Aimless wander
In the unfathomed depths
I drove into the walls of truth
Disentangled my mind
From the imprudent rationalisation
Of the subjective.

The late afternoon sun
Whose heat dusk would soon to absorb
Sifted through the window
Exposing particles of dust
Lightly strewn on the glistening cement floor
Of the passageway
It must have been September

Daisied grass beneath my feet
Ladybird crawling along my fingertip
A fleet of autumn birds on the wing
Above me in their hundreds
Their remedying cadence
Humming and resonating in my head
It must have been September.

When we heard stories
Of those who yearned
To feel the void in their hearts
with experience
To drive away the cold
through design
Stories of those who knew not
what to do with their hands
How circumstance
became the author of who they were
And how they gave up the ghost while teetering on the precipice of possibility
They told us of the fearless
Who pranced
on cliffs with steep edges
The hopeful
Who clung to the almost with dead hands

In the twilight of dreams
The hollow corridors echo
Louder than ever before
The walls are smeared
In nostalgia
Memories creep in
And congests weary minds

Somehow
We march onwards
Like intrepid lions
Cognisant of unkind truth
The way is long
And if we crumble now
We may never recover.

I want to descend
from the razors edges
To stray from these borders
Darkened by virulent desires
My bones crackle
Blood runs cold
Devoid of reason but not choice
The familiar bother
I want to love
The will to be is
But my hair smells of madness
And running and running.

I know you best when you are flowers in the barrels of rifles
I know your strength
When your hem comes undone
When you delicately stitch the fragments of your unbecoming
When everyone else is reaching is reaching for the sun
I know you when you ache to swallow it
When you rip through the Gods
Searching for the skeleton key
That will quieten the feeling
The cure
Vague, elusive
I know you when your love is sacrificial, ******, dangerous,
clingy but real
I know you best when fold your soul over
Pick it apart
Dangling on these edges
The soil in your fingernails
Lilies blooming in the spaces between your ribcage still.

Halation stretched
As the sun melted into bone
The sound of waves
Murmuring in the distance
Where like whispers
Falling on ears eager
For reassurance
Soothing, forgiving
Mending the very fabric of existence
Once shredded
Beyond repair

Mother nature had just
Birthed Spring
Along with the rudiments
Of designing a new
Dawn

Sometimes

Clutching the guts of life
Burning an effigy of former selves
All this raw fervour pulsating
Through and through
To want the blood dark
The alchemy of madness

Sometimes

Delicate, illuminating
Neither gentleness nor fragility
But grace
The unruffled color of pearl
How are you both these women?

Mother I tempered with the forces
I became a villain in the story I've written
Mother remember me chasing pavements
The ardency of the gnaw
The absurdity
Mother remember the box of darkness
The dirt in my fingernails
When the moon fell
And my guts sat heavy on my chest


Mother remember, the sweet sun on our backs before the severing from the cradle you sang to
The wind was a lullaby
Blue stained onto my faculties
Mother impending doom sits
In the pit of my stomach still
Mother don't worry, I quietened the blood
I stitched the hem of the undone
The sunrise in the east breathed life into my body
And those hands
Mother I made a home out of a bruise

I am pixelated dust
And your face is the moon
All that you pulsate
Renders me blinded
And bound to the
Elastic tether of want.

These continents
spat me out
The bones never rested
The guts of these frigid borders
Could never
Cradle nor contain
This incorrigible dreamer
At the very bottom of the barrel
Tethered myself to the foundations
Dissolved my whole being
In delicately stitched façades
And probables
Whose emotional resonance
Has long withered
Senseless
All these feet can do
Is chase the bitter winds
Shards of hope
Strewn
Broken compasses
Blinding lights
Tremble, seeth
Drenched in sin
In the centre of
The barren lands where
Sanity fuels the faculties
The ginormous machine
Devoid of soul.

I can only say this to you
While you're sleeping
I drag a tremble
From another realm
Like pulling an endless string
From the throat
My head is a caged animal
Some kind of madness
Coiled around bone
I dangle at the edges
And borders of everything
That wilts
and
You
Say my name
As though you've found grace

Your face is the moon
Guiding
These feet
That always tread
Towards the uncharted
In search of home
Distant places
Euphoria
It gathers
Washes up at my feet
Takes root to eager bones

You encircle

My spirit drifts towards these things
Your face is the moon
Gleaming with zeal
The asylum of your arms
Mending the snare
Spliced by old knives
Long forgotten
At the bend of nevermore


You encircle my yearning

The asylum of madness
In the center of winter
Some kind of palpable presence
Forevermore drips down your chin
I am a ship passing in the night.

Day and night's
Fleeting Collision
Above
the field of dreams
Prairie grass swaying
To the sound of the wind's
Gentle aria
Caressing skin
The sweet scent of the evergreen
Carried in the breeze
Hauntingly
Lingered like a shadow
Stilling
The hue of dusk
Saffron's fade
Igniting bones
Spirit's reprieve
At the edge of August

His advances are doused
In ludicrous intensity
And devastating emotion
A sufferer tethered
To puppet strings
Clutching on to the hem of my dress
Consuming each word I say

And I,
Do not care for him.

It sat in the viscera that winter
It all did
The unfed energy of madness
The unbridled
Recklessness
Foaming at the mouth
Virulent
Bordered and contained
The ****** footprints
Of choice
Deranged rationalisations
Virulent
Bordered, not contained
Seeping through the fissures of sanity
Tipping at the very edge of reason
Where once blousy hydrangea bloomed
Cradling the night
The gothic hands of time
Stood frozen.

Daniel,
Wish I was lucid
So I could see clearly now
Dawn has come

The unfed energy
Of palpable madness
Virulent desires
A shallow grave
Where convictions blaze

This last ricochet
burning words for light

Daniel
Wish I was lucid
So I could see clearly now
Dawn has come

You wear the night so well
If the heavens ever did speak
They reiterated endlessly
Of the topography
Of your Irisis
Evoking a gentle bloom
In my chest

Sea of lava
Skin peeling from bone
Sempiternal purgatory
In diablo's abode
The realm of darkness
And disgust

Gazing at the abyss
The bellowing of a thousand
Doomed souls
Trembling bone

Soul left stained
By pervasion of impurity
Expunge these earthly sins
From conscious
Rinse these veins
Beautiful lethe

I haven't really laughed since 2009
He said,
He then divulged his struggles
As did I
We spoke of the mutual regret about not keeping in touch
But with conflicting schedules, relocations and studies
It is comprehensible we veered in opposite directions and lost contact

My estranged bestfriend

We reminiscenced about the time when we were school kids
In stiff shirts, massive floppy hats
And giant blazers we practically drowned in
How eager we were to go home
When the siren went off at 3:05pm
The shanenigans at the pavilion
In sixth form
When we were the lords of the academy

A strong grip on my giant mug as if it were the holy grail
Huddled in the corner of a cozy eatery

In his company once again
it felt as though I had arrived home where fire burns incessantly in the fire place
On a winter's night

We laughed about my truancy
And how he got kicked out of the rugby team on account of his rather lanky physique
He imitated our biology teacher and tears flowed down my cheeks
That kind of laughter
You feel in your core
And your whole body shakes

So captivated by the various discussions
We both forgot to sip on our steaming beverages

He narrated a few short stories about the events
that have taken place since we last conversed
I in turn narrated mine or lack thereof
He emphatically tilted his head to the side
God, I had missed those gestures of his
It all came flooding back
His mannerisms
The way he moves his hands when he speaks  as if he is trying to literally hold the conversation

For what seemed like a lifetime
Before saying goodbye
Dead-eyed
We stared into each other's eyes
Almost as if to telepathically say
Do you remember the time
When we were so alive.

Serenity under the ripe lurid sun
The steady breeze of air
From the mountain peak
Created sublime hymns
of rebirth and restoration
And filled the chasm in my heart
Through and through

Enclosed in auroras majestic luminescence
Weightless and lionhearted
Unconstrained by trivialities
Of everyday obligations
I pondered on the authenticity
Of new found clarity

As I fed on the tantalizing
aroma of euphoria
I savoured each breath

When I emerged
From the picturesque surrounds
I prayed I had abandoned all my convictions
In the field of yellow stained daffodils

Lungs inflate
The whistle of the biting wind
Hauntingly stilling
Moss covered mountains
Colliding with the sky
Enveloped in unruffled grandeur
Far from the shore's strife
The golden hue above, glimmering
On waters that lie calm
Softened
In the centre of winter

December
Sashayed in
With soft shivers
Down my spine
Stilling the blood
Coursing through veins
Gathering bones
Trepidations
And faculties
Gathering all these things
Turn my face towards
The bright white
The reverie falling
Behind me
Like shadows.

Some nameless deflation
In the pitch black
The tapestry
Of deceit
Meticulously strung
Of the softest words ever spoken
The dead embrace
A body
A thing
Shrouded in mystery
I care not to unearth
I couldn't love you
You were a small war.

I stopped writing about love
When I realised  
I am incapable of
Discerning between people who love me
And people who lie to me.

Midnight's embrace
It perpetuates
With reckless abandon
It leaks from the cracks
Of this sick foundation
Then it buries without remorse
Nor recourse
These are the catacombs of intention
Is this the last of the blood jet red
The aftermath
Or the interim?
Sneers of anguish inhabit the spaces between panic ragged breaths.

*©The Noose

It shrieks in conditioned iteration
Then it turns inwards on itself
Satiated from absurdity
Fervour absconds
The faculties
I am done chasing ghosts

I had not the courage to write
My blood lacked the stillness
My pen ached to bleed
Words from this mildewed heart
I could not gather my bones
Nor my flesh
Disturbed by the noise in this labyrinth
I have felt like a burst natural disaster
All my viscous remains
Draining away to some forgotten wasteland
Where sorrow breeds
My emotions have been gentle but piercing

It's these roads devoid of landmarks
It's the thorns beneath my feet
The concrete boots strapped onto my ankles
It's the fog and my quivering hands
The want in my veins, how it roars
How on the best of nights
I cannot my life
And ever so often
The murk seeps from my fingernails
All these fragments of grace strewn
Like discarded morality

I have been too distracted in my feeble attempts
To grasp at the pale
My bones gravitate towards the irretrievables
Always
I keep seeing the colour of pearl
Blinding me
Binding me with

I am afraid of the way need
Grasps my very bones
I cannot contain this emergency
Screeching through the fissures of burgeoning intent
These irretrievables
Release and tighten
The elusive alchemy of balance
The havoc it wrecks on the senses
All these feet can do
Is chase the wind
Frail hand's outstretch
In the static of melancholy

Sinking in this shred of light
Intentions laid bare
Dragging the tremble of a jilted lover
I remain vaguely haunted
All I have ever embraced slips from my quivering hands
It's the obvious approach
This matyring
These are the bones I am made of  
Incessant heart's roar
The violence it wrecks on the senses

Long stretches of weary silence
Laboured sighs
Devoid of concrete
Lost among the stray remarks
Certitude becomes magic
Feigned ambivalence
My desires tucked behind my teeth.

I do not know why or how
I conceived the notion
Of being the exception
Where has irrevocable devotion drained away to
All I know is nobody I know has it.