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Mar 2014 · 527
Boy you're no good.
Nikos Bogart Mar 2014
And they told me.. "Boy, you're no good."
"Which one of them?"
"All of them.."
"And you believed them."
"Yes"
"So what did you do? After they told you i mean."
"I shared my sorrow with this place for quite a few years."

"Close your eyes for just a moment. I promise, this won't hurt you."
"Alright."
"Which was your favourite place? Before it all started going downhill?"
"I.. I never really had one."
"Hmm. That's not true. You did."
"Enlighten me then."
"A beach. It was really sandy, and the sun seemed to take days to go down. It felt soothing, right? I find it hard to believe you forgot all about it. Are you afraid?"
"Of what?"
"To admit it. How much you loved this place. Would something bad happen if you tried recalling it?"
"No."
"Then what's seems to be the problem?"
"It would be useless"
"I don't seem to understand"
"Nobody believes i deserve something as beautiful."

"Haha. And what do you believe."
"I believe they were all right"
"Is that so?"
"Yes"
"Let's go for a walk"
''I.. I can't!"
"May i at least ask why?"
''I just can't! I'm afraid!"
"Of what? If i return. If i try, i will die!"
"I've seen the future. I know what happens. Remember?" He got up from his chair and opened the door. Immediately the sound of waves and seagulls flowded the quiet room. There was a fresh smell of salt all around.

"How about we go for that walk?"
"This won't end well."
"Right.. Because they told you so. You're good for nothing.. Get on your feet. Now!"
"Okay.." They both crossed the door and his feet immidiatelly got sinked into the hot sand. The sunslight was blinding. His heart was racing, his feet were trembling. "We really shouldn't be.."
"Shut up. Would you kindly? Tell me. How come such a beautiful beach is empty? Theres no one around."
"People are *******"
"All of them?"
"Well, most of them."
"Hmm.. Is that so?" Suddenly some figures started appearing in the distance, walking towards them.
"What, what are you doing?"
"Let's put what you just said to a test. Shall we?"
"No, you don't understand. I can't. I don't want them!''

"I'm sorry." He looked at the watch on his rist. "It seems it's my time to go. He smiled kindy as he headed back, towards the door to which they both came from."
"And what about me! Huh? What about me?"
He offered him a formal smile one last time. "I Sentence you.. -He made a small pause- to life.." And he closed the door behind him.

The figures which previously appeared in the distance, where now almost next to him. Most of them smilling, others just looking curious. One of them took a few steps towards him. She was the prettiest of them all, with her dark hair and her white dress. Walking barefoot in the sand. She offered him her delicate hand. ''Hi. I'm Zoey." She smiled.
Even i can't really give it's meaning to you. I just wrote it about a year ago after a depressive episode. It ended. Bad times always end.
May 2013 · 506
One last smoke?
Nikos Bogart May 2013
I spend the nights shaking. Drenched in sweat. I dream of you often. I do not want to, yet i do.

I've had dreams where my teeth where getting ripped off straight out my mouth. And yet the ones with you are the scariest ones to me.

I'm afraid i'm of no good use to you or to anyone else no more. Afraid i'll never get the chance to see you. Even for a minute.

I wish i could see you, even if i dropped dead an hour later. I no longer fear death. What is there to fear about it after all? It's only the end of a bad journey.. I'm afraid to die without one last great moment though.

I want to live. I want to live to see you smile again. No matter how confused i get at moments, your smile is one of the few things to help clear my mind. It just makes sence on such an awfull world.

I wish i never met you. Things would be more simple. And i would be feeling better. I'm afraid for you. Afraid that you won't make it through on your own. And that only scares me more.

What more is there left for me here? What more is there to live for? My chest is tight and i feel as if i breath fire through my lungs.

I light up my last cigarette and wonder if i'll live long enough to have another one later on..

Fear is a tertible burden to carry.
May 2013 · 1.2k
Somewhere i don't belong.
Nikos Bogart May 2013
I'm a relic of the past..
Something that time should of wiped away while passing through, and yet choosed to drop here. A place where i don't belong.

I was never meant for this world. A place where concepts such as compassion, sympathy or love have almost become exctinct from the people's minds a long time ago.

I should of have been born when wars where fought hand to hand. Clothes where made only by silk.
And wise men were tutoring right before your own eyes.

Purpose is what gives me hope. Helps me breath at nights.
Dreaming is my escape from this misery. Making me feel whole when everything else feels hollow. Guilt is my motivation when there's nothing more to fight for. Pushing me to fix everything again.

And sorrow is my only companion. Never to leave my side. And what a strange companion it is. She has no tongue or language to use, yet constantly whispers in my ear. Often using my own voice.
No arms. Yet i feel her grip all around my chest, sometimes even within my soul. Strong as ever. She screams when i'm asleep. And whispers when i'm awake.

She's my one and true friend. Never to leave my side until this journey ends. And time himself takes pity on me..

— The End —