currently i am not

     sad

        depressed

               lonely
  
alone

     self-loathing

             insecure
  
heartbroken

     nor breaking hearts


and that makes me feel quite
    
out of
             
               place
because i am surrounded by
  scars

     and tear-streaked (beautiful) faces

  bruised knees drawn up to chests

     dark empty rooms
  broken mirrors

     and trashcans filled

  with crumpled lists of mistakes
and if i could, 
i would take all the

  scars

    tears

     and lonely nights

from the hearts that are broken
                  
                      or breaking
and i wish i could
 cloak The Light i’ve found

    (or did It find me?)

      around cold shoulders

 and wash all the tired feet

   that’ve been blindly stumbling

      in the dark

Does everything stop,
With last look and last breath?
Or sky is waiting for us,
And there is life after death.

When our heart stops beating,
I hope this is not the end.
Maybe there is a long shiny stairs,
Which leads us to some mysterious land.
Maybe that land has its great ruler.
Can it be Devil or God?
Maybe that place is a beautifull,
Or wasteland covered in mud.

If someone was an evil person,
And he couldn't stand a sound of the church bell.
Will he have a good afterlife,
Or devil will open the gates of hell.
Is hell an awful, scary place,
Fire and danger at every spot?
Or it is land full of temptation,
But one mistake can cost a lot.

Is there a peaceful heaven,
For people who were honest and nice?
Will God embrace its believers,
And show them a path to paradise?
Heaven should be a happy place,
Amazing land, where everything is straight.
Everyone ˝ lives˝ full life,
There is not  jealousy and hate.

No one knows what happens after death,
We can only wonder and guess.
Is death same as game over,
Or our spirit is endless?

Wipe your eyes, crying child.
Shake loose the leaden legs,
once so full of life and vigour.
Fling off the shroud, you've
wrapped around your youthful face
of promise.

Wipe your eyes, crying child.
An adult now you are,
and un-allowed to halt when life
has knocked you down.
A cruel world my child,
but a real one.
A needed one.

Wipe your eyes, crying child.
Cease your searching for
the embrace you long to have
once more,
the impossible dream has
sailed away. Their boat has
left your shore.

Wipe your eyes, crying child.
Take again to the
stage which is your destiny.
Pick up your heavy mantle and
tip-toe forward to the light.
You cannot follow her there.

Wipe your eyes, crying child.
And fill them once more full
of life,
hope,
and mirth.
A part of you left beneath the earth.

im scared.
im scared to hug you
im scared to hold hands
im scared to go places with you
because theres always that possibility,
that i will fall in love.
so i hide.
i hide behind my wall.
i have built it very tall.
i fear by trying to block you out,
and push you away,
i have made you just want to stay.
that scares me.
because i think i have,
scared myself,
into loving you.

You shook your head again at me an action i know only to well,
Frustration covering your face disappointment easy to tell,
The one thing that I'm best at is the one thing that you hate,
Being a failure no good be smarter, you sit and contemplate,
So we'll sit here in silence nothing more to say,
I am nothing, I am worthless thats how you made me feel today.