I've never gone anywhere
without seeing crows.
In fields and malls,
classrooms and bathrooms,
they're never missing.
Sometimes they'll come right up
and those moments are petrifying
because there aren't any breadcrumbs
but the bits of fears on shoulders.
When they land before you,
you can feel a massive pressure
on your chest, trapping you
and catching your breath.
I know other people see them too.
I've seen people cursed
with crows always hovering,
whispering in their ears,
pecking at their insecurities,
and screeching self doubt.
Mine is never far behind me
and he'll never leave.

A determined existence is
Just mental slavery,
And you have been forced
Into accepting by the
Inhumane ******* of
A world run by profit.
Your god is the same
As the monsters with
Dollar signs in their eyes.
Pay your taxes,
Pray to your god,
And follow the Golden Rule.
Your parents always said that
Those were the ingredients
For a happy life, right?
But they never told you
That God and Country
We're looking out for
Corporate greed and they
Won't spare a penny
To help you survive.
So you have been
Blinded to the truth,
Corruption so deep,
You can't trust anyone.
Question everything.
Blind faith brought
The Two Towers to the ground,
And bombed Pearl Harbor.
The cross killed millions
After Jesus bled for
Your right to be a blind bigot,
Preaching love and
Practicing ruin,
Hate because of love and
Protection for criminals.
When the Catholic Churches
Sold out the Star of David,
****** capitalized on the hate
To leap to power and
Force millions of men to
****** and die over beliefs,
And choice in imaginary friends.
All you know is fear
Of the different and unknown,
Taught to you by
Your family, church, and country.
A mental slavery based
On submission, ignorance,
Hate and fear.
All of this was
Carefully constructed
To keep you buying,
And to keep the same
Outdated beliefs, divisions,
And people well established.
It's all so entrenched in
Our society that you
Already have misconstrued
My message to be an attack
On your existence  
But you are my comrade,
Without arms to fight against
The corrupted establishment.
So here I am,
An arms dealer,
Delivering to you
Truth and sparks
For you to pick up the fight
When my rebellion is silenced.

Driving back
beside me
became a man

he said
cigarettes
and driving
are bride
and groom.

The crow
agreed
for me.

I’m done with blindly
Accepting all of your lies,
**** faith, earn it!
I’m shredding your books.
Prove me wrong when I say
That you’ve never helped anyone.
Fix a ******* problem,
Instead of making more.
So far all you’ve been
Is an object of war, hate, and bigotry.
Stand for love,
Like you claim.
Stand for love,
Or get the **** out.
I’m done blindly
Accepting all of your lies,
**** faith, earn it!
When you get on your knees,
And beg for forgiveness,
Remember you’re the only one
Who can fix it so
Put those clasped hands to work.
Get up and do something,
Instead of praying for it.
Don’t thank God for
What’ve you accomplished
With your blood, sweat, and tears,
Thank yourself for hard work,
And party with the devil.
I’m done with blindly
Accepting all of your lies,
**** faith, earn it!
Remember when you say
That you’ll keep me
In your prayers,
That I’ll think of you
Every time I watch the news
And see people dying and killing
For their imaginary friend.
I’m not making the
Leap of faith for
A jealous god,
Or for an instigator
Of hate, war, and bigotry.
I’m done with blindly
Accepting all of your lies,
**** faith, you don’t even deserve it!

The deviation from
The American revolution is
Derived from the corruption,
With direct correlation,
Of the ruling faction.
We are one nation
Of sheep under god,
Blindly walking to our demise.
The institutions held dear
Only produce unfounded fear.
If the treachery of Fox
Is something you missed,
You are the reason for
The desecration of our Constitution.
And the propagation
Caused by your sinful reproduction
Carries false misconceptions
To another disillusioned generation.
When explosions dismember
Our fragile society
I hope you’re a victim.

Fatherless at four,
Faded since fourteen,
Floundering through life,
New failures everyday.
But a few dreams and
Fuzzy new ambitions,
Faster than I can fail.
The music was in my
Heart and soul, or,
So I thought until
I got that one letter
From the school of music.
Undecided what to do
For the next forty or fifty years,
Or whether or not I can
Even handle five more of
Just fighting to feel
Something like happiness
So my mom won't cry.
Figured I was smart,
At least smart enough,
To feel successful
Until I sat down in a
Real physics class and
Overslept the first hour
Of my exam.
**** it, I can fake it!
At least for now..
Maybe tomorrow I'll
Wake up and find my passion,
Or even better,
I won't wake up at all.

Die Zwergen Armee kommt
und Wir sterben.
They come prepared
For an all out war,
And they are ready
To fight tooth and nail
Until no man is left standing.
With supplies unceasing and
Weapons of mass destruction,
All of our lines of defense will fall.
We are not capable
Of withstanding the continuous onslaught,
Indisputable is their power,
Unending is their greed,
Unimaginable is their cruelty,
Unwavering is their faith
In complete and utter victory.
Inevitable is our demise,
Inapt are our defenses,
Inexperienced are our allies,
Inexorable is their march to
The beat of our doom.
Die Zwergen Armee kommt
und Wir sterben.
Passion drives them onwards
To conquer all lands that
Dare to oppose them.
We can not hope to last
Like the Spartans at
The Battle of Thermoplyae
No matter how strongly
Our laconism inspires us.
As mankind’s future dims
And is ultimately vanquished
Before our very own eyes,
We can only hope
That our end is quick
And merciful in execution.
Die Zwergen Armee kommt
und Wir sterben.
As I watch the heads of
Friends and family fall,
The decapitation of hope
Is as absolute as the blood
Smeared across the castle walls.
We refused to listen as
They cited holy scripture
To vindicate the necessity
Of our annihilation.
We held strong to our faith
In eternal glory as martyrs
For our philosophies and convictions,
And they bore witness
To our determination,
But we bore witness
To their determination
Only to watch it demolish
Everything we cherished.
Die Zwergen Armee kommt
und Wir sterben.
Die Zwergen Armee kommt
und Wir sterben.
I have uttered my final statement,
To forever be the last
Hoarse whisper of my existence,
“You will see the error of your ways,
And I will not repent for the sins
You claim I have committed.
I will let the all knowing
Judge and condemn you all
For the atrocities committed
By your people.”
Then my blood soaked
The soil of my Earth
As my entrails slid out of me,
And I fervently tried to
Force them back inside,
But it was all in vein.
And my final vision
Before complete oblivion
Was my still beating heart
In the hand of my enemy.
Die Zwergen Armee kam
und Wir starben.

******* it.
Drama of my life
And ray of hope
I don't know how
To tell my mom
What you are to me,
But I think that it goes
Something like this
Like a pungent oder
I hate you and my
Face crinkles at the thought.
Like a unicorn you
Make me grin and
Believe in fairy tales.
You love to laugh
At my misery and
Remind me that I
Won't amount to anything.
Even worse you love
To bat your eyes,
Make my heart swoon
And my brain melt.
You are my poison,
Killing me everyday.
But my pill bottle
Says your my cure,
Twice a day.
Like a pungent oder
I hate you and my
Face crinkles at the thought.
Like a unicorn you
Make me grin and
Believe in fairy tales.
Cigarettes seem healthy
When I see your eyes.
The rest of you may as well
Be a ******* fountain of youth.
The disease is my cure to
My disease and the disease
Is you.

She sauntered to me,
Stealing air from my lungs
Steaming the room.

Strange how she
Suddenly held me
Staring into me.

Silently, viciously,
Sank her teeth deep
Straight to my soul.

Seductive,
Sinister,
Succubus.

Envision the acceleration
Of your heart and mind
As the truth is delivered
Upon you, replacing
Your salvation with a
Glimmer of thought
To inspire you to
Reimagine an existence
Without the excess of a god.
Time, energy, and motion
Becoming interwoven as you
Refocus on a new existence
Where you don't *******
Squander away your time
Worshipping false idols
Warning you against
Worshipping false idols.
When armed with a thought,
The creation of a
Revised world isn't
Such a foreign concept,
But an attainable reality.
Strive for a redefinition
Of the corrupt system
For in action, change
Can be forced on
The unwilling establishment.
Abandon the petty squabbles,
Brother against brother
Over an imagined salvation
Leading only to extermination.
Realign your thought process
And adjust to a world where
Brother allied with brother
Fight for the freedom
From class division,
From monetary idealism,
And from religious ideology  
Picture an existence
Where we no longer divide
But combine to form
A unification
Of revolution.

Like a rock immobilized,
Even breathing had
Escaped me. I tried
To cry out but only
A whimper came about.
Shyly she sauntered so
Close to me, smiling from
Such a seductive scent.
The bewilderment
Of my heart,
Thrown off script.
Sighed did I,
As she left my eye
Headed to some class.
A campus can be
Quite the cruel place.

It flashes by me,
Deep in the night
Filling me with fright.
But then,
I behold.
It's beauty is
Unearthly and yet,
So very natural,
And Earthly.It's
Power
Fierce. A stallion,
Proud and majestic,
Flying through
The night leaving nothing
But a flash and roar. 
I fall to the ground,
Overcome with awe.
But alas, for beauty,
Is only in the eye of
The beholder, I.

In the woods,
A man built a cabin
So he could live
Freely from the trees.
His child died at sixteen.

His grandson was poor,
He sold the cabin for crumbs.
The buyer cut down
Every tree for miles
So he could live
Freely and safely.

His son wanted more.
He made the cabin a mall,
And put beetles in all
Of the trees left,
So he could live
Enslaved in fear
And in greed.

I am Goliath!
And you will not survive!
I am the World Eater
And there is no David.
I was conceived by minds
More advanced than you are
Capable of comprehending,
With the sole purpose of
Complete and utter annihilation.
I am the Star Crusher
Your sun is feeble in comparison
To the first stars I destroyed,
And this planet is minuscule,
Insignificant to all of time.
I am Goliath!
No entity is capable of
Conquering me for I am
The sole Conqueror of Time.
Get on your knees and
Clasp your hands,
For the final moments of life.
I will not be merciful.
The execution of Earth,
The ignorant planet of faith,
Will be total in completion.
I am Goliath!
After the demise of your world,
I will reveal the undeniable truth
When you are obliterated.
Death is final.
There is no afterlife, no heaven.
But this is hell for you,
As I gleefully devour all
Of humanity.

At a crossroads we write the left
Unburdened and unabashed, we are felt!
As a clumsy hand balancing tarnished copper
But we think it brass and boldly she calls
"Sit for this metallic weight is straining!"
On words we wonder, curious what lies behind.
The ground at our zenith, no wonder
We mislabel worms as stars, praise them great,
Quaking creeks sound as ants in our clogged ears.
"Uncork your wines, fellows; age more yields grey
Though we feel it golden."

There exists a monster
Called The Jeweler.
Everything she sees has
A price tag attached
With a superficial value
Stamped on.
The lenses placed over her
Since the day she was born
Have corrupted all purity.
Forever complimented on
Appearances and mocked for thought,
She believes herself to be
Perfectly normal
Judging every living creature
For beauty and value.
Stars in the sky are meaningless
Like the grades from school,
She only wants materials
For improving her station.
From the boy down the street
To the Prada bag in hand,
Nothing worthwhile is free.
The only pleasure she knows
Is derived from an illusion
Of being a princess.
She is cold and calculating,
Countless crushed hearts
Have been left behind her
And she smiles fondly
At every tear she extracted.
Tragedy is her destiny
Do we blame the product
Or the ****** up society
Producing more daily?
The disheartening truth is
She The Jeweler exists
Inside of everyone of us
From you to me and beyond.
So who the **** do we lay
The blame on?
The society or the product?
The society or the product?
******* answer me!

My brain was mutilated,
Warped and destroyed,
All at the hands of a child.
I want to rewire,
Write in a better life,
Get the flashes out of head,
Make it all stop,
The urges are overwhelming,
The attacks on my senses
Are making me spiral.
I can't focus on this
With my head stuck in the dark,
And a flashing screen
Embedded into my eyes.
I can't be alone,
I know I will relapse,
I'm fighting this battle,
A war for my sanity.
Outnumbered and against
The over stimulated society,
Victory seems as far away
As Alpha Centauri.
Please just help me,
Help me beat the child,
He is a master of war,
A prodigy of sabotage.
Please, just help me
Defeat my habits,
Exorcise this demon,
So I can finally grow,
So I can finally be a man,
And stop being a child,
Mutilating my mind.

Your misconceived notions,
Are merely reflections
Of a false
Outdated philosophy.
One that has been around
Since long before
Being tan was beautiful.
From a time when
The common man
Was ignorant.
He lacked the knowledge
That we now possess.
He had no Newton,
No electricity
No Information Age.
He believed it
Because he knew
No better than what
He was told to know.
Afraid of everything
No understanding
He was a blind man
Because he was blindfolded
By promises and threats
Of eternity.
Blindfolded by the elite,
Who used it
As a tool for ruling.
Now, even those that
We perceive to be elite
Are blindfolded.
But you do not
Have to be blind.
You exist in
The Information Age.
You can cut it off
And see!
For the very first time.

Words can do little,
Little to describe
These feelings,
But alas I make do
And try my hardest,
To impart to you
The turmoil inside,
Inside of me and my being.
These feelings that rise
Up from my chest,
From the pit of stomach.
They weigh down,
Down on my shoulders
Like anchors from
The ship of death.
They pull me down,
Like chains thrown
By the devil,
Latched on my ankles and neck,
Pulling on me like
A thousand screaming,
Burning souls just
Begging for retribution
But with no one
To smite with vengeance.
They scream at air,
Gasping for revenge.
These feelings,
They burn me like fire,
Fire from a dragon,
Searing my skin,
Turning my entire existence,
Into a pile of ash,
Devoid of meaning
Or purpose.
The way that these feelings
Affect me,
My insides turn and swirl,
Like a tornado
On an empty plain,
Trying to destroy,
But only tossing dust.
I am forever changed,
And you are not.
Walk a mile in my shoes,
And drown in the depth.

Across the room they sat;
Sipping coffee and chatting.
Young, engrossed in each other,
Blind to the bustling cafe around.
But in came a man, maybe a bull;
His breath vanished when he saw her.
Boldly he challenged, "A duel!
For that hand, fair and pure."
At once hushed, we watched;
The challenged stood with pride,
"With sabres; at once!"
Aghast she watched lover and challenger
Take up arms for her favor.
Quick as lightning they began
Dancing with death as wounds developed.
Equal they seemed after countless clangs,
Suddenly slash! A **** grew
Across his throat, red blood sprayed
Spattering the victor; a messy trophy.
The challenger threw his sabre
Into the fresh corpse of his enemy,
"Now where is my fair hand?"
He could not find her amidst the cafe;
She had vanished. Enraged he withdrew
The weapon and impaled himself.
Where had the beauty gone?
Away with the victor true; who?
I, the bystander.

My eyes were opened,
I extracted the reality
Without emotions to
Cloud my visions.
Then I stopped
Taking the pills
To control my feelings,
And I erupted
With hate and rage
Directed at a society
Where the only truth,
Is that nothing is flawless.
I despise your pathetic
Ritualistic tendencies
As your sabotaged with fear.
Eat the body,
Drink the blood,
Keep fueling the flames
Of a controlling fiction,
Infused with false promises
Of glory and redemption.
You and I will take
Two differing paths
Through our trivial time,
But we all end
At the same destination,
Corpses in caskets,
Our paths will be the same.
Until then though
I gave up a sanity
To not just see the truth,
But feel it coursing
In my veins.
Now my blood runs red,
Hot with loathing
For the disgusting multitude
Of blind worshipers.
When I say I can't
******* take it anymore,
Know it's not a joke
And I will die
A victim of misplaced ideals.

Some days everything
Feels so pointless
That I'd just rather
Be a rotting corpse.
But don't you dare
To tell me that I
Have a void in my life
That can only be filled
By God.
That void you speak of
Is the fear of the eternal
And God promises you
An eternal existence
Because you can not handle
The fact that one day
You will be annihilated
Just like everyone else.
You have been fooled
Into believing that your
Finite deeds are worthy
Of either infinite punishment
Or infinite rewards.
But that just makes
Your God morally inferior.
So this void in my life
I have accepted
Because I understand
The finite futility
Of human existence.
I accept that I
Am a mere speck
Of nothing in eternity,
But I give my life meaning
Through interactions with
My fellow humans.
I do not need either
The promise or the threat
Of eternity to make me
Into a moral man.
I am strong enough
To do that myself.
God makes you weak,
Morally you are dependent
On threats of eternal punishment,
Intellectually you are resistant
To truths like evolution  
There is no debate,
Just ancient beliefs
Resisting a shrinking domain
Where it is the final word.
Accept the finite futility
Of your existence and
Embrace the joy
Of living for your fellow man
And not for a drama queen
In the ******* sky.

I wish I could be a star,
So that I could supernova
And catch your eye.
If only for a second,
I would have your
Full, undivided attention.
So don't doubt me
When I say that
I would die for you,
Light up the sky for you,
Rearrange the night
So you would
Acknowledge my existence.
Even if you would
Just end up forgetting me
When it's all said and done,
I would throw it all away
But are you worth it?

I'm sitting outside,
Looking at the skies
When I see the planes
Crisscrossing in the blue,
Leaving trails of white
Making a giant X
Of white in the vast blue,
And I can't help but
To think of you
And remember all we had
And everything we were.
As I listen to pop punk
Remembering high school.
All the girls I thought
I loved and would
Until the end,
But I never ******* did.
So why are you still
The only one that
I can't let go or
Leave behind
In some back spot
Of my mind?
What spell did you cast
On me to make you
So perfect in my eyes?
With your red hair
And glowing green eyes,
Yea I'm trying to forget
Like you did with me.
I'm sitting outside,
Looking at the skies
When I see the planes
Crisscrossing in the blue,
Leaving trails of white
Making a giant X
Of white in the vast blue,
And I can't help but
To think of you
And remember all we had
And everything we were.
So, please just get out
Out of my head
Because I am beyond done
Trying to forget you
And get over your
Perfect self cause
Deep down I know
That you aren't.
I'm not sad anymore,
I'm just done with caring.
But **** nothing is changing.
I'm sitting outside,
Looking at the skies
When I see the planes
Crisscrossing in the blue,
Leaving trails of white
Making a giant X
Of white in the vast blue,
And I can't help but
To think of you
And remember all we had
And everything we were.

The trees will leave; when snow arrives
For all the leaves have already left
While we looked right for the Sun.
Once rays danced through town,
Music was unheard; beatless jigs seemed
Devil wrought and the folk screamed,
"What light are you! to have robbed us
Blind we are not! Bare branches hang
Solemn as gallows overhead; what evil
Replaced the green with red?"
Without pause, the rays swung from
Leafless limb to flowerless stem;
Offended and dignified, the rays parted
Leaving the town behind with haste.
Glad were the simple folk; sad, alone.
The gallows flourished in the dark;
Folkless town the leaves found;
Silent -
               They rotted in ground.

"And said,
'Naked come I
Out of my mother's womb.
And naked shall I
Return thither:
The Lord gave,
And The Lord
Hath taken away;
Blessed be the
Name of The Lord."
Job 1:21
We used to go
To church as
A family,
Down at St. Mark's.
But when Mark died
He became my saint
God hath taken away,
And he gave me
A scar that could
Never heal.
So I left God
To find my way
Without any light.
I am self medicating,
So I can be numb
And be devoid of feeling
When I remember
What The Lord took
Away from me.
On the day I
Graduated and
Saw young men
With smiling fathers,
All I could hear were
The words I would
Never hear.
I'm proud of you, son.
So if I tell you
Not to take it for granted,
Forgive the envy
In my voice,
And the stains
On my cheeks.
I am self medicating,
So I can be numb
And be devoid of feeling
When I remember
What The Lord took
Away from me.
Forgive me for not
Being able to fix a car
Like your father showed you.
Because all I remember
Are the brief flashes
Of a man and his son
Fishing at the river.
By the time he died,
He smoked Marlboros
And used to drive
A ******* Pepsi truck,
Too young to give a ****.
Then a branch broke
And a family was devastated.
I am self medicating,
So I can be numb
And be devoid of feeling
When I remember
What The Lord took
Away from me.
I can't remember
The sound of his voice
And I can't feel the joy
Of having him say
How proud he is
Of what I have become,
Of the man he raised.
I am self medicating,
So I can be numb
And be devoid of feeling
When I remember
What The Lord took
Away from me.
So count your blessings
As I flush the pills
Because I'm fifteen
Fathoms deep, and counting
As I try to remember
The sound of his voice
And what The Lord took
Away from me.
If I thought
That there was
An afterlife where
I could meet him,
I would be flushing
My life instead of pills.
The Lord hath taken.

White walls
white halls,
Hospital or
Residence hall?

Screaming, crying,
moaning -
All echo from
each room.

What is perfection
other than a reflection
of desires accompanied
by petty blindness
to the off-color hues?

I feel a criminal -
For the dynamic intrusion of existing by myself forced upon this nature - conqueror ****** the child of his first **** -

But the sky shines,
splaying us with light
so we may live.

Desperately and frantically,
Grasping on to the
Wisps of every single
Fading memory, and
Struggling to internalize
And remember every
Passing
Moment.
Tick tock
Goes the clock. 
Life feels like a flash,
A vicious dash,
Towards some unknown,
Meaningless end.
I guess to understand
The brevity of life
From such an early age,
Is to be an old soul,
Full of rage at the
Unceasingly increasing toll
Of treasuring every moment.
Tick tock
Goes the clock.
Tick tock.
Tick.
Tock.
Then I'm just a rock..

Can you dissect my words
To discover a theme?
If not, let me make it
Very clear and precise.
I think you're all
A bunch of fools,
Herded into outdated beliefs,
Proud of your ignorance.
Despised by the enlightened
People like you make
People like me want to
Annihilate civilization
To start anew on a clean slate.
I'm done being nice about it,
Trying to sugarcoat my words
And hide the venom in my voice.
I won't waste my time
Trying to teach you
Reason, logic, and how
To ******* think for yourself.
Instead I will channel my rage
At your pathetic institution
Into a simple message.
I hate you.
You have ruined
The course of human history,
The Dark Ages took us all back
A couple hundred years.
Generations wasted in a time
When the church ruled the land.
The day we watch everything
And everyone we love,
Be destroyed by whatever
Catastrophe is coming,
I hope you all know
That our impending doom
Was continuously aided
By the waste of resources
On appeasing a man in the sky.
So **** Christ our savior,
He died on the cross
Not for our salvation,
But as a ******* promise
To all of humankind
That we are doomed by faith.
Let me reiterate my point,
To every church and
To every god fearing human,
Whatever the god,
I hate you.

As I stood there,
On a grave in the cemetery
On top of the hill
By my dorm home,
I stared at the twinkling
Of the lights across town,
And of the cars driving
Down the winding mountains.
It was a cold February morning,
When I felt the wind on my face
Standing in the cemetery.
I watched the white mountains,
Glowing with the moonlight
Reflected off the blanket of snow,
And as I watched the flurries
I remembered the sorrow
Of yesterday's sunset.
As I stood there,
In a garden of bodies,
Resting on the shoulders
Of giants long gone,
I stared out into the unflinching,
Lonely night of white and black,
And I wondered what would come
With the hope of sunrise.
Even now after so many moons
Have come and gone,
I can remember the call,
The call of the white mountains
Beckoning me to them
With ominous hope.
So I walk to answer the call,
To find my end in
The white mountains,
So I may join the cemetery
On top of the hill.

When the reduction is redoubled,
An introduction is discovered of the
Determined terms that describe this
White-washed weeping-willow world.
Winter, spring, summer, autumn are
Rendered as enduring lies for
Endearing eyes to deceive fearing wives
Glazed over from being raised under.
A blunder to hear what is true,
Torn asunder I'm left to rue
The rift between my ears and eyes
That cleanly lie to my mind.

I’m just an angry kid,
With all this pent up angst,
Trying to spell it out
For you to understand.
So we can be on the same page
When I toss my hands in the air,
And when I throw my stuff around.
It’s not you, it’s me.
I just gotta split the logs,
And do something to let it all out.
I’m not trying to push you out
When I scream and shout,
I just don’t know how to say
You meant the world to me
And now you’re gone,
But that’s just fine
But I don’t know what to do now,
Now that you’ve left me behind.
The nights are black
And my hands are shaking
Cause it’s ******* cold out.
So I yell at the stars
For being so ******* bright.
Yea, I am heading out of town.
To get away from the
Places we used to go
For our Friday nights,
I just don’t know how to say
You meant the world to me
And now you’re gone,
But that’s just fine
But I don’t know what to do now,
Now that you’ve left me behind.
The nights are black
And my hands are shaking
Cause it’s ******* cold out.
So I yell at the stars
For being so ******* bright.
So try and understand
That this is farewell
From me to you
And from you to me,
I just can’t keep trying
To smile when you’re here,
I just lose my mind
When I see his face

Cause he’s just a better me.
I just don’t know how to say
You meant the world to me
And now you’re gone,
But that’s just fine
But I don’t know what to do now,
Now that you’ve left me behind.
The nights are black
And my hands are shaking
Cause it’s ******* cold out.
So I yell at the stars
For being so ******* bright.
So **** tonight,
And **** your favorite place,
I threw a rock at your window
To break it open
So you can feel the cold wind
In your room every night
And remember me.

I just can't keep it in,
The monster inside
Is breaking free,
And I am powerless
To contain it.
It overpowers me,
Drives me to commit
Crimes against those
Around me and myself.
I break my arm and
Use the bones to
Stab her eyes out.
Something is wrong with me,
The monster inside is in control
I've lost my sanity,
It's been replaced with
The dark and distorted
As I rip his throat out
And **** on his
Gurgling, dying body.
I am remorseless!
I am a monster beyond
All hope of salvation.
Watch me struggle,
As I watch you die
At it's hands, my hands
Forcing themselves
Into my eyes
I blind myself to my crimes.
I swear it's not my fault,
When the monster is in control,
I'm a murderer, killing myself.
I can feel it now
Destroying what's left of me.
I am a monster,
**** me if you can.
My hands are covered
With the blood of
Every ******* ****
In this building.
Bullets go through me
As they **** me.
I have been hunted,
The monster is expelled.
All that remains is
The mangled corpse
Of a broken man.

As I lay waiting
For sleep to hold me,
I am the Sun King,
Resting in clouds,
Dreaming of thoughts and ideas.
All that I don't want,
At least right now.
I'd rather have them
During the day while
I float in the sky,
Burning trees with
Smiles in my ears
And laughter in my eyes.
I'd rather have them
While I play with
Alice and Dinah the cat,
Bouncing on mushrooms
Through all of Wonderland.
I'd rather have them
While I listen to
John and Paul sing,
And Ringo and George too
As my submarine goes
From sea to sea.
Yes, I'd rather think,
Think these thoughts
At those times than now.
Because right now,
I am the Sun King,
Floating to my bed of clouds,
And these thoughts
Are lead on my feet
And on my soul.
I'll think then,
And dream now.

Two PM on a Saturday,
Stepping into a shower.
Water so hot it feels cold
Running down the
Canyons of my skin.
Weight on shoulders,
The gushing shower head,
Whispering comforts
Creating a sense of peace.
Legs start to ache
As minutes accumulate
Weight becomes stifling,
Sweet shampoo smells sickening,
The shower head warps
Transforming into a snake
Wrapping around my throat.
Peace shatters into panic
As I slice my feet open
On the jagged shards,
Forcing me to collapse.

"It's raining cats and dogs,"
      she said.
      LIAR
I screamed at her

because no cats or devils
fell outside my window
  or I surely would have
my own kitten.

She cried.
      So did I.

Unfocused,
The table appears
    strong
    sturdy.
When a lens
Is placed
Before eye,
The table appears
  rotten
    desecrated.

The infestation
Runs too deep.
Mahogany
Or oak,
The table
Is beyond saving.

Lost in the sea,
Of what's inside,
How could I ever
Blame you for your, ways?
I'm lost and I'm,
Dying to be found.
Where are the faces
That I know?
They have all left me
On the shore of their
Greatness and now
It's time for me to fly
And find the light.
But I can't get out
Of the way.
Lost in the sea,
Of what's inside,
How could I ever
Blame you for your, ways?
I'm lost and I'm,
Dying to be found. .
I'm lost and I'm
Drowning out here,
I need a hero,
I need me.

Clumsily stumbling around,
With two feet dancing poorly,
Awkwardly approaching I,
Force you to feel uncomfortable.
Uncoordinated and frustrating,
You find me so.
Easily, confidently abandoning,
Left behind, left for dead,
Dancing with two left feet,
Positioned by your heart,
To try to catch it.
I am all that’s left here,
Dancing in a darkening room,
Dawning comprehension,
No sunrise to be seen though.
You were right to go,
Needed comfort and the norm,
The standard for easier days.
You are right.
I am left.

We sit on mountains,
Watching the shadows
Of clouds move across
The hills around us.
The sun bounces off
Of her beautiful hair
And reflects her smile
On to me.
So we laugh and smile
Together on a mountain.
Ten years from now,
This will all be a memory
Faded and worn.
It's hard to live
In the moment
When you're caught
Reflecting on the moment.
Run with me,
To the very top,
And we'll forget
Tomorrow for today.
We'll paint each other
And play in the mud.
When we reach the top,
We'll never come back.
We'll die at the peak,
And skip the descent.
Together, forever at the top.
We sit on mountains,
Watching the shadows
Of clouds move across
The hills around us.
The sun bounces off
Of her beautiful hair
And reflects her smile
On to me.
So we laugh and smile
Together on a mountain,
Together, forever at the top.

The sound of your name,
The image of your face,
Fill my being.
They resonate in
the room that is my mind
touching on every memory
that we share.
They reverberate inside
of my rib cage,
echoing the beating
of my heart.
They seep through
all of my limbs
to the tips of my frame,
magnifying every touch
of my fingers and
every bit of my feet
touching the ground.
They give me the energy
to breathe,
to live.