It is quite an event!
Gerry Atric is old enough to know that Joshua Tree isn’t the right guy for Marine Layer. Anyway, she is more interested in Donny Brook, who had just broken up with Dee Ported, for obvious reasons. There they are, carousing on the Sunset Strip: Perry Winkle, Penny Farthing, Miss Understanding and Poppy ****, when who walks in --- Sara N Dippity, with ***** Nilly and Sal Amander, one on each arm!
Now Sara used to be the significant other of Mort Ify, before him, Pete Moss, before him, Charlie Horse and before him, Al Luminum! Go figure. That leaves Tess Osterone who cannot though she tries, attract any of these fine fellows, so she nurses a drink with Terri Ble, and wails about her latest disappointment with Con Descending.
Trying to calm the situation is Herb Tea, but even he ends up having cross words with **** Tatorial, who finally splits with Paddy Wagon in tow and heads over to see Tia Juana, and if they have time, Nan Tucket.
Why General Jive and Warren Peace are huddled has yet to be explained. Oblivious to all of us Mac Aroon and Junior Mints, shared tasty morsels and a libation with Amber Beer.
Preppy dressed Cord Uroy hangs with the stylsh Art Ist, each trying to make a move on Joy D. Vivre, but they are stopped by Moe Mentum , who had the inside track up until Scott Free, Gus To and Juan Derful surround the crowd, each trying to make some time with her.
Consider Lilli Put conversing with Al Falfa, while Rich People and Cord Cutter trying to listen in, but are thwarted by Mari Gold who interfered with that desire as she was shouting epithets at Con Undrum, who doesn’t know what to do. Miss Issippi cruises in and with Molly Fi, who tries to calm the situation. Watching from the corner is Bob Cat, wary of Miss Creant, who is eying him, all while she is being scoped out by Val I Date.
If life is sometimes a desert, Mo Have personifies it; he has his own problems trying to get out of the way of Uri Nalysis, who is just plain trouble. Jonathan Club is his usual convivial self, making conversation with Trey Chrotomy, who keeps clearing his throat. I was amazed to see Leo **** getting dressed down by Dinah Mite, supported in her criticism by Dee Mise.
Let us turn to the artistic arrivals: Marshall Amp and Art Professor, both adding some zest to the gathering, enabled in part by the always attractive Dee Colletage. Bill O’Lading is a bore until he jumps into the drink with Jac Uzzi, accompanied by Nat Ural, as they view the valley below and drink champagne with Elle Vation. Bobbi Pin pops everyone’s balloon by getting wasted and along with Cara Van is asked to leave. But this paled in comparison to Al Abaster attacking Ana Conda for hitting on her significant other, Tom A. Hawk.
Everyone stays away from Hal Itosis except Sue Venir and Mel Lifluos who avoids discussing the obvious. Commiserating and having a bad time are Marg Inal and June Gloom, but then they’re always that way when they get together.
Moving up in the world is Val Et, with her new recruit, Ann Appolis, decked out in a matching outfit with Lily White. Terry Dactl flew in to convince Dee Nial she had a true friend in Mother Nature, but that she should get a second opinion from Al Egory, any to hear what Brandy Alexander had to say as long as she was not slurring her words.
Everybody loves Gus To, he’s so nice to everyone, even the plain Lyn Olium and the depressing Miss Ann Thrope. We aren’t sure what to make of Sal Amander, who seemed a bit slimy, especially coupled with Beau Dacious. What were they up to? Dan Ube engaged Earnest Money to find out. He reported they were going to fleece Dan Druff and Butch Haircut, who should not invest in their hair-brained scheme.
Al Abama buttered up Cy Pres, hoping for some charity, while Minnie Scule and Tara Bite made an unlikely duo. “Respect” said Jen Uflect, that’s what everyone deserves, as she curtsied at the arrival of Caesar Salad. “Ha, ha, ha,” Heidi ** merrily exclaimed, joined by the mysterious I Stanbul. All he did was complain about the political situation.
Mary Me cannot get enough of Al Falfa, though she would have done better with the always engaging Mo Zart. Too bad he is always with Tom Foolery and Cass Anova, both with questionable motives. I know for a fact that Beau Dacious has crashed this party, pretending to have an invite from Des Ire. Outside, mystified by the diverse assemblage stands Papa Razzi, camera in hand. Hal Leluha tries to talk his way in, but gets nowhere is he is not on the list, says party planner Claire Ify. Mel Ifluous, on the other hand, though not an invitee, does get past the velvet rope, which I surmise is because he is with that wealthy Main Liner, Phil Adelphia.
Back inside the party I encounter Lazy Susan having a drink with Bud Weiser. Here’s an unusual assortment: Guy Dance, Major Minor, Hazel Nuts and Scott Free. His choice of clothing questionable, Lee Derhosen paints a pretty picture about his life to Al Fresco, who is dismissive. Maybe that is because Mo Hawk puts him down, but he gets some protection from Val Id. Dee Tatched, never a joiner, talks business with Perry Mutual, who is threatened by his nemesis, Vito Power. Jungle Jim back from his travels, has a new mate, Lazy Susan, she having moved on from Leo ****.
How Riff Raff got an invite is shocking and I hope he will depart soon with Lee Ving, Bob N Weave, and Con Descenion. Louis Ville slugs it out, batting away the negative but truculent comments of Claire Ification. Tim Buktu acts like he is in another country, causing Mort Ified to hang his head, all made worse by the mutterings of Carrie On.
Mentor Ing tries to advise Con Flagration to cool it and is helped by
Dolly Grip and Frank Lee Speaking. Stu Pendus addresses each issue raised by Bill O’ Particulars, but he cannot allay the suspicions of Artie Choke, finally saying he must be in a vegetative state if he cannot understand the implications of what he proposes. Bo Tox just stood there, trying to look good.
The last to leave is Senor Ity. Phil Harmonic and June Bug drive him home where he lives with Dana Point and Sherman Oaks.
I always do word play at the first of the year.