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  Sep 2020 noelle
sunsetbythewindow
We all are fighting
Invisible war
We don’t know who’s winning
But we all see everyone losing
noelle Sep 2020
i wish i wish i wish
i could be you
for just a night.

i wish i wish
i could feel genuine happiness.
for just a night.

i wish
i could be normal.
for just a night.

but that's life, right?
the point is to suffer?

maybe it's for a lesson.
but i'm smart enough.

maybe it's bad luck.
but i don't deserve it.
noelle Sep 2020
i should be used to it.
it's been 3 years.
but it hits different every time.
take what you want from this
noelle Sep 2020
me
i love writing
i love all music
i love my girlfriend
i love my family
i love basketball
i love learning
i love debating
i love decorating
i love planning
i love movies
i love fashion
i love thinking about you
i love long boarding
i love my hair
i love my eyes
i love my stuffed animal
i love girls that remind me of the sun
i love feeling my emotions
i love my baggy jeans
i love sweatshirts
i love my room
i love my hands
i love my name
i love me.

but i also hate how i talk
i hate how i walk
i hate how i run
i hate my laugh
i hate my voice
i hate my mind
i hate ignorance
i hate skinny jeans
i hate ponytails
i hate when people touch me
i hate how they make me feel
i hate boys that are incels
i hate boys
i hate trump
i hate society
i hate my face shape
i hate my learning style
i hate my body
i hate me.

so which is it, noelle?

i'm not quite sure
noelle Sep 2020
the silence is so loud:
telling me i'll never be okay

i'll always be alone.

but i'm used to it.
noelle Sep 2020
she
she smells like the ocean on a summer morning
she looks like a priceless piece of art
she feels like freshly washed silk bedsheets
she tastes like a crisp apple straight from a tree
she sounds like a breeze fluttering the curtains

she is perfect for me.
inspired by the song she
noelle Sep 2020
i stood there,
hands on the bathroom sink,
leaned over.
who was staring back at me?

it surely wasn't the little girl
who called for her mom
when she scraped her knee.

it surely wasn't the little girl
who dreamed about having a husband some day.

it surely wasn't the little girl
who always wanted to live.

now, i do not recognize this person.
but hopefully, someday i will.
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