A girl that never had a taste of true happiness
she cries herself to sleep every day thinking the life is not fair  
she hides under the cover not leaving her room
  she harms herself think that nobody cares.

she looked up and found a shining star , she cried out-loud and prayed
that someone will see through her scars.

days went by , her mummy saw the scares her mummy cried thinking it was her fault
the girl looked at her mum and hugged her tight
in her heart she know that her prayers were heard
she vowed to her family that she will not harm herself
she struggled to find reasons why not to , since it's the only way she can survive.

months went by and the girl did not harm , but the pain is stronger than ever
she screams and cries then she wipes away her tears and acts as if she is fine
she got new friends and she smiles , her family thinks she is fine
she began to believe her lies.

A year goes by and her past starts to hunt her back
she is scared ,  she tries and not to break again
so she locked herself in a room thinking she can hide
she is lost again even worse she is terrified
she doesn't want to go back to the same spot
she walks around smiling but people curse her
she tries and acts as if it doesn't hurt her ,but words do cut her
she can't tell anyone because they are happy and she feels that
she doesn't have the right to say a word
she started laughing and joking just to hide the fact that her heart is ripped apart
finally she broke down and she broke the vow she went back to her old ways
and harmed herself , her wounds are bigger now she is lost
but only this time who will save her ?

Walking down streets with trees, having no leaves to survive them.
Much like the inescapable mask holding you tight to the road warmth is derived from.
In the waiting breath of tomorrow, you find definition in your predicament.
A lost and hidden emotion coiled in the memories of a yesterdays once forgotten.
Failing to reach the point of unintelligible temperament, missing moments left in between starry skies.
Like a broken hand, or a heart closed shut, no love will be given as we lay in self-loathing.
In the ever ending sorrow, of a bird that lost its flight, as there is little bending in a heart that forgot love.
The constant misconception chiseled into rock with paper lies, in the loss of the ego's battle to disguise.
Hard is the mending of bridges burned so neatly, never more easily to forget.
But the rarely traveled bridges, with broken pathways of regret and neglect, are hardly ever whole again,
Despite carefully taken steps...
It's now easier to forget..
Her..

I came, I saw, but I couldn't conquer.
These tidal waves of animosity are pulling me under.

There's a storm in the sky just overhead.
It's painting my entire life a dark shade of red.
There's no turning back now, and I will not forget.
My destruction was inspired by broken amends.

I can apologize a thousand times but it won't right my wrongs.
I'm struggling to find the place in which I belong.

I've been used, cheated, manipulated;
I've been through it all.
Eventually
It starts to take a toll on you.
I will never forget all of the sadness
That people have caused me.
The sleepless nights
Crying alone in my bed,
holding my teddy bear,
And wishing that there was someone to hold me.
But there isn't,
And there never will be.

© Fully Copyrighted, all rights reserved. Rebekah Fleck.