I push you away you pull me back in, we both say were done and then here it comes again.

Its a never ending cycle why do we even try, waiting and hurting trying to fight the things we can't deny.

What is it about you that drives my desire, everything I feel for you burns within me like a fire.

I can't explain how much I need you I can't begin to say, but this time your hearts on the table and its my turn to play.

I won't hurt you the way you did me I won't cause you an ounce of pain, then I realize you've been hurting for months and it's because of my name.

You ask if i'm trying to get back at you am I playing only a game, but I only came back because my feelings for you stayed the same.

I've tried to hate you and pretend like I don't care, but secretly I was always wishing you were still there.

One foots in the future the other in the past, I wanna move forward but afraid we won't last.

I see you standing there with that look on your face, puzzled and confused watching me re break.
You watch me for a minute and silently observe, then with a heart broken stare you look down at the dirt.
You've been waiting in the shadows watching me around every corner, thinking she's about to fall oh God I just want too warn her.
I got a glimpse of you a few years back, when I was the one crying and caring was what he lacked.
You sat on the other side of the room tears filled your eyes, you was confused and hurt thinking how could she believe his lies.
Fast forward a couple years your standing their still, he's the one convincing me to take all those pills.
You slide down the wall cradle your head in your hands as you think to yourself for her I pray this is not the end.
Here we are now but I still dont know your name, but you know everything about me including all my pain.
Again i hit the floor but this time you sat down at my feet, I glance up to find the person staring back is me.

I will cherish you for as long as i live.
And my heart to you I will fully give.
I will love you forever and hold to this vow.
I swear I could never love as much as I do now
When I'm with you I am whole, I am finally free
I no longer feel I can't truly be me.
My heart beat without yours is an empty sound.
My soul without yours is a hole in the ground.
I need you here with me love, say that you'll stay.
I have to swear this now or it won't rest at bay.
Your smile lies written on my heart.
Like the old hymnal says, how great thou art.
You are my peace, my lover, my friend.
My soul will rest with yours until the very end.
I am grateful for the moment fate joined us together
So I promise my love to you now and forever.

I have never taken the time to write about myself, never the tears of my past or the pain I have felt.

Only the relationships I have spoken about, about the ones who have caused hurt from their coming in and going out.

I am afraid and scared for what reason I can't explain, but everything about me is like a wreck lace train.

I'm worried and anxious I long to be free, behind the painted on smile their are heavy chains that you dont see.

Depression and fear consume my life, I feel like I lost a battle that I never could fight.

I'm trapped inside this cycle I can't get out, every "It will be okay" has all faded out.

When I'm alone and scared I cradle my head in my hands, and the feeling that runs through my existence I pray isn't the end.

I cry without reason I'm sad without cause, between the anger and pain their is no pause.

I look around and see everyone living their life, then anxiety and fear stab me like a knife.

I am trapped and that you dont understand, you look at me but you dont see who I am.

It hurts to think that this could be all their is, I pray to God that it will reach its end.

You dont catch me when I fall you dont understand how lost I feel, you have no idea what its like for nothing to seem real.

I have a **** in my heart a tear in my soul, the feelings i bear show no sign of hope being told.

I feel bad that I can't be the person that you want, I myself feel like I will be the only one who hasn't won.

I've given up on you ever understanding because you dont, I can't say i blame you this kinda relationship I too would not won't.
So alone I'll sit with my head in my hands and pray this thing I battle I win.

In silence you sit you stare at the wall, thinking about life trying to make sense of it all.

At what point do you realize what all you've endured, you have to close your eyes and look inside yourself for the cure.

The faces that have caused nightmares the words that have brought you to a kneel, the
pain is excruciating but this is how you heal.

Feel the hurt and anger rushing inside your heart, your one step closer but your still at the start.

Remember every word embrace all the pain, let it rain over you but dont feel one ounce of shame.

Let it all consume you take it all in, breathe in deep then let it go like the wind.

Sit inside these emotions and feelings for what they are, keep your eyes closed and bend down your guard.

Your eyes are wetter now youve began to walk up that hill, dont be scared or afraid of what you might remember hear see or feel.

As you stand on top of your mountain look down and see it all, remember the ones who abandoned you the ones who didn't care to break your fall.

Let this pain break you feel it all over again, now keep walking down this moutain your almost at the end.

Your heart is breaking your soul is tired, all the pain you feel is all over you like a burning fire.

Take a second now can you see yourself in the distances, that's the person you can be you no longer have to show residence.

Wake yourself up now open wide your eyes, you've experienced healing your no longer bound by their lies.

Your thoughts are more clear now your heart cares for the past a little less, and on your face where no hope was your smile their now is kept.

Look at that light dancing tell me can you see it, this is what you begin to notice when you experience inner healing.