Recently,
I posted a picture
of my bare feet
walking in the rain
with the hashtag
numb.

The thing is that the picture got a few likes
but no one knew what the real message was
hidden behind my bare feet.

Home
has made me numb
to sadness,
the police,
true care
and generosity,
creating the facade that
blocks me from the world.

Boarding school
has made me numb
to grades,
fear,
anxiety,
slowly stacking the bricks
to complete my facade.

I would like to say
that something broke my facade
or took down some bricks,
but it only continues to build
so I end this poem in hope
that the weight off my chest
lifts at some point.
That the connections I lose to my facade
find their way back together.
That the relationships that drift away
can be replaced.
That the self doubt and self hatred
can be eliminated.
That the need to build a complete facade
has ceased.
But for now, I am stuck
in a constant
numbness.

Magnetic eyes revealing her dark soul
Mysterious mind with secrets to unfold

Abandoned creature wandering the desert
Psychic intuitions make her a beautiful predator

A death stalker she would **** to survive
Seeking experiences and glory in her life

Once i saw her crawling by my bed
Mezmerized by fear or passion
I couldnt tell
I should have ran but decided to stay
I should have remembered that her sting would take my life away


Words Of Harfouchism

Out of the night that covers me,
  Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
  For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
  I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
  My head is ******, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
  Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
  Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
  How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
  I am the captain of my soul.

You fenced off your eyes
with a charcoal black,
then stranded in snow
and an endless depression,
you painted your death-mask
in venetian ceruse,
hoping that it would be enough
to appease your critics;
to keep away from the sun,
to slip through the seams of time,
and to a place where
the evenings do not seem so long.

You gave your sanity
to a useless drug
and kept your identity
to the picture
within his wallet.
I hope you know your bravery is noticed.
I hope that for once
you can find peace
amongst this constant state of war.

Open your ears to the dead beat,
Open your eyes affixed to the wall,
Open your mind to the ever-flowing ether,
Open your heart so one might hear the call.

To the wild, arcane, gilded centurions,
To the ambient, intangible outcomes,
Enfolded in the very fabric,
We trudge across, frolic and sway.

Almighty pendulum of surrender,
flickering on the lake beset before us,
A sea, an ocean, the vacuum of space.
Dark; the color that mows the harvest

Emptiness is an embrace
at it's best in absolute zero
no emotion
no existence
no warmth
and no life

it is alone
a giant being filling every space
in and out of known existence
with cold calculating precision
no passion

Yet it can lose so easily to everything
because it can only be compared to nothing

immeasurable
even in the way of our universe
emptiness carries itself beyond

Neither organic or synthetic
it is ethereal
larger than anything

stars and the nebulae they live in
if stars are alive
then maybe they feel it too

a screaming silence with a whispered touch
embracing the warmth and light
because it knows endless darkness
it has no day and cannot call it a night

Knights of the Nebulae
sustain and destroy life
for when they die  
they push everything away
only to be born again

such beauty  
to be a monster and a guardian

so small and precious  to emptiness  
if it could feel
it would be eternity

It's raining, it's pouring
My young heart is soaring
I saw a girl and fell in love
Couldn't find her in the morning