I remember the first time I saw you,
you were on the front left side of the gym
walking to the sign in table,
I knew you'd be important somehow.
I remember the first time we talked,
we were on the bleachers on the back right side of the gym,
you sat in front of me talking to your friend, my friend,
I knew I wanted you.
I remember when you first started sitting with us,
we sat in the painted-floor circle in the middle of the gym
It took some time before I worked up the nerve to say
"Oh hey, I have that free too! I'm usually in the cafeteria."
I remember the first time you spent a free with us,
front half of the cafeteria, middle row, back table
you taught me how to unlock a password locked phone.
I remember your colourful shirt with black sleeves, you wore it often,
I remember hoping you'd be there every free after that,
and you came a lot after that.
I think we were the reason for the vending machine shortage,
we probably bought all of the chocolate chip cookie ice-creams.
I remember the first time talking about you,
and I remember the first time being told "he's not a good idea."
I remember the first time being told "you like him, don't you?"
and I remember the first time you invited us to your house
we didn't go because I was scared
I remember the first time I got your number,
and I remember trying to contain my excitement.
I remember walking all the way home to get my long-board
because you said you would skate with me
you haven't seen your skateboard in years but you decided to leave that little detail out and pretend you were going to look for it
I remember the first time we hung out alone,
I remember the park, I remember the swings.
I remember returning there months later
and laying on the grass looking at the light blue sky.
I remember looking at the dark blue sky,
and the starry night on the high-school field just months later.
You held my hand for the first time that night.
I was locked out of my house that night.
You walked me home that night.
When I got home you walked off singing 'Rude'
and I remember thinking "I am so *******."
I remember the first time you kissed me,
it was on my forehead.
I remember the first time I kissed you,
and your shocked reaction.
I remember you falling asleep,
and the twitching of your jaw,
and they way you pulled me closer.
I remember laying on the hammock with you
watching the day turn to night.
I remember the first time I went to kiss you on the lips,
and I remember you taking out a cigarette
and crossing to the window.
"I'm not as stupid as you may think"
I remember you leaving,
I remember getting hurt,
I remember falling apart.
I remember your explanation,
and I remember kicking myself for understanding.
I remember you saying you're not ready.
I remember when you decided you were ready,
I remember the first time you kissed me on the lips,
(waiting for almost a year was about to **** me)
and I remember thinking for the first time in years,
'i might get hurt. but that's alright. that's alright.'
Two months short of a year ago I met you,
and I don't remember the feeling I got the first time I saw you,
because you can't remember what never disappeared.
you're important, somehow.
i knew i wanted you.
(NJ2015) (All Rights Reserved)