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 May 2013 Nikita Marley
Andy Cave
It seems like forever since I've felt the way I do
heart beats skipping with just the thought of you.
I feel like I'm in love but it's too soon to know
but every moment spent with you
just makes these feelings grow.
With my whole body I taste these peaches,
I touch them and smell them.  Who speaks?

I absorb them as the Angevine
Absorbs Anjou.  I see them as a lover sees,

As a young lover sees the first buds of spring
And as the black Spaniard plays his guitar.

Who speaks?  But it must be that I,
That animal, that Russian, that exile, for whom

The bells of the chapel pullulate sounds at
Heart.  The peaches are large and round,

Ah! and red; and they have peach fuzz, ah!
They are full of juice and the skin is soft.

They are full of the colors of my village
And of fair weather, summer, dew, peace.

The room is quiet where they are.
The windows are open.  The sunlight fills

The curtains.  Even the drifting of the curtains,
Slight as it is, disturbs me.  I did not know

That such ferocities could tear
One self from another, as these peaches do.
i wake from a nightmare,
a nightmare where i was alone.
i was cold,
frozen to the bone,
and in a lightless place.

...

i feel my love behind me,
not quite touching,
but there all the same.
my heart flutters in happiness,
still recovering from the scare i got.

...

i can sense them like a detached limb,
i always know where they are.
they haven’t moved in a while,
they must be in a deep slumber.

...

i realize its freezing,
roll over and snuggle closer to my love,
a comforting smell,
a warm body.
there’s nothing.

...

i reach my fingers out further,
timid.
still nothing.
only more coldness.

...

i stretch my limbs out to resemble a star fish.
touching all corners of my bed.
my heart wavers,
i remember.

...

they were never there.
i never had them beside me,
never had been in love.
it wasn’t a nightmare,
it was real.  

...
Gasping for breath
Again.
How many times
Should I pretend?
Smiles and laughter
Scratches and nightmares
After.

Preening and playing
Screaming and bingeing
Contemplating.
Parties with liquor
Bleeding and bruising
Stupor.

Watching and curious
Withering and unconscious
Hideous.
Caress my broken soul
Maybe my spirit's just an empty
Hole.
Like a spider I build my trap
Oh mere man, you unsuspecting sap
soon I'll have you in you in my lap
No one will no of your mishap

Many clever devises have I
Long brown hair and eyes that lie
Soft curves whisper a low sigh
My web encloses your last cry

Some call it love, I call it greed
This all encompassing deep need
I ask no reason for this deed
But let my own black heart lead
I like you.
I like you.
I really, really like you.
That goes through my head when I see you.
Why can’t I make that come out of my mouth?
Maybe because I’m afraid?
Afraid of rejection.
Afraid of humiliation.
Afraid of being hurt.
Again.
I’ve been hurt once.
By one I loved.
Will you be the one?
The one that will be worth my tears?
But won’t make me cry.
Those blue eyes.
I could look into them forever.
Your laugh.
I love to hear it.
You.
I love it when I see you.

I like you.
I like you.
I really, really like you.
Maybe one day you’ll know.
But for now, I’ll keep it inside.
But I’ll be dreaming of the day.
That you say to me.
“I like you too”
 May 2013 Nikita Marley
Solaces
I'll walk you through the rain..

Hold your hand in the lightning..

We will clap our hands as the air cools from the passing lightning,
THUNDERCLAP rumble on through..

Come play with me in the puddles brother..

Lets make a bottlecap boat with a sailor ant and watch it float on through the grassy ant lake..

Lets watch the rain moths fly on through after a good storm.. where do they go? into the dreams of the ones who are sleeping now..

Smell the atmoshere, smell the rain.. Watch as the day becomes filled with orange and sad gray..

Sure its muddy, and a bit cold.. and of course we are not wearing shoes.. But we are having an adventure, there is no time for such nonsense.. Only magic u and i create.. together brother, always together..

— The End —