As I walk, I dream
Slowly letting my spirit teem
I go through this life, filled with strife
Floating along like a simple moonbeam

Away on ships I go
To where exactly, I do not know
Somewhere away from the pain so I won't have to feign
This pathetic masquerade of a show

Roses float around me
Gently in the sea
It stretches out, rolling about
As calm as it ever could be

Deep in shadows I rest in wait
Meeting you at the floral gate
Though nowhere you are, as you're up with the stars
And so shall forever be late

The clock ticks slowly, by and by
Accompanying me while I cry
Under my blanket of air I still feel you there
Whispering "I love you" and wiping my eye

Promises have been broken by you
Everything I heard was true
But if that's the case why do I still miss the face
Of the one I thought I knew

Play a song for me, I'll shed not a tear
Though I have much to fear
You disappeared from my sight, took away my light
Now each day feels like a year

Time engulf me, make this end
A letter to you I shall send
Hold me tight, I won't put up a fight
If only peace you can lend

A hundred reasons to cry
And I don't even know why
But I know with you here there's nothing to fear
Even though you're up in the sky

Another good night to you my dear
Please don't shed another tear
I am with you, know it is true
And remember you have nothing to fear

Dream once again of happier things
Like jokes and juggling and the joy to sing
Do not forget these, hold on to them, please
And remember the happiness I can bring

I love you so much
I cry

I cry because
I care

I miss you too
And I cry

Because I
Love you with such intensity

And those tears aren't
Always of sorrow

Sometimes it's
Because the love I feel

Sometimes overwhelms me
Sometimes I cry

Because you
Just make me so happy.

I heard an antique music box
Play out of tune and rather sour
But, the smell that came from in the box
I could savour by the hour
It took me back to days gone by
Days where messages weren't mixed
Where you heard terms you no longer here
Like "he got eighty sixed"
You'd watch tv together
Or sit and sing around the fire
Things were simple, crisper then
Not all muddled in a mire
Things had double meanings
Now, this music box I speak of
played a tune, I'm not quite sure
I think I heard it in a movie
sung by Dorothy Lamour
Lovely Hula Hands...I think
It took me back to days before
You could see inside the music box
There was a little secret door
I worked to get it open
To see what secrets it did hold
What some child might have hidden
what to them glittered like gold
I worked the rusty hinge some
And it opened with a squeak
Inside I found a flower
so brittle and so weak
Someone hid this flower
for a reason, only theirs
And it remained here deep in hiding
Away from peoples stares
I wrapped it in some paper
Put it back inside to hide
I left it for someone to find it
Long years after I had died
I could imagine where it came from
I might be right or might be wrong
But, in the not too distant future
They'd try to figure out the song
I decided that I'd leave it
Out of tune and slightly bent
For a time when I would need to
go back in time, with that sweet scent

It feels too early for them to be playing the ******* Wii
and I realize I can't even see them
but I feel each of them step on my head
hear each of them yell at me to wake up
that I've been asleep too long.
I roll over and try to my eyes
but realize they're already open, and have been.
I unclench the blanket
from my stomach
which is screaming near as much as my head.
And I quit blaming the headache and stomachache on them-
they are fast asleep
and I'm just hallucinating their presence
and 6 in the morning
because those aren't dreams
they are hallucinations.
Or so I find when I take my phone out of my pillow
(beating it on the ground because i can't find the end of the case)
to see why my phone alarm hasn't gone off.
my phone says it is 2:30
and I realize that I set the clock three and a half hours ahead
in my half lucid state.
I stand,
separating myself, in a less than graceful manner
from my brothers carpet.
I stumble through the doorway
lit by the lamp he always keeps on
through the dark hallway
and into the bathroom.
I flip on the light and shut and lock the door in one movement.
my eyes are tired and bloodshot
my head and stomach hurt.
I let a small stream of cold water go
and splash it over my face and open eyes.
that does nothing.
I through more water over my front.
no effect.
I try to scream but no sound comes out.
I open the the door
letting the lock pop loudly enough to deserve a four hour lecture.
I'm tired of lectures.
I stumble back to my makeshift floor bed
and try to lay down.
my stomach complains
I can't bend all the way.
I pick up my blankets and pillows
(silently screaming)
and carry them to the small couch.
I flip the tv stand over and throw grandma's blankets and pillows
I'm done giving a ****.
I throw my bed down and lie there.
for two and a half hours I try to sleep.
I'm too tall
I decide around five.
I stand
throw the tv stand
all the other pillows and the phonebook
the other way
and lay down on the large couch.
it takes me fifteen minutes to fall asleep.
forty five minutes later
I wake up to him screaming at me.

She sits there
fifteen feet from me
alone.
tears are frozen in her eyes
have been for a few days.
I know how she gets,
I used to wipe away those tears.
But now I just sit here and pretend not to notice
because she told me to.
And that's what hurts-
not that she told me to-
but that I can't disobey
and go sit there.

If you've wondered why I shy from bathing in your eyes
-it's because I'm terrified of where you'll drain me.
Refraining
Abstaining
From explaining why my brain chains itself to the thought of you.
The thought of you-
Remains coursing through my veins like heavy doses of *******;
I can not restrain the rain that steadily maintains its downfall along the inner walls of my thighs
If I jump inside your eyes,

Will you bathe me?

Listen
to the voice inside
Telling you that it's not impossible
to love again.
You have seen pain
But if you gave it another day
There could be more than that.
It's not supposed to hurt
As much as it does.
It will fade to a dull ache
and be less than a pinch.
Wasn't built to last
This thing called pain.
It springs from within
and needs to be driven.
It will come to pass
In the dawn of a new day.
Things done in secret
to stem the flow of energy
bubbling over and pushing
For an outlet.
It started out as an accident
and now it's here to stay.
you were hurt badly before
and now you don't want
To let go and love again.