and like this
you keep them alive

i'm a damsel in distress

“momma always said to get a rich boyfriend”

"You become a woman the first time you stand up for yourself when they get your order wrong at a diner, or when you first realize your parents are full of ****. You become a woman the first time you get fitted for a bra and realize you’ve been wearing a very wrong size your whole ******* life. You become a woman the first time you **** in front of a boyfriend. The first time your heart breaks. The first time you break someone else’s heart. The first time someone you love dies."

​
i always thought
I loved you so much
I just wanted to see you happy

But then I saw you
together with your new girlfriend

I wished I could have made
your eyes twinkle,
as if the moon saw the sun
for the first time

everything will fall into place, you just gotta be patient..

her knives
her knives
showed me
my sins

"are you happy?" is such a difficult question.
i always say yes, because i have friends
i laugh at jokes, i go out a lot and have fun
my life isn't as bad as it could be and
i don't have terrible problems
it could be worse.

but then, one night at 3 am when i'm alone,
still awake, lying in bed, thinking about life
i find myself crying my heart out
suddenly i am convinced that nobody likes me or
nobody will ever like me.
i feel horrible and i question everything i had

and i don't know if i was ever happy at all.

​
we’re running on fumes but
we’ll make it through the night

​
stay in drugs
eat your school
don’t do vegetables

you don’t know how lovely you are

​
I’m not sure if i can see this stopping

his laziness built
the pyramids

and
his solitude
was a
knife

yeah, i get it.
i'm too much of a mess for you

​
storm clouds began to form in his head
and crisscrossed his mind like a restless, angry ocean
and the howling of hardship and heartache
kneeled and grinned in his face

i’m so afraid
of what you have to say