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Maybe so I willed
In half sleep’s ethereal stream
In January’s mustard field
She hugged me in liplocked dream!

What now she said eye on eye
I’m come past all fear
So our lips never go dry
Nothing stops us from here!

I put my tongue on hers
Rolled in her saliva filled
Her eyes blinked million stars
Traveling time in the mustard field!

Bloomed yellows thunderous bright
Rained sky a sweet redress
Dream came at end of night
Wept wet in her embrace!

I tiptoed on her bedside
Her lips quivered moist filled

Maybe so she willed

Same dream in the mustard field!
 Jan 2014 Not-So-Superman
Ashley
I saw you again.
last night you haunted my dreams
with that cocky smile of yours
and sarcastic attitude
I remember when we were friends
and you were like me;
lost, and hurt.
only you chose to be that way for a guy
and I didn't blame you.
I never did.
but, I tried to tell you that he was toxic
sometimes you'd believe me
others, you were too in love.
it's a crazy kind of love, isn't it?
but.. eventually we grew up.
and you left him and went off to college
while I'm still here, lost, and hurt.
I tried my best to talk to you
but you found new people
people that didn't have problems like me
and you left me.
sometimes I wonder if our bond meant anything to you.
the nights we spent convincing the other that we'd make it through
and maybe one day we'd rule the world
and sometimes I wonder

if it even hurt you.

..i miss you.
a.c
I guess you could call this a flashback
Maybe even a lament
Sleepless nights always drag out my inner demons in the subtle madness of complete silence
Then again my memories are always hazy until I reach that point
The point where I ripped off my angel wings and fell from cloud nine
I guess really it’s not a lament more an old broken duct tape together soul trying to teach those around him who are following a path he had drag himself out of
Their experiencing the release of powdered heave
Their loving the absolute embrace of pixie pills
Their caught in the web of grass that twists on the pearly gates
Their living what I already almost died trying
Like Icarus I flew too high and came crashing to the earth.
But at that point I was no longer living with angel wings
I was crawling around with devil feathers then
I was selling my soul to a needle filled with the most emulsifying and weight lifting crude toxin I could get a finger on
And like a weight I came crashing down one day awoken by a beggar merely happy to see me alive
I guess what I really mean to say is I’m tired of hearing that all these wonderful poisons aren’t addicting
You become like a bird hardly ever wanting to set foot on the ground
The grass in the clouds is gnarled and vindictive trapping you to it like a spider web
The angel dust like pixie dust lets you fly but confines you in thorns and splinters when you can’t
The sweet nectar of hand held doses may break your chains but only at the cost of a choke collar tied to the release itself
And when all these magic paradise inducing chemicals don’t work they turn to the most caustic vial venom the world can find
An injectable heaven that leaves them a dying husk of who they were.
So I was wrong it is a lament but at the same time its me trying to preach
I know I’m the ***** sweating in church
I know I’m the recovered addicted who never asked for help
I know I’m the happy supportive psychopath
Trust me when I say I know I’m weird one of a kind human being
So I beg of you to listen to my learned wisdom from playing on cloud nine
But you don’t
You won’t listen you think you know it all
But
You haven’t walked down the rabbit hole as far as I have
You haven’t played chess with the devil for the next flight to cloud nine
I know I seem like one big conundrum of hypocrisy
Preaching what I already did
But the reason I seem like that to some of you is simple
It’s because I’m preaching what you don’t want to hear
Now im not going to make you listen
Though you should
On those long sleepless nights when the sweet velvet like call of angel wings whisper to you please ignore them
I know it’s a brutal thing to deny what’s like heaven itself but please I beg you not to follow the mistakes I’ve made.
Don’t resort to other reliefs like another warm body or a bottle of fire water
Just keep strong
I have seen the pits of addiction
I’ve done many a things I will never forgive myself for
So from a ruined tattered soul like myself please heed my warning
The leaves of the tree of life only go so far
The dust of enlightenment is not permanent
And the magic pills won’t send you up the bean stock forever
Stop pretending to fly above the world and instead embrace those around you
Before you wind up like me scrambling to save a dying *****
While fighting to find your family and friends again
Leave the toxins, chemicals, and venom behind they only leave you to rot inside the shell you once called your mind.
Inspiration on a sleepless night. It's a truth I came to understand the hard way.
 Jan 2014 Not-So-Superman
RA
Missing
 Jan 2014 Not-So-Superman
RA
I miss you the way
          that the sea, who tries
          so hard to stay, misses
          the shore, even though she knows
          it's impossible and even though
          she knows they will meet again
          soon, she tries to rage against
          the tyranny of the moon.
And some days I
          miss you the way the moon
          inevitably pines for the sun. Although
          they will never meet, she waits until
          the sun's warm rays will touch
          her face and she can pretend
          she gives off her own light
          while she glows. And even
          so, half of her life
          she cannot see the sun
          for the earth.
But most days I just miss you
          the way the earth longs
          for the stars. They are so
          far off and they glitter seemingly
          so impossibly. Like the earth I
          cannot come to you and
          like the stars, you
          are so far away and
          so beautiful, but
          you are
          so cold.
December 15, 2013
     edited January 12, 2014
     further editing January 29, 2014
How I love you
But I hate you so much
How I feel when I see your smile
and the look on your face when you blush
makes my my mind go fuzzy
and my blood rapidly rush

I couldn't possibly live without you
Without I'd surely die
But knowing I can no longer be with you
always forces me to cry
Time again and again myself I hurt
but I always seem to try

It feels as if you came from a dream
Body so perfect, face as surreal
But the heart of a devil
Honestly what's the deal?
You act so innocent, flirting away
Why do this, you know my heart you steal

No matter how many times I'm told
I still dish it out on a tray
Watching you trample all over me
knowing how much you me betray
And after all I know so well
I still can't seem to look away
love love me do
the reply, of course,
feed me tea and oranges
that come all the way from china,
meet by the river,
meet me by the marketplace,
meet me at
the railway station,
we'll pretend to be
strangers in the same compartment,
long lost
combat buddies,
exchanging SOS's,
duelists hidden in plain site,
you'll say I like that tune,
the reply, of course,
it's a memory I haven't had yet,
it's sad and it's sweet,
someday, I'll know it complete,
when I wear an older women's clothes

puzzled,
he will try to be impressive,
trading rhymes for freedom,
verses of hearses mourning distance,
but there are no secrets
the eyes can keep,
or others cannot read,
and if freedom is longing,
then these children are free,
not at last, but to long.

They are the
children of the morning
leaning out of windows,
looking for love,
will they lean that way forever?

there are twenty eight new moons
in the month approaching.

there is a reason for every day,
plus one.

sand castles get washed away,
but
dreams of waves and days
yet to come,
continuous and connected,
the cells and words
that transverse water bodies
built from the long lasting kind of
defiance,
the kind that states as its premise:

love can and should,
perhaps even,
will,
conquer the spaces
between the letters of their
exchanges and trade
whole words for
actions.

but what do I know, little,
for I am but an observer,
a driftwood beetle from another ocean,
a linesman of a different kind,
who only know how to hum
on a long distance line,
a single tune,
she loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah,
an eavesdropper of their voices
that are neither muted,
nor common.
Apologies to Leonard Cohen, Bill Joel, The Beatles, Glen Campbell and Nat Lipstadt, and one or two others who are nameless, from whom I plagiarized shamelessly, for inspiration.

In popular usage, SOS became associated with such phrases as "save our ship", "save our souls" and "send out succour". These may be regarded as mnemonics, but SOS does not actually stand for anything and is not an abbreviation, acronym or initialism.
I wander, fog embracing me at my waist.

Around me, the world whispers so quietly.

What a shame that secrets are being kept from me.

Further and further, on this trance of a trail.

A thirst full of lonely fills my belly,

I gulp the air, and choke.

With the numbest of numbs,

I dance to the ballad of hopelessness that seeps through the skull attached to my neck.

For the first time, I do not fear the piercing silence.

The legs below me, are mine no more.

Stones of curiosity taunt my toes with each step.

Anxious, an unknown destination lies ahead.

Through the black, I see a mouth with teeth made of railroad tracks.

Subtle echoes crawl, inviting me right in.

Soothing me, as I am swallowed by the darkness within.

Becoming blind, pupils mirroring a charming sort of misery.

Ears twitching, each sound brings a sting of someone else’s memories.

I hear slaughter, painting pictures of ****** scenes.

I bow and take my seat, surrounded by old needles and pins.

In awe, I watch as my skin melts away as I put myself to rest.

Basking in this seclusion, I hum a sickly tune.

My bones are dead petals, wilting and left to decay.

The thrumming muscle in my chest jolts,

lightning is shot from each one of my pores.

And in a fashion more graceful than death,

I disappear, leaving behind only ashes.

Whispering quietly as my remains float away.

Oh what a shame it is, that I am a secret that will forever be kept from the world.
 Jan 2014 Not-So-Superman
mads
From afar I stand structurally sound,
No large gashes or permanent pinkish slashes,
But wind your way closer and peel back your eyes
The rust begins to show,
Climb inside I'm slowly eroding,
And collapsing.
Most feel it's better to partially admire
From behind a series of cement structures
Only glimpsing at my strength and stability.
So tired, so done
Whatever you do,
don't ever ever ever
throw out a piece of paper.
One day you could
be cleaning out your room
and discover a sheet
covered in scribbles
and notes in the margins
and raw thoughts
that might even seem to come
from another you entirely.
But whatever the page says,
you'll see yourself in it
and be taken back to those feelings--
if they're good, they'll remind you
of times you felt happiest;
if they're bad,
you'll be able to look at them
with wisdom you didn't have then.

The eraser is not your friend.
It tricks you into thinking
that words you have dared
to get out on paper
might not have been good enough.
A really cool thing
about things you write
is that it isn't like real life:
any ending you don't like,
any aspect that isn't
exactly completely perfect right away
(and believe me,
not many aspects will be)
can always be returned to and rewritten
any time you want to change it.
But write your first drafts in pen,
because any thought you have
is going to be beautiful
because it is your own.

And finally, if you ever do need
to get rid of a piece of paper,
recycle it.
Cause the beautiful part
about recycling
is that it takes something
that you just werent able to use
and turns it into
something that could be
meaningful and beautiful
to somebody else.
She has her secret magic
to keep men's hopes alive
she's truly fantastic
the girl the woman the wife

On earth the heavenly flower
in color's riot blooming wild
south wind and summer's shower
god's face is she girl child

The morning though passes to noon
times in her wings fly
she's a woman too soon
the woman of my eye

The woman of all weather
without her man is woe-man
she's wife sister mother
the way only a woman can

She fathoms what men don't tire
see her heart burned and holed
till she walks the whole length of fire
and be the woman in their eye old
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