Insecurities

We all have things that we don't like about ourselves,
it maybe your laugh, or your hands maybe even your voice,
whatever it is; don't you think it's insane that they can stop you?
Stop you from finding yourself, stop you from meeting new people,
or maybe stop you from taking a massive risk in life.

This 'thing' you need to overcome it, no matter how hard it is to.
You need to accept that you're actually beyond compare,
there's only one of you, so how can you compare a rose to a tulip?
The rose has thorns but does that make it any less beautiful?
The tulip may not stand out but does that make it any less wonderful?

You shouldn't feel insecure because those 'things' make up you,
once you learn to accept them you can live your life to the fullest.
Along the way you might find someone who not only accepts them
but falls in love with them too and brings you happiness.

( n.a )

At first I thought we would be eternally one
From that day you arrived and broke down my wall
When you said goodbye our story was done
You took everything after I gave you my all
And so I sit, today with this pen in my hand
Rewriting the things I wish you had said
Maybe the story behind you’d understand
And from me, astray you would not have led
The scars all over me you would have seen
If I had confessed the truth much more soon
So much more happier we could have been
Aligned with the lovely stars and the moon
   But you’ll never come back and I know why
   Your new angel is who you’ll stay beside.

31/12/13

Dear you,
Here's what I never plan of telling you.
I love you and I like you then after a while I end up hating you, I

don't understand how it's possible to feel so much love yet so much

hatred for just one person.

You’re fascinating yet so ridiculous, and oh so heavenly it's as if God

had sent you so I get a taste how heaven feels like and I am never to

sin again. They say it's the imperfections that make a person perfect,

well you must have a sack full of imperfections because you are

beyond flawless.

It pains me to see you hurting over a girl who doesn't feel even lightly

the same way you do towards her; you've been lingering on the

memories for so long that you haven't realised it's already been two

years. She’s just being friendly yet you’re letting her tug your heart

strings like you’re an old guitar in the attic.
I guess I could say the same to myself though.

I like it when you laugh, I like it when you tease me about the silliest

things, I like it when you just say simple things. I like it when you ask

me questions, I like it when I realise you know me so well. I like it

when you play the song you hate on the guitar just because you

know that I love it. I'm just about in love with every little thing there

is about you. Even when you’re not talking to me I realise a simple

“hi” means a lot to me.

Just as I'm completing my daily routine you suddenly appear in my

mind. It’s all so cliche it makes me giggle yet hurl. The girl who

ended up falling for her bestfriend.

You know that I love reading and it’s funny the stories I read they're

all overused and predictable but I still loved reading them because

I'm a sucker for a good old fairytale ending.

The quiet, shy girl has a bestfriend who knew her since childhood

he's the popular attractive guy everyone seems to love. He's had

many girlfriends who in the end broke his heart, throughout all of that

his bestfriend has stuck by his side. In the end the two friends end up

together happily in love and realising what they had was special and

forever.

That’s when I remember life isn't a fairytale nothing’s ever that easy

or predicable in real life; that’s when I also realised we’re so different

honestly I don’t understand how we even talk to each other. It's

strange we hardly have any common interests, other than the fact we

both love music but even our taste is completely different.

It's four am in the morning and here I am writing about only a quarter

of things I'll never tell you, maybe you'll find out one day or maybe

you won't. Lifes unpredictable isn't it?

( n.a )

I want to get lost,
stumble into a place of unkown.

I'll look around and see nothing,
correction nothing that's familliar to me.

My heart will race,
no sentence I mumble to myself
will sound right.

On my left I'll see a pairs of bodies,
they're all lifeless but smiles
are plastered on their faces.

On my right I'll see you, looking up
I follow your gaze and my
eyes thread together in confusion

I do see something
pale moonlight and stars splashed
across a midnight canvas.

I'll ask what we're doing here,
you'll reply,

"We're lost my dear,
just like you wanted to be"

Still to this day
the brightest of stars
can't compare to your eyes.

You appeared out of the darkness
in my mind, like a star, a light,
an angel perhaps?

As much as I'd like to say
you were the one to save me,
the truth is you didn't.
You were a beautiful distraction,
a magical daydream
that suddenly ends every night.

I crash, falling right into an
endless gap as if
the earth was devouring me.
It all turns blank whenever you leave.

The pain is once again
numbed when you return.
You're a drug, the worst drug there is.

Will you be the one
that ends up killing me?

The most painful scars
are the ones others cannot see,
the ones that are left on the mind.

I want to fall in love
with you so deeply
to a point I can't
bring myself up.

Late at night
I want your name
written all over my
young mind to
a point where I
can't ever erase it.

During the day
only the memories
of you and I to play
in my head
over and over again,
to a point where
I turn insane.

See I want all of
these things,
just as long as you
stay with me.

If you leave all
that would **** me.

for you my dear
I am an Autumn leaf
carelessly falling
without a sense in
my mind.

When the stars
start to appear
and it's time for
the town to sleep

I'll stay up wondering
about all the things
that you and I
could be.

The lonely raindrops
placed soft kisses
on his pale skin,
right at the tip
of his button nose
leaving a light sprinkle
of love marks behind.

The twinkle in your
ocean blue eyes
when any of us
mention her name,
it's a heartbreaking fact
that we all know,
she'll never feel the same.

You suddenly appeared
and showed me something new.
You told me that you’re different
and that I could trust a boy like you.

My walls soon collapsed
then I began to fall.
During my lonely days,
it was your name my heart would call.

I waited for you to arrive
but you never did.
That’s the moment I realised
You had a secret side you cleverly hid.

I built my walls back up again
But still haven’t managed to fill up the cracks
I guess if I had to be really honest
I’m waiting for you to come back.

love is when
you notice one of many flaws
and learn to appreciate that
it's there.

love starts the instant,
you hear the alluring thoughts
the words that are never spoken
when the heart unfolds.

love is the moment
they call you up at three am
in the morning because
you're the only one that
they can trust.

love can be seen
that moment neither of you speak
but take in every single emotion
that's painted in the eyes.

love can be in many forms
and if you manage to find someone
who loves you I beg you
to love them back.

It's hard to unlove a person
just like it's hard to love a person
for who they really are.

Warm, short lasting
and full of memories.

Your laugh, your eyes
and that unforgettable smile.

The photographs we took
left under my bed gathering dust.

I call you my summer
because just like that,

you were slowly disappearing
Your colours started to change.

You should know,
I have never liked summer.