Letting go of the past is so much harder than it seems
When its ghosts haunt the air around you
And assault you in your dreams
Now I look into the future and nothing is how it seems
And I am slowly letting my life slip away from me
Like a Phoenix from the ashes I fought and rose again
And sat atop the highest perch grinning in the wind
But then I was beaten down by the weight of all my sins
Now the ghosts that were the enemy, well they are now my only friends
I've sat alone and cried, has it been months, has it been years?
Is the earth really dry enough to soak up all my tears?
Self pity gets you no where but my reality has become my fears
And the veil of strength and success has gone from black to sheer
One by one they left me, all the people close from time gone past
They marched away to live and grow until I was left at last
The only one stuck inside my prison oh my how time does pass
Now I sit with their ghosts inside the mudbrick walls as death approaches fast
I'm not strong in my convictions so I wont go out with a blast
And the research shows that from the time I was born my die had been cast
Living here in a foreign world, withering away in fear
Screaming silently in my head oh please come back my dear
But her ghost replies that she is gone and I can feel it near
The black hole of my future expands and everything becomes so clear
Without me the sun will rise and time will still move on
The tides will shift and happiness will reign whether I'm here or gone
A man should not have to suffer a life in which he doesn't belong
So he sits and waits for death to grasp him with its melancholy song
How could I have been so wrong
In the last few months I have lost everything dear to me. Love, my job, my family. And depression has such a grip on me that I am stuck, forced to inaction like a deer in the headlights. I just don't know anymore.