n: Favorites

Jun 2017 n

Keshia Hayley Africa

Sometimes you open yourself up to a person because you feel and believe that they're different and maybe this time they won't break your heart and that your love will be requitted. So you go out on a limb and open up so much of yourself to this person. Things that you're afraid to tell others about because of fear of being judged or rejected. But there's just something about this person that allows you to tell them everything. You become so comfortable in the presence of that person that you openly admit your flaws, you don't hide it. You just completely lose yourself in love and in the thought and concept of being loved, of being in a relationship and of being with someone that you can be yourself with. The idea of that person just completely excites you and everything about them makes you happy. Seeing them and hearing their voice just helps you in an inexplicable manner and being with them is an emotion of complete comfortability on its own. You learn to love this person and you accept their flaws and differences. You accept how they might not necessarily love eating McDonalds as much as you do or they are crazy about sci-fi movies where you can't even get yourself past watching a chick flick.
But that's just it, you don't mind.
You don't mind because love is about sacrifices.
Its about sacrificing your weekly episode of The Vampire Diaries to watch the most recent sports updates.

Because you'd rather lose the argument than to lose the person. You'd sacrifice a part of your daily routine all for love. The worst part is that nothing is guaranteed. You're not guaranteed how long you will be in a relationship with this person. You're not guaranteed complete happiness and you're not guaranteed that things are going to be perfect. You just have to trust this person and have faith. Believe the best and hope that everything will work out for the. Best. Believe that even if you break up with this person, that you're going to be ok. Everything is going to be ok, and that new beginnings are perfectly acceptable. Believe that you're going to overcome heartbreak of any kind. You just have to believe that someone out there is looking for someone like you.
What others see Wrong in you just might be the exact thing that will make someone else fall in love with you. And you need to be realistic. Not all relationships last forever. Some relationships are there for lessons and experiences. So that very person that you completely open yourself up to, can break your heart. It could be during or even after the relationship.

But its all part of life I guess. You'll never know how to love someone wholeheartedly if you haven't been hurt before. You just have to turn your heartbreak in to something positive, make the most out of your situation. See the light in the darkness. But learn to deal with things too. Find closure in what happened to you and don't leave a relationship with unfinished business. Because unfinished business will have to be finished sooner or later, and I think sooner is better. Allow yourself time to heal too. Opening yourself up to someone that much can hurt you a lot, and everything you had with that person will be completely lost in an instant. And you're gonna need to come to terms with that. Remember that what's meant to be , will be.

Love, is a complicated thing, and you're never quite sure how things could possibly turn out to be. You're just gonna go out on a limb each time hoping for the best and patiently waiting for your happily ever after with a special person.

Dec 2016 n

7 things about you

Dec 2016 n

Hayleigh

7 things about you

i.
You are the only person to show me oceans where the desert lays

ii.
Some people walk into a room and light it up, you walk into a room and set it on fire

iii.
I swear glitter must run through your veins because every inch of you sparkles

iv.
I've never seen stars shine so bright as they do in the pupils of your eyes

v.
I love how as we lock hands the promise of forever finds a home in our fingertips

vi.
Tell me how you manage to turn a tsunami like me into tranquil waters?

vii.
There's not a doubt in my mind that you have my heart, I see it every time I look into your eyes.

Dec 2016 n

Untitled

Dec 2016 n

what's unsaid

Untitled

i'm feeling too numb. i miss the adrenaline rush, i miss the laughter, i miss the feeling of automatically smiling to anything that's related to you. but i don't miss you. i'm just reminiscing and thinking that what if i never feel that again? what if i never find anyone to share those moments with? what if i'm just one of those people who's not meant for anyone else? am i overreacting? will the loneliness and over-thinking eat me up? i'm feeling numb inside and the despair is starting to show in my face. i don't have the energy to fake emotions, or meet anyone new. i'm afraid. i'm numb. i'm lost. i'm in need of happiness. i need to be go back to the way i was. it was temporary happiness but i'd wish to have it all over again. one of the best days of my life were with you and i don't know if i should thank you for them or hate you for not being the person i thought you were.

Mar 2016 n

high

Mar 2016 n

a

high

high
informal
feeling euphoric, especially from the effects of drugs or alcohol.

people mistake euphoria for a feeling caused by chemicals that alter the thoughts in your brain
a high is the feeling you get from standing in a beautiful place breathing the air of freedom you’ve been craving for decades
a high is the feeling you get when your chest is almost going to burst from all the good feelings that are drowning your heart when you’ve only been used to pain
a high is the feeling you get after a long night of dancing under the night sky in the crisp fall air and tearing up because you reached that point where you finally felt like the world was putting your pieces back together
a high is you sitting on a patio overlooking the city lights in a breathtaking place and writing away your feelings on paper because you feel too good so good insanely you can’t keep it in
a high is the way you feel when the universe gives you those rare moments of feeling whole, of feeling like you’re going to be okay
the moments you’re so afraid of are what put your mind into that euphoric state that takes you to places you’ve never known before
highs are forms of love, love for life, love for moments that make your empty chest feel like its full of life again.

Mar 2016 n

blue

Mar 2016 n

a

blue

here’s how it works, my empty chest and empty heart start listening to the whispers of my mind, the darkness in there reaches them and garbs on tightly till the pain starts, i’m lying in bed and i feel like my ribcage is filled with colours i can’t explain, colours i don’t want, colours that aren’t mine and i want them to spill out of my chest but all that comes out is the blue hues in form of sadness & tears. the blue only finds its way out through my eyes, not letting me close them for a second of rest. i think you’re what made the blue in me, because my violet is no where to be found and i’m consumed by the feeling of you. how do i get you to leave me? please, i want some rest from the constant pain that my mind loves to cause me. baby, you’re the constant pain in my head, don’t you get that? leave me, leave my body, take your blue being and make something out of yourself somewhere other than my chest. i’m trying to write you out but i don’t think it’s working. you’re finding your way out of my eyes again & now all i think of when i look at them is the words you spoke to me about them. my eyes died the moment yours met mine, i haven’t been able to revive them since. blue baby tell me, how do i rest again? tell me, would you leave with me?
my soul is begging me for rest
maybe i need to grant it it’s wishes
the blue made its way through my bloodstream, where are the colours that once made me?
what am i consisting of now, other than you?
leave me.
let me leave myself if that’s what it takes.

Dec 2015 n

she believes in destiny

Dec 2015 n

what's unsaid

she believes in destiny

You think from what she's witnessed she'd be afraid to fall inlove
or that she might hesitate to give someone her all
but she's the type of girl that would give until she has nothing left
that's another one of her bad habits that she wants to quit but it's too late
she's too inlove, too attached & she believes in destiny
she believes that if someone wanders away and comes back to them then its meant to be
she believes in soulmates
and she believed that she found hers.

Dec 2015 n

Her

Dec 2015 n

a

Her

she’s the kind of girl you yearn to be
the one you meet once but becomes eternal in your thoughts
she’s more powerful than hope and more astonishing than the colors in the horizons when the world goes peaceful
she’s that stillness you feel in your bones when you’re staring at a star lit sky
she’s the way the clouds break after a long rainy day
she’s the feeling of reassurance in human form
she’s all that is good in the world and all that is true
her colors show in clear rays that bring warmth to your soul
she’s resplendent, with everything that makes her.

for R.

#her

Oct 2015 n

She

Oct 2015 n

what's unsaid

She

She's the girl that was spoiled and loved by her parents but when it came to needing someone to talk or a should to cry on they were never there.
Neither were her siblings or her so called friends.
So she's the girl that would cry alone in her bed hugging her teddy bear. She's the girl with a kind heart that was always being taken advantage of.
She never understood how people could have so much darkness in them.
She believed in being loyal to people.
She's the girl that kept drowning for people who wouldn't get in the **** water for her.

— The End —