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i am not pretty i am not beautiful i am not
poetry i am not music i am not inspiration i am
not good luck i am not strong i am not lucky i am
not smart i am not a relationship i am never looking back
i am mondays i am not fridays i am not red or blue or
gray or black i am not a disaster i am not a tornado
i am not a hurricane i have no eye in me
i am not captivation i am procrastination i am a constant
dark sky there is no light in me i am not honesty
i am a bundle of never ending lies i am insomnia i
am a biting insect called insecurity i am not a butterfly
i am not a night owl i am more like a tree that never grows
i am not sunshine i am not the moon i am not a star i
am an asteroid i am a college workload i am an infinite
amount of excuses and insults loving me will not
be like falling into a cocoon of warmth it will be
more like being tied to a rock in the middle of the ocean
i am not a model type skinny i am instead a bag of twigs
i am not a calm swim i am drowning i am your last shot of
***** that turns into 20 i am the penny stuck to the bottom
of a jar i am lost money i am scalding hot chocolate
i am times square i am letters i am gigantic words that you
can't pronounce i am late night studying i am your favorite
coffee shop that closes early i am not the girl that
you will spend the rest of your life happily with i am the
key to a motel door and a night you will regret i am the
one night stand you wish you could stop thinking about
i am auto correct that is never right i am the phone number you
cannot forget i am reliable i like to think about running away
but i never will spending your life with me will not be happy but
it will also never be sad because i cannot stand to see
people sad even though sometimes i am and i use big
words and if you can't pronounce them then i'll teach
you how to and i procrastinate all the time but i'll help you
be organized and i'll wake you up early so that you can
get to your favorite coffee shop and i'll warn you that the
hot chocolate is scalding hot i'll cut you off after your
last shot of ***** and i'll write you bad poetry that'll make
you laugh to make up for it and we'll spend the
entire night watching bad romance movies and cursing
love so that you can try and forget that one night stand and
because i never learned how to swim i always stick by the
life guard so i'll save you if you drown and i am not
perfect but i am also not broken; instead i am a never ending
cycle of both regret and loneliness and so much more
but i'll make sure that you'll never have to suffer any of that
because i am your july thirty first thoughts, and you are mine

(h.l.)
don't ask me how this happened because i wasn't even planning on writing a poem. also the line "i am not a hurricane i have no eye in me" is from @hs_poetry on instagram
there is a feeling
fleeting
i mean
there was
something
on my mind

it lumbered in
without
greeting
and sat
wherever
it deemed fine

there was
meaning
i meant
to bring
with me to what
is here & now

but answers
elude me
i'm left with what
that thinking
did allow

it's never
anything
good or
helpful
it's mostly dreadful
and bathed in doubt

yet i wander
wonder & ponder
what all
this feeling
is about

it won't make anymore
sense, it won't it won't
and that's fine that
it won't, it won't, it won't

that's fine that it won't
i'll force myself afloat

you'll see me heel & toe
with the undertow

i'm reaching for touch
i ask for too much

i will find complete peace
in the sun & snow
i can't commit to anything

form included, i suppose
Give me back my broken night
my mirrored room, my secret life
it's lonely here,
there's no one left to torture
Give me absolute control
over every living soul
And lie beside me, baby,
that's an order!
Give me crack and **** ***
Take the only tree that's left
and stuff it up the hole
in your culture
Give me back the Berlin wall
give me Stalin and St Paul
I've seen the future, brother:
it is ******.
Things are going to slide, slide in all directions
Won't be nothing
Nothing you can measure anymore
The blizzard, the blizzard of the world
has crossed the threshold
and it has overturned
the order of the soul
When they said REPENT REPENT
I wonder what they meant
When they said REPENT REPENT
I wonder what they meant
When they said REPENT REPENT
I wonder what they meant
You don't know me from the wind
you never will, you never did
I'm the little jew
who wrote the Bible
I've seen the nations rise and fall
I've heard their stories, heard them all
but love's the only engine of survival
Your servant here, he has been told
to say it clear, to say it cold:
It's over, it ain't going
any further
And now the wheels of heaven stop
you feel the devil's riding crop
Get ready for the future:
it is ******
Things are going to slide ...
There'll be the breaking of the ancient
western code
Your private life will suddenly explode
There'll be phantoms
There'll be fires on the road
and the white man dancing
You'll see a woman
hanging upside down
her features covered by her fallen gown
and all the lousy little poets
coming round
tryin' to sound like Charlie Manson
and the white man dancin'
Give me back the Berlin wall
Give me Stalin and St Paul
Give me Christ
or give me Hiroshima
Destroy another fetus now
We don't like children anyhow
I've seen the future, baby:
it is ******
Things are going to slide ...
When they said REPENT REPENT ...
if only you knew what you
meant, it's true
I've never heard wiser
spelled outwards of you

"when this storm clears,
I'm going to see so many stars"

that's right my dear,
they stretch infinitely far

if only you knew
you spewed metaphor

that your words would mean more
than crashes and steady downpour

when this storm clears, all
I've reaped will be clear
to you as the thing you
need to leave in rear mirror

when this storm clears
you won't be scared of thunder
anymore, lightning will even
widen the eyes in splendor

eyes that were once so
sensitive to light

when this storm clears

all that remains of me
in between air molecules
will dissipate in the ever-
stretching space of
positive possibility

every good thing out there
will guide you like the north
star did, to heathen and
heavenly saint alike,

through famine and flood
wading through rivers of blood
the light above
is constantly in love

that love will shine for you

when this storm clears
there will be no trace of
the dirt and grime that's
since sullied your mind

when this storm clears,
you will be happy
if I could, I would do more
 Jul 2015 Nicole Hammond
irinia
the sensation of
wet hair
in my teeth
pretty much your touch
your loving so heavy
words - a safe hell
in the soul's cavities
I'd recklessly counted
the fork's teeth
till my bones were spread
in the cemetery of years
no one confiscated
our competition for enduring
the snow of silence
finally bears some fruit
the impossible breath
urged me to save
some cement smile
till I can separate loneliness
from fresh dust
in my tired eyes

I must have been practicing
the patience of wood
the strife-wife
the brutal lemonade
on empty stomach
perhaps this feeling
is the concern
I've been searching
desperately for

maybe I've warped
what it means
when an individual
breaks skin

there's a chance
this obtuseness
is quite acute
sense of caring

I've lost all sense
of what I was before
you won't see me
through hoops again

but perhaps it is
in the way that
I suffer, that
I find romance

there is beauty
in all things
the opposite if it
no exception

it hurts to exist
but the pain
soon becomes
symphony of sorts

and one needs
the orchestra
as massive as
it can possibly be

I will become
the music
of my being

I will move
ever forward
with

the blowing
of the
winds
I yearn for progression
Let us go now into the forest.
Trees will pass by your face,
and I will stop and offer you to them,
but they cannot bend down.
The night watches over its creatures,
except for the pine trees that never change:
the old wounded springs that spring
blessed gum, eternal afternoons.
If they could, the trees would lift you
and carry you from valley to valley,
and you would pass from arm to arm,
a child running
from father to father.
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