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1.6k · Aug 2017
~ Perpetual love ~
Neha shimoga Aug 2017
The moment when
my heart found you, I
knew I was about to
start a new journey of
falling so hard from the
peak of the mountain
of my unsatisfied dreams.
When I see my reflection
in your pupil I feel aesthetic
as ever.
When our bodies come in
contact there's firework in
my soul forming a comely
galaxy and my mind
chanting only your name.
You take me to the stars
and erase all the tragedy
that was ever written on
my body.
When I see you smile,
Oh baby, it lights up
every lamp in the pathway
to my heart making me the
most delectable person ever.
Every since you walked in,
my heart has forgotten every
pain and is filled with abundant
love.
When you caress my hair, you poison
me with love turning every blue
flower red.
When you tell me you love
me with devotion, my soul
cries out of delectation.
Love is just an understatement
to describe my affection for you.
It's beyond words.
It's beyond all the poems I have
written for you and the poems I
will ever write.
It's beyond my ability to express.
It doesn't sit neatly in between lines
like how poetry does.
Even gazillion pages written
about you would be too less
to express my felicity.
I love you.
It is crazy how you can love a person so much. :') Their happiness becomes yours and so does their sorrow. You get so attached and fall harder everyday. You are ******* in LOVE. It's like an addiction. It's beyond words. It's inexpressible. It's so powerful. So lovely. Completely worthy of taking a bullet for. :''')
1.4k · Apr 2016
Imperfection is beauty
Neha shimoga Apr 2016
Stygian it was when she
looked at her face.
Her mind was angelic
and so was her soul.
Her lips were droughty
and her eyes were
watering.
Scars on her hand
reminded her of her
flagitious battle against
the world.
Every day she hid
herself in the
shadows of the
people who demean and
demote her as their
soul was as black
as hell which
could conceal
all her flaws and imperfections.
She made darkness her home
as the world outside was cruel.
Nobody looked at her for her
celestial soul.
She had forgotten what it was like
to be euphoric.
All the fiendish products she
used to make herself look
beautiful were lying on
the floor.
With empty eyes
and wasted hopes
she walked
towards the mirror but
turned away as she was
Scared to look at herself.
She wore a mask
of makeup everyday
which still didn't satisfy
society's needs.
Perfect skin with no
Flaws was
Considered the new
beauty.
She had a heart made of gold
but no one realised that
appearance is not what
makes someone beautuful
and beauty is always
on the inside and it
begins when you
start being yourself .
We should always be ourselves and never let anyone bring us down. We all have imperfections and that is what makes us beautiful. One should also have an angelic mind and a celestial soul. Beauty is always on the inside. Inner beauty is what matters the most because most of the times looks can be deceiving too. We should always treat everyone equally and make them realize how pretty and special they are cuz everybody is perfect just the way they are. Be-you-tiful and keep smiling :3
1.3k · Feb 2017
~A letter to my loved ones ~
Neha shimoga Feb 2017
Lying down in agony,
Not able to hold this pen.
Not able to write. All my feelings are a
mix just like my drink. A cocktail of all my
feelings will eventually be the death of me.
I never gave much thought about how
I'd die but this is certainly not what
I had on my mind. Cold and barbarous
bullets that you shot from your gun have
penetrated most of their way through
my body. A shiver ran down my
neck as I get up and sit
at the fireplace.
Looking straight into
it, my brain triggers
happiness and reminds
me of my good old days.
How I'd roast marshmallows
above hot coals and how
me and my best friend would set
up tents and play with dolls.
When I was small I would wait for my prince to arrive
on his unicorn from the cloud Kingdom. I would wear my favourite pink frock and a crown and put some lipstick on
and sit at the window waiting
for him to be seen. I always imagined
him to slide down the rainbow
with chocolates and balloons.
Being whisked away to a far
off land and making friends with ponies and fairies was my fantasy.  
At that point of time, I never thought that one day I would stand upon the place where my fantasies and reality collide.
Even though my prince never showed up
I never lost hope. I would smile as my dad would enter my room with chocolates and lift me up high in the air like he has conquered the world.
He has fulfilled every single wish of mine.
He has loved me in a way no one ever has or ever will.
Thinking about it now I realize that I have always been my daddy's princess and nobody can ever take that right away from me.
He has always been my hero.
Those days mint chocolate chip ice cream would fix just about everything and for the pain there would always be my mother's arms.
All the happy times spent with my family and sharing so many unforgettable and sweet memories with my friends makes me want to get back to being a child. I am so grateful to all of those people who have made my childhood.
But the reality here is that people who
Come into our lives change us sometimes for good or bad and it depends on us how we embrace it. I have seen the innocence of young girls being taken away.  Prince charming doesn't really exist but you're you and you have your family and friends to love you.  Stop being upset and stop seeking love in the same direction you lost it. **Be happy.
Something I would write in my old age while taking my last few breaths lol. Nevertheless, better now than later. :D
1.2k · Mar 2016
Ending a chapter
Neha shimoga Mar 2016
I tempestously glanced at your
black, cruel soul
where I no longer
found devotion and grace.
You bit your lips with excitement
and pulled me close to you
using a lace.
I thought you were a work
of art but you made
crooked lines appear on my
heart.
You looked at me with lust
in your eyes and I mistook
it for love.
All you ever wanted to do was
set my body on fire using your
lighter and all I ever wanted
was to love each other so
hard that our atoms get blown
in the form of dust back to the
place from where we came.
But you had other filty things
on your mind that made
me wonder if you were
worth my time.
Your hoodie that once smelt
like your cologne started giving
out a foul smell just like your
nasty soul.
Poor you, you thought that I
was devastated when
your mask fell on the ground
but little did you know I had
already detached you from
my body because you had
turned my body into
a souless
vessel.
You thought that you could
design my catastrophe and tear
my skin apart with your envious
words but I was too strong
and determined to be defeated.
I once thought you had a celestial
mind and an angelic heart but
I didn't realize that you were
pouring salt on my cuts.
I am closing this atrocious
chapter forever and turning
the page because it's easier
to let you go than holding
on to you .
Never let anybody take the spark away from your eyes. If you have been hurt a lot cry a river, build a bridge and get over it. learn to be happy . Move on. It's a  chapter in the book but don't close the book just turn the page cuz something nice will definitely come along and make you happier than you have ever been. Just believe in yourself.
Need your feedbacks. Follow me and I will follow back. Don't forget to favourite it if you can relate. :')
1.2k · Jan 2016
Delinquent
Neha shimoga Jan 2016
My stomach flips
When I think of you.
My head spins,
my hands shake and
my legs palpitate at the
thought of losing you.
I enter my own world
of the blues where the
monody is being played.
I see the Dybbuk with it's
venomous blood thirsty beasts
dancing to the lugubrious ditty
It's a place of hatred and detestation
where love doesn't exist.
A place that's perfect for your
Stygian soul
As soon as I look into the Dybbuk's
red boiling eyes the memories sneak
out of my eyes and roll down my cheeks
The pain I feel is unbearable and inadmissible
And all I can think of is a way to escape
from this love prison.
But oh, I realized a little too late
that you're the king of the sinners
and you turned and twisted my heart
and I'm just another victim of your favourite crime...
1.1k · Jan 2016
~ Smile ~
Neha shimoga Jan 2016
That dusky face
Those dainty dark circles
That celestial mind
And that holy symmetrical, well formed smile can set everything straight and make me glow.
When we collide sparks fly which brings cheeriness and delectation.
And when I look into your bewitching and ravishing eyes that is when I feel forelsket, the beginning of love
My very first poem :')
1.1k · Jan 2016
~ Malignant ~
Neha shimoga Jan 2016
"I can't do this anymore."
She said as she dropped
the razor from her hand.
The cuts on her hand were
as deep as her love for him was.
She sat there weeping all night
thinking of how she could reverse
the time and heal her wounds.
The night was as troglodytic
as her heart.
She clenched her fist tight as she
heard it whisper in her ears.
A very familiar voice but not
palatable to hear.
A voice that sounds like an elegy.
Her world spun at the speed of light
when it said it's stuck to her.
Her hands started trembling as
it was latched onto her.
Nails so long and eyes so red
she couldn't stop the horrendous
voices in her head.
As soon as the firebolt struck
the ground the wolves started
bawling, the fiendish and
diabolical sky started mourning.
All she wanted at that
time was to be free of that
unendurable and inadmissible
pain but the depression which
came in the form of Mephistopheles
did not let her empty her vessel.
As the long abominable and
atrocious night passed she was
found lying on the floor breathing
but not alive.
She was completely shattered and
broken into tiny bits but
with every tiny bit she still
loved him.
That was the night she realized
what it was like to
live with depression.
I have no words.
Need your feedbacks. Please feel free to comment and don't forget to favourite it if you can relate :')
998 · Apr 2016
The chain
Neha shimoga Apr 2016
She sat next to me,
a soulless body.
She hid her face
behind the darkness.
She stretched her
hand and showed
me her scars.
She pulled her
heart out and
kept it right in
front of me.
A heart that
was black
and poisoned by
the dart of phony
love.
I looked into her
agonising eyes,
where the spark
no longer existed
She touched me
by her flaccid
fingers.
My world which
was colourful
became a caliginous
place to live in.
As soon as she
touched me, my
heart started throbbing
And my eyes started bleeding.
I could feel her unendurable
pain .
She had just come out
of a fiendish storm and
was afraid of falling again.
But yet she fell again
for a prince who
came on a white horse.
His tranquilizing words
healed her cuts but
little did she know he was
just another mephistopheles
who came to ruin her.
She thought he would never
hurt her but his actions made
deeper cuts .
She had passed her inadmissible
pain to me which ******
the soul out of my body
leaving an empty mind
and a shattered heart.
The chain had just
Started and I realized that
I was the first one who was
targeted.
She is not afraid of heights, deep water or love . She is afraid of falling, drowning and a broken heart .
957 · Jul 2016
~ Trapped ~
Neha shimoga Jul 2016
I hit the bed hard
in suffocation.
Just one last sight of
you would be my resuscitation.
I layed in an obfuscous
place with a malicious
mind and a heartless
vessel. I heard the heavy
throbbing of my virtuous
heart from a very long
distance. All I wanted
was my heart back
from the beast
with enticing eyes
but a black soul.
My legs started palpitating
when I got up because
the place I was in, was cold.
A place not meant for living
was what I was told.
My weakness was dragging
me down but a part of me
was stolen which had
to be brought back
to get
out of this shuddersome
prison.
I took a step forward and
saw  crooked lines made
of ice forming
on the walls of this
dark place.
I walked a little farther and
saw a little girl weeping.
She touched me and her
past just came in flashes.
Her heart was stolen a
long time back and was
never returned by the beast.
I continued walking and saw
a red bird flying in the dark
inky place.
It was nothing but a part of the beast's heart enjoying by
annihilating and crushing
other's dreams....
As I kept walking farther
I saw a malignant spirit
waiting outside the cage
in which my poor heart
was trapped in.
I ran towards it but the filthy
spirit didn't let me go close
to it.
Just then I realized that I was
in the body of the ugly cold hearted
beast whose soul was the spirit
standing outside the cage and was
not willing to give my heart back.
I was trapped inside the
atrocious place forever.
When we give our heart to somebody special, we have no assurance that it will be safe with them. Some people keep it safe where as some people damage it and break it and it stays with them forever. It is very important to get your precious little heart back from the person in order to move on.
This poem is all about me who wants her heart back . I enter the atramentous body of the human (beast) who stole my heart and never returned it back but I realize that I am not the only victim in this game and my heart is trapped in his body forever.
This poem portrays how cruel his soul is. He has been compared to a mephistopheles as he has crushed and broken a lot of people's dreams. He has no shame and is not capable of falling in love.
941 · Nov 2016
~ Solitary night ~
Neha shimoga Nov 2016
On a moonlit night,
after a long time
the two wanderers finally met.
They shared an extraordinary
bond that held them close.
One with a crushed heart
and the other with a secret.
He wanted to share his
Story and she had a
confession to make.
A rain drop fell
on the ground and
so did a tear that
rolled down her cheek
when she heard his
story.
He had a ******* his
mind who had left
him with deep scars.
Her heart sunk
and all the butterflies
died.
She submerged in her
own pain.
He told her how much
he adored the girl
and how she had
taken over his heart.
The petrichor
lingered in her mind.
The stars skewed.
A dream that turned
cataclysmic affected
every single atom of
her body.
He held her hand tight
and asked her if
she would help him
get through the heinous
storm.
She nodded with a constrained
smile on her face.
He didn't realize how hurt
She was.
Unfortunately, he  was the only
the one who could be a bandaid
and heal her scars.
She remained quiet and swallowed
the words back in.
Her secret remained a
secret which she couldn't
shrive .
It remained enclosed
to the world.
Losing him as a friend was
something she couldn't
afford.
So she just let it die
and bother her inside.
She buried it deep inside
her heart and completely
concealed it where no one
could find it.
But neither of them were at fault.
Both of the wanderers craved
loved on that night.
Sitting so close, fingers interlinked,
they were stuck in an esthetical
mess of love and insanity.
The two paths had
finally met but a night had
never seemed so
Solitudinarian before.
Throwback to that one important night in all of our lives that's impossible to forget.

I don't regret anything. It was just a beautiful memory. Memories are evergreen right?
937 · Sep 2016
~ Catastrophe ~
Neha shimoga Sep 2016
Tick tock tick tock
The clock struck
twelve.
She clutched her pillow
tight.
All the fiendish voices
in her head and the
Unforgettable memories
lingered in her mind.
His dulcet and enticing
face, she remembered.
It had been a year
and still found herself
struggling
to get over that
direful and painful
incident.
How could she forget ?
That night , when she prepared
scrumptious food and
arranged a candle light
dinner with a mellifluous
melody to dance to.
And a bottle of champagne.
Everything so perfect
and dreamy.
She waited desperately
for him to arrive in
his car.
It was thirty minutes
past twelve.
She bit her nails
in agitation .
The bell rang
and she rushed
to open the door.
He stood there
sparkling, shining.
He looked beautiful
nearly beyond belief
He entered and
held her waist ,
her hand
and they danced
dreamily on
the resplendent
melody.
A knock on the door
Interrupted their dance.
She wondered who
it could be at this
hour  .
She opened the door
and to her surprise
she saw cops with
flowers and chocolates
in their hands.
The cop reached his
pocket and pulled
a photograph out.
Her hands and legs
started trembling
when she saw the photo.
It was his photo with
blood all over his face
and his body.
She couldn't believe.
She rushed into
the house that was
now lonely.
There was no sign
of him..
She screamed
on top of her
lungs as she
had lost him and
there was no way of
getting him back.
Was it her imagination?
Or did it actually happen?
His car met with an
accident due
to the failure of the brakes
the cops explained.
They handed
the flowers and chocolates
to her.
Her address written on
them made sure it reached
her.
Tears rolled down her
cheeks as she sat there
mourning.
He was gone. All he
left behind was the pain
she had to live with.
She never thought that
this one night could change
her life drastically.
She looked up at the
sky.
The sky looked tragically
beautiful like a grave yard
of stars.
She noticed one star that
that shined the brightest.
With the smallest crescent moon
of a smile on
her testrained face, she thought
that he had always been the
brightest star in her
sky.
How deep is your love ? :')
Can it be expressed in words ?
No it cannot be.
Things always don't go as we plan. But there is nothing more powerful than true love. In this poem, I have described the power of true love.
936 · Mar 2017
~ Misery ~
Neha shimoga Mar 2017
Ephemeral** euphoria
and abandoned memories.
These stains on my paper will
explain a lot more than my
poems ever will.
Left alone in the midst of this
troubled mind where once everything
swayed to the rhythm of my heart beat.
The tear sits at the corner of the eye wanting to roll down the cheek.
But how menacing would it be
if it rolled down ? I would be called a weak
hearted sensitive human.
Understanding my poor heart's misery isn't something that I could accomplish over the years.
Knives in my back and unexplained reasons for departure have nearly suffocated my existence.
How easy is it for somebody to just leave you behind after building up your castle of dreams brick by brick? How easy is  it for your own people to bail on you? Living in uncertainties I have always learnt to sacrifice my happiness thinking that something better would come along. But all that comes along is disappointment. A sense of satisfaction is what I am lacking at this point and I don't know if my heart would ever be satisfied after all that it has been through. My life's like an incomplete jigsaw puzzle where pieces simply don't seem to fit. Why is it that the blame is always on me for everything I do ? Yes, I get attached ******. Yes, my heart falls too hard. Yes, my heart feels too much. Yes, I am emotional. It's not something in my hands. Stop asking me to change myself. There's nothing wrong with having a deep heart. There will be times when the pain would be immense but you have to live through it. Betrayals will find their way through and happiness will be taken away.
But you have to face it.
I honestly don't know how to create my own happiness because I tend to find my happiness in others. But nobody remains constant. People leave. People change. Some bring in delectation and some bring in agony and it depends on us how we take it. We have to learn to let few things go. I still haven't reached that stage or maybe that maturity where I'll be able to accept things and learn to adjust. But I surely know everything heals. The cuts heal but the scars remain which remind me of the battles I have been in and tell me how strong I am to embrace the pain and **** my misery.
It's okay not to be okay. Don't ever apologize for the very individual you are. All that is needed is a little bit of positivity. A little hope that helps you hold on.
The best is yet to come. :')

Pure feelings.
896 · Dec 2016
~ Done and dusted ~
Neha shimoga Dec 2016
Your pleasing melody turned
in to an awful ditty.
That is when I realized it was
time, it was time to let it go.
You had turned my butterflies
blue. The stars in my sky skewed.
I grabbed an old soiled bag
from the closet that
was untouched.
I walked out of the dingy room,
that had been my home for years.
Home? I questioned myself.
How could that be my home
when the demon woke me up
with new scars everyday?
I continued walking.
The air was filled with the smell
of a stale heart along with
which came the first memory.
To where it all started.
I took it and put in my bag.
I ran down the stairs and found
another one under the table.
Caught hold of it and stuffed
it in the bag too.
Millions of
abominable voices
in my head and bleeding
hands couldn't stop me.
I entered an old room.
I walked towards the
mirror on the wall behind
blue drapes.
No reflection, but it
showed me what I
didn't want to see.
It didn't perturb me.
I was impregnable and
determined.
I closed the curtains
and locked the mirror
in the room forever.
By the time I reached the
main door I had captured
all of the wrinkled memories
and fiendish whispers in
my bag.
The ditty had stopped playing
and the stars aligned.
I had to get rid of those.
I lit my last matchstick
and set the heavy bag
on fire.
I burnt it down which burnt
the thirst for eleutheromania.
I opened the main door and
moved on.
I was out of the doorway and
made sure that I was never
getting back to my old ways.
It is high time to realize that listening to the same lugubrious ditty is only going to destroy you atom by atom.
Memories are evergreen and in order to move on you have to get rid of them and look forward to make better ones with better people.
I am done. I am exhausted of playing this game over and over again where you make me feel like I am the one and the next moment you just ignore my entire existence. I need the love that I think I deserve.
I am not going to look back ever again. I have burned them down and I am also out of the house in which I was trapped in for years.
That house is nothing but your body. I am out
881 · Feb 2017
~ A message ~
Neha shimoga Feb 2017
Just one of those nights when I am pouring out but cannot find the exact words to put my thoughts in. The stars collide with my thoughts turning my atoms into dust that has probably snuck into your skin. Oh, how it felt to make a promise with a new heart and to adapt your ways and words. I just need you at this very moment because you are my poetry now and without you I am merely words. When I first spoke to you I had no words to express my felicity. You made me realize that I am capable of falling in love again. The book of my past had turned toxic and had to be thrown away as turning the page wouldn't work. That's when it struck me that the poison flowing from my past towards my future can only be brought to an end by burning all the memories and shutting it completely out of my body. It was hard as I was holding on to the broken strands of the thread that connected to my past. This time it wasn't my heart forcing me to hold on but my mind that had trapped all your incomplete words and wasted hopes. I had to let go and help myself climb up the cliff that I had been thrown off. I was so young when the pain had begun. And I am still forever afraid of being loved but I have to put my guard down just to let you in. You entered my life when I least expected and at times made me feel like the happiest person alive. I honestly don't know what your intentions are right now but I honestly love talking to you. After all that I have been through, my heart chose to fall again and it chose you. I don't know how you feel about it but you are very important to me and I know you know it. I am feeling this way after a long time. I am writing this just in the hope that my heart doesn't get shattered again.
I have let go ! Have you ?
...

I cannot thank you enough !
876 · Nov 2016
~ Unforgettable you ~
Neha shimoga Nov 2016
You lay there missing her,
I lay here missing you.
My mind gets flushed
by all the boggling
memories.
They linger in my
caliginous mind .
I miss being in the
ecstatic state and
also the butterflies
you gave me.
My cheeks which  
used to turn crimson
red now look pale
with no blood rushing
through them.
Your atramentous
enticing eyes hold
all my dreams and wishes.
They make me believe
that magic exists and
so does delectation.
You have cast an
irreversible and
unbreakable spell
on me which makes
me wanna hold
on to you.
You are as addictive
as lithium and
as gorgeous as
a free enlightened
soul.
You are my only
antidote that can
bring me back
to life.
Your atoms have
collided with mine
and are creating a
new galaxy.
No matter what
but you are that one
star in my sky that is
impossible to forget
because the merriness
I get when I look at your
empyrean face cannot be
compared to any other
happiness in the entire
galaxy.
You will always shine
the brightest in my
obsidian sky.
This is a personal poem I wrote a long time back. This is pretty self explanatory and I never thought of posting this as it was something I didn't want to share. I didn't want people to know what weakness WAS.
Things have changed and poetry is all about penning your thoughts down. I don't want anything to hold me back.
764 · Jan 2018
~ Elixir ~
Neha shimoga Jan 2018
First time in a while
I wanted to hold my
pen and stop the pain.
I realised I had to
write just to be sane.
It's not your fault. It's
mine. Now it may take
an eternity to just be
fine. For my words
will always be the best
companion and sustain
all the tantrums I throw.
Aggression, euphoria,
despondency and what
not. I would be caught
in the life's web
if it weren't for
my words. I cried, I
died, nothing could bring
me back to life. I was so
scared to write my feelings
down. Fearful of the consequences.
Fearful of the noise in my head
and the thoughts that capture
my mind. Afraid of having the
negativity in my head, I gave
up writing. Yet now I speak
in a remorseful tone that it's
never left me. It's been housing
my soul for years and I have been
dwelling on the walls of yesterday.
They say everything is changed,
but certainly I haven't. They say
weak, I say sensitive. They say
unstable I say emotional. I tried
to understand the universe in my
way but there's a whole **** universe
living inside of me. How do I fight that?
I don't see myself fitting with the most
of them. I feel upset. I cry and no
it's not going to stop. I don't
think crying makes you weak
and vulnerable. It's a way of expressing.
Every drop of tear has a story and reason
living in it. It rolls down unburdening
your heart and falls with a splash
on the ground. It's what we hold inside
and let it out. Never be sorry for it.
Since the world doesn't
seem to understand
my sensitive heart I have
always taken to writing because
no one objects a poem but
a crying face always turns into a
debatable topic.
It's okay to not be okay. It's okay to cry cuz it makes you feel alive. You are not alone. It's okay to ask for help and never apologise for being the real you.
739 · Jan 2016
Palate
Neha shimoga Jan 2016
That angelic smile.
That evil heart
That beautiful mind
When you touched me your
atoms snuck into my skin.
I still smell you in my hair and in
my clothes. How can I forget that
essence when everything I do just
reminds me of you. I catch myself
Simper and dancing to your assonance
You hit me like ocean waves
And you've flooded my heart with
ebullience and enthusiasm..
I'm ready to shed all my skin to the very bone
beneath it and lay
my heart down underneath yours
just to show you
how much I adore you..
But I know it's not going to bother you
because of the vivacity
on your face when I see her existing in
your dreams.
733 · Nov 2016
~ Thank you ~
Neha shimoga Nov 2016
You've destroyed me in every
beautiful way possible.
Ripped me like your
torn up jeans and
shredded my heart
in to tiny bits.
You were a stubborn  
mess.
I tried so hard.
But you were
hopeless.
You entered like a tornado,
And I thought
you were a blessing.  
But little did I know
that you were meant
to be just a lesson
in my life.
Your love was like
water.
I drowned in it and
And couldn't live without it.
But what did you do?
Just flowed out of my
life like all of it never
happened.
Didn't know the flashbacks
and memories would
slowly creep in to my life
and bother me.
I know I shouldn't
be writing this.
But I wouldn't have
been where I am today
without all those heartbreaks.
At some point I wasn't
ready to accept the fact
that you weren't mine.
I agree I have acted
like an immature brat
but honestly I couldn't
have asked for a better
teacher.
I have learnt how to fake
a smile and deal with sorrow.
I have learnt to live with
the pain and the unrecoverable
breathless moments.
I have been done and dusted,
I know an old chapter,
I ain't the reason behind
your smile anymore.
You went teaching me
a lot of things.
I didn't realize until
I had completely
fallen.
Well, my mistake.
Stupid heart.
Now you know my
pumping machine, how
mordacious
falling in love could be.
Thank you for all the
damage and making
me wiser.
I know it has been really long since I posted something. I will try posting regularly. :))

Anyways, this poem is a quick reminder to all of you out there. Start taking things positively. If your heart has been broken then just embrace the pain and take it as a lesson. Don't try to suppress your feelings. You are allowed to feel sad. You are allowed to break down but make sure you dont make it last too long. Get over it. You will find someone way better. Someone who understands you and gets you. Someone, who wouldn't leave your side ever. So just let go your past and make space for what's coming. Not everybody is serious when it comes to relationships. Some people take it for granted and some people just cut in between and move on.  They don't even have the will to hold on. Even if there are millions of reasons to give up, love always finds one reason to hold on.  So just take it as a lesson and choose wisely who you open up to.
732 · Jan 2017
**~ First things first ~**
Neha shimoga Jan 2017
// I shed a lot of tears today. I am not going to lie. Although, it's been a while my heart still sobs at the thought of your name. I've lost so much trying to win you. Trying to achieve you. Trying to conquer you. Most importantly, I have lost myself. The broken pieces of my heart are still trying to fix themselves back. Thinking about it now, I realize that I had completely placed my self aside and paid no attention to the scathe you were causing to my body. There was no other pain greater than your despondency. I adored you a lot. You asked me what it was that I had for you and I failed to put it in words back then which I rue a lot. What I had for you was sacrificial, ferocious, wild and untamed filled with devotion and grace. Some people experience their first love at a very young age and it feels like one heck of a gaiety doesn't it? I did too. But you kept stabbing my heart with your unfermented words and abhorrent actions and let sadness embrace me. My little pumping machine got scarred for life as I let you take advantage of my kindness. I kept quiet hoping that you would realize my worth and run back to me. Stupid wasn't I ? There was a time when I didn't want to wake up in the morning. The sunlight would burn my eyes which had turned red due to weeping all night. I would snuggle into my blanket not wanting to get off the bed. Not wanting to face the world without you. It's said that every individual leaves a mark. You certainly did. But on my heart. Even though the cuts have healed and I feel happier than I have ever been the scars still remain. All the pastoral memories seem odious as they make me realize that you are not a part of my life anymore. Memories do slowly creep in at times and it's hard to forget them too. They pop up from nowhere even while taking a class or just when I am hanging out with friends. I guess it will still take a while to overcome those. I don't want you now. But I know at the age of eighty I'd be sitting on my favourite chair waiting for death to embrace me and hoping that atleast we would end up together in a parallel universe.
Maybe you wouldn't **** up in the parallel universe. Maybe you'd treat me right. Maybe you'd realize my worth and give me the love that I had been craving. Maybe we'd be happy. Maybe my day dreams would turn into reality. Maybe I wouldn't look for you in the stars.  





^ It's been a year since I wrote it. Just thought it would be nice to share it. I hold no grudges against anything :)
708 · Jan 2016
Moving on..
Neha shimoga Jan 2016
The congenial and amusing essence of the grass fills my mind with freshness and newness             
I  lay on the cozy, cushy meadow as I look at the empyrean sky.
The stars shine just as bright as a happy smile that's seen very rarely in this hoggish and egoistic world.
I close my eyes and picture the rapturous sky.
My mind flushes the Stygian sky with colours. A little red from the right and a little blue from the left.
As soon as the colours collide the sky turns lilac.
I see myself struggling to get up to fly in that dazzling lilac sky as my legs are tied to the chains which are buried deep inside the earth where the Satan lives.
I cry as I feel the Satan pulling me down.
Just then I realized that holding on  to the unchangeable past serves no purpose and will never let me reveal the mysteries of tomorrow.
Moving on can be very diffucult. But realizing that it's time to move on can be more tough and confusing. Stop trying to hold on to your past. The more and more you think about your past the more it'll sink into you and make you suffer. There are many other beautiful things waiting in your life ahead.
This poem is about me where I am struggling to move on but realized that it was a little too late as I have wasted too much time thinking about my past and now it's not letting me go.
707 · Nov 2016
~ I, me and myself ~
Neha shimoga Nov 2016
You are an angel.
A blazing firework
in the crepuscular
sky.
You are strong and
every inch of you
is a piece of art.
You have been gracefully
drawn by the hands
of the creator.
You are the painter
of your dreams.
Your lustrous eyes
and your serene
smile light up the
Sky.
They give the stars
the power to shine.
Your soul is made up
of glitter and star dust.
You are unique, different and
you have your own identity.
Your soul is royalty.
You are a queen of the kingdom
in the clouds and your crown isn't on
your head but is in your soul.
You can get through this.
You carry a sassy personality.
Smart, dignified and soigne
are the things that
define you.
You rock this dress and
you hair is on fleek.
Your eyebrows need not be
filled and your pimples
need not be hidden.
Just embrace what you are.
Bliss is your second name
and making people
happy around you
is your only motto.
Your imperfections
are flawless and all
your curves and edges
are perfect.
Your body ain't no toy.
and weight is just a number.
Don't be so ******* your self.
You are worth it and you can
get through this nightmare.
She said these words out
loud as she was standing
in mirror with
her heading confidence.
I tried something different. Just a self motivating poem for all the girls out there!
These are the things we generally don't say out aloud because we feel that society would judge us. They would call us selfish. But who gives a ****? Just be yourself and **** the haters. Life is too short to pretend to be something you are not.  Each and every girl is beautiful . Just embrace the glorious mess that you are and love yourself ! Be confidence, happiness means loving yourself and being less concerned about the approval of others.
Do compliment yourself daily because you are worth it. Loving yourself isn't selfish. It just means that your happiness is your first priority and there is nothing wrong about it. It's absolutely right. You are perfect just the way you are. Your flaws make you nothing but pretty !
Have a nice day lovelies !
694 · Jun 2017
~ Beginnings ~
Neha shimoga Jun 2017
Every inch of this universe seems gloomy without you
and your name resides 
in every atom of my body. 
My heart teeming with so 
much love to give I don't 
think I can ever have enough
of you. All the drugs turn otiose 
in comparison to you. 
Stay here wrapped up in my arms
and let the synchronization of 
our heart beats be the only rhythm 
we dance on. Let the stars lean down 
and waves flood the shore. Let the moon
lose it's light and the sun, it's warmth. 
Just spin with me in this paradise 
of insanity and love. It ain't the ordinary 
feeling but a strong  enraptured feeling you give me when I look in to your assuasive​ eyes.
Your touch brings in delectation 
blooming every flower at my feet, 
lighting every candle in my life. 
Stay here as all our sorrow drown 
in this aesthetical night. Let me sink into 
those eyes and love you with every ounce.
Give me all your attention. Give me all your pain. Give me all your ailments for you no
longer have to bear them alone. Let my voice guide you home and keep you safe.
The heart that you have given me is my elixir. 
Allow me to give you all I have as
my heart has chosen you and only you. 
On this very galvanizing night I have 
fallen yet again only if you knew.
A contradiction to my previous poem. Feelings change. Your heart moves on. Time heals. The perfect one walks in then you find yourself being loved beneath billions of stars.
662 · Nov 2016
~ WHY ~
Neha shimoga Nov 2016
Reminiscing on my past.
Why didn't you text?
A simple message
would have made my
day beautiful.
What is that has been
left unfinished that
you still appear in my
dreams?
Why is it still a pleasure
to think about your
celestial face?
Why do I still meander
that you are going to run
back to me and apologize
for everything you have done?
Why am I so lonely without you?
Why do I try to find you in every
single boy I meet?
Why does your assonance still
play in my head?
Why do I look up at the sky
full of stars and think of you?
Why do I still love you
so irrevocably
and unconditionally?
Why do I still get butterflies
when someone takes your
empyrean name?
What is this unfinished business
left between both of us
that makes me smile like
I have conquered your heart?
Absence of you
has made my life troglodytic.
You are the light that can enlighten
my tenebrous soul.
We're on the last chapter and
it's not you who is going
to continue
to write this ambiguous book.
I have the pen and I shall turn
it into a day dream that I wish
everyday comes true.
Tell me what these dreams I get everyday are all about? No matter how much ever I convince myself that I have moved on my eyes still look for you in the darkness and I try to look for you in every guy I meet.
I don't understand. We have an unfinished business. Maybe it was meant to be but something went wrong.



Well I wrote all that a long time ago and I have moved on. But I am still trying to figure out what went wrong. :P :P
Hope y'all like it. :)
656 · Jul 2017
~ Resurrection ~
Neha shimoga Jul 2017
You were silhouetted against
the dimming sky.
I paused right there to admire
the beauty.
A perfect blend of feelings
coursing through my veins.
A love, so pure washed away
the sorrows of yesterday.
I knew the day I had met
you it would be the last time
I would ever sing a monody,
I would ever write a tragedy
again.  
Sent for me, beautifully
carved by the hands of the
creator, you had me starstruck
at the very first sight.
I will write you until your
heart is filled with my words.
Until my body is dusted
and every bone is broken.
Wrap me up in your arms
as I look in to your star like
eyes, I will love you with
every ounce in every life
no matter
how many times I die. ✨
My love for you cannot be measured. It's irrational and never ending.
653 · Nov 2016
~ Pain ~
Neha shimoga Nov 2016
A strong rhapsodic feeling
when your face just pops
up for the billionth time.
Emotions just find their way
through and along with it
comes the impermissible pain.
I have started to find pleasure
in pain.
Dancing with the execrable
devil, bare footed on the pieces
of broken glass gets me high
on the poison my soul's dripping.
Reminds me how the wine in the
bottle was replaced with blood
and the scars you left on my
body remained untouched.
The night when I saw fire
in your eyes a feeling was born.
A feeling that brought excruciating
pain.
Fire in your eyes and stars in mine,
we overdosed on ****. We danced
all night on the dolorous monody
and bled to death.
Death was only the beginning,
the beginning of pain.
Sitting in a stygian place trying
to find a way to reach your ******
soul, I denied heaven.
I walked alone on the path that
led to you. That led to hell.
Loving you was wrong. It was
painful. It stung me and injected
venom into every single atom
of mine.
Pain o pain you have never left
my side, all the roses in my
hair have wilted and the violets
have died.
Just leave me alone. Just leave me
alone.
Find a love, that's not painful. Love is like a plant. Nourish it, make it grow , water it daily and expose it to the sunlight. Don't let it die. :)))
Hope you guys like my poem !
617 · Jan 2017
~ Let it go ~
Neha shimoga Jan 2017
"Time heals everything." you said. It was easy for you wasn't it ? To just spit those words out. No you weren't wrong. But it takes time. Healing is messy. A soul that was once attached has to now detach itself from the other soul. Well, time does heal. Your heart gets tired of feeling heinous, feeling worthless and sad all the time. It decides to let go as it no longer can take it. Have you ever questioned your little heart how much pain it has been through? The pain never ends if you're still holding on when you know you shouldn't be. The pain feeds off your memories. It just gets stronger day by day. //
Everything seems fine until somebody takes your name. The name that ran in my veins once. The name my day started and ended with. The name that meant so much to me. It's more or less like we never happened.  It was just a semblance I imagined it to be. But when I think about you now it feels deplorable. You turned and twisted my heart. I mistook  you to be artless but you knew what you were doing. You knew I was into you. Very much into you. Although you didn't feel the same you kept leading me on. Why? Just why?  You broke my tiny heart before I could even hold you in my arms. I don't know what your intentions were but it was evident from the scars on my body and the knife in your hand that you were just slowly killing me. I thought you were not stable and needed more love. My brain refused but my heart was stubborn. I started thinking with my heart. My heart was so kind and naive. I gave you my everything without asking anything in return. I always wanted the best for you. That's the reason I have never been satisfied in love. How could you even say you loved me when you never did? Did it never bug you ? Didn't you realize that you were making a promise with someone else's heart? My fault. Didn't know a person who looked so much like an angel would turn out to be the devil. It was like a hurricane wrapped inside a chrysalis.
612 · Jun 2017
~ Re - visiting ~
Neha shimoga Jun 2017
When it just doesn't feel
home. When elation feels
out of the place. Here, I am
back again standing all alone
at the doorstep where seldom
people come. Just wrap me up
in your arms as your warmth is
greater than a bonfire's . The flashback
strikes, how the fumes of the bonfire
on that very troglodytic night burnt
my soul down and snatched away
my bundle of joy. Intemperate outbursts
of these flashbacks slowly creep in
as I ring the doorbell. I hear the pernicious
yet comforting footsteps.
With a warm smile on your face
you welcome me and stretch your
long hands to consume me.
So consoling. I know your
presence makes me feel
atrocious. I know I shouldn't
be meeting you again. You're
none other than the thing
that people fear. You're pain.
Eating away my happiness you
embrace me with sadness. Satisfaction
descends as I finally get what I deserve.
Happiness is not meant for me. I have found my home in sadness. Getting hurt
and heartaches are all that I have
experienced so far and I have realized
no matter how much happy I get, pain
always finds ways that keep me re-visiting  because let's be honest who knows me
the best? Pain or happiness?
This is what happens when people spend just too much time in sadness. You've got so used to being sad that when finally happiness comes along you think that it's out of place. It doesn't feel right being happy. It feels strange.


Get this feeling right out of your head because you deserve more than just what you have right now. You deserve all the happiness in the world. All the joy. Accept better things in life. Think positive always. The more you think positive the more you'll have positivity around you. Be healthy, be happy. :D
606 · Oct 2017
~ Cheater ~
Neha shimoga Oct 2017
Staring right in to this
paper for days. I thought I had
lost my ability to write.
My ability to express.
A gift that I took for granted.
My feelings were just trapped
inside the cage and needed
to escape and soar high.
I couldn't bring myself to write
and the thoughts wouldn't
find words to breathe.
There was a thirst. An
aeonian ache. Heavy pounding
of my heart and an uneasy feeling
like my lungs had bronchitis.
My body unsupported the idea
of writing as I could only
write tragedies and the perpetual
pain of my once upon a time
virtuous heart. How could
I cheat on words? They had
always been there for me.
Most importantly there when
I had slit my malevolent heart
and given up.
603 · Aug 2017
~ A misfit ~
Neha shimoga Aug 2017
Rowing my boat
away from a world
where I don't fit in.
Where happiness is
not assured but sadness
is. Where the bullet
shot once cannot be
taken back just like the
words from your
filthy mouth.
Where love is just a
game and is mistaken
for lust. Where hurting
somebody is the new
cool and falling in love
is as easy falling out of
love. How harrowing is
it to watch people in
pain and yet are being
mistaken for seeking
attention and affection.
Every human needs to
be loved. Hearts break
and never make a sound.
Memories haunt and feelings
change. People leave without
giving the reason for their egress.
Empty promises and shattered
dreams. Wasted hopes and
everlasting pain of a rectitude
heart. The problem with people
like me is that we love too hard
and fall too hard. Give all of ours
without expecting even a percent
of affection in return.
But once bruised, fear and trepidation
creep in making us afraid of propinquity.
I turn back just to see the
world disappear as I row my boat.
Thinking about how my reverie
was broken and I was pushed
in to the harsh reality before
my heart could even understand
the relationship between love and pain.
Ignoring the people who are in pain and making them feel worse is horrendous.. Let's all be nice to them and make this world a better place to live in. Let's love completely and be loyal. (:


Self explanatory.
600 · Mar 2017
~ I need to love me too ~
Neha shimoga Mar 2017
I had sworn that I would never
let this pop up again in my life.
But this tumultuous mind wouldn't
budge. I was so oblivious to the chaos
you had created. I hadn't realized it until people started pointing out the changes in my behavior. How could I let this happen to me?
It was probably all my fault. I probably spent too much time re-reading our old conversations and maybe lingered on to your musky, heady cologne for too long.
I probably made a big deal out of your little "miss yous" and meetups. Maybe the drunk texts meant nothing. Maybe the chocolates you got me was a friendly gesture. Maybe the fantasies I created with you stayed for too long, just in my head. I construed them to be signs. But somewhere deep down my heart knew that I would have to face the harsh reality.
I don't blame you for blaming everything on me. It was my sheer stupidity to let you turn my world upside down. All my insides ache and my lungs have given out but you still expect me to give you another chance? Not this time. We are done. Infact I was done a long time ago. I know I have been causing more harm to myself than you've. You had your chance but you let go. It is my chance to turn things right. If you can't then I have to. I need to love me too.
Random regrets although it doesn't bother me anymore.
Just reminding myself how strong I am :)
599 · Nov 2017
Stay.
Neha shimoga Nov 2017
The snow starts sticking
to the ground. Nights seem
longer. The ocean seems
more blue. The stars stop
twinkling just like your
eyes. Time stops.
My reflection in your pupil
fades away just like the sweet
scent of your cologne.
Undying melancholy and
a threnody dedicated to
the sky.
Eagles feed on corpses,
I walk on shattered glass
and you walk away.
Blood oozing out of my
wrist, I dry my tears.
A rough road that goes
nowhere. I lose myself
somewhere between
the flashbacks and nugatory
present. A present without
your presence is of no value.
As I wait for the tides to rise
and sweep me out to the sea
I wake up panting heavily just
to find you sleeping next to me.
Another nightmare filled with my
worst fears. Most importantly the
fear of separation.
Fear of losing you.
Every single minute we get closer
to death. Closer to not being
with each other. Closer to turning
into stars. A nightmare, so
strong, delineating
the right emotions
intimidates me about
how long we have
with each other? A forever?
Or just another second?
Time is such a *****.
595 · Apr 2017
~ Ending ~
Neha shimoga Apr 2017
The sky slipped into a
perfect shade of Clementine.
Standing there all alone on the
edge of the cliff wearing a yellow
endearing empire waist dress I had lost myself
somewhere between the sea and
the sunset.
All the water has it's own memory like
how we do and it's always trying to go
back to where it was.
The painful part about memories is
they only leave us wanting more.
I remember looking into your eyes
on the same spot and realized that it
was a sunset on it's own.
The same dress you loved with bright
red lipstick on my lips and my cheeks that'd turn crimson everytime you held my hand.
Now I realize how troglodytic I am
with nothing left but just a confused
state and a perturbed mind.
So incomplete. So exhausted.
I close my eyes and as the water
floods the shore I drown myself
In to another memory.
How I remember that night
when I came home crossing the seven
Seas and the distance between both of us. The ecstacy ran down my neck as I rang the doorbell just to find her entwined in your arms drinking wine from the same glass and sitting on the same couch that
we once sat on. The perplexed look on your face was certainly not what I was expecting.
But every expectation dies when the sun hits the ground.
I could see all my dreams getting lost
in the sea. I turned around took my bag
and with tears in my eyes I walked away.
You came running behind me and pulled me by my dress so hard that a part of the dress tore but I chose not to stay and continued walking.
This dress is still incomplete without that piece just like how I'm incomplete with you.
I open my eyes and just like how a modern fairytale ends I proceeded with my journey
watching the sunset that you had promised we'd watch together trying not to think how your skin felt on mine. Although it was like taking a sip of eternity. The sun, the sky and the water never tasted so good.
Pretty self-explanatory.
Feedback needed. :)

PS - Although I said incomplete, I am actually very complete and need no negative vibes.
I am long long over it. :)
558 · Aug 2016
~ Just a dream ~
Neha shimoga Aug 2016
First look, I knew
a spark had grown.
I realized it when
I saw you walking
In the corridor and
that one glance of
you was enough
to transfix me.
Confrontation was
all that needed and
today you wouldn't
have been the poetry
I didn't have to write.
Holding your hand
to tongue kissing
under the moonlight
to drinking wine would
have been the scene .
Getting high on the streets
and drunk on the mini bars.
Grabbing coffee, star
gazing and looking into
each other's eyes.
Platinum rings and that
irreplaceable smile of yours
would have been my serenity.
Beguiling face , didn't know you
would just poison my mind, you're
like a drug to me and loving you is
my addiction.
There doesn't go a day by,
Where I don't think about
you.
But everything's ephemeral
and momentary.
Forever doesn't exist
because you don't exist
in my fantasy world.
but it's she who exists
in your world
and if she can put a
beatific and serene
curve on your face
then I am happy for
you.
I know I am late and I have
to accept my fate.
Just one word and
you wouldn't have been
that someone who I thought
I would miss .
When you start developing feelings towards someone, you tend get butterflies in your stomach when they are around or you just get shy and start blushing. It gets very hard to even look at that person's face and you just sit there wondering whether to confess or not because you are scared that they might reject you. But hearts are often broken by words left unspoken. If you like somebody then don't ever hesitate to confess. What worse could happen? And take a chance you never know how beautiful it might turn out to be. Just make sure it doesn't get too late and that person is gone forever. Don't regret it later just because you didn't have the guts to confess your feelings..
"Oops" is always better than "what if"
557 · Feb 2016
Burning love
Neha shimoga Feb 2016
I heard the car leave.
He left with my dreams,
which I still couldn't believe
Incomplete and shattered.
I was sitting in the corner
as the night stole in.
The sky looked as pale as my
face when I looked into
the mirror.
My love for him was
blistering.
It was warm, untamed and
Vehement.
My heart sunk and my
body was floating.
My soul was wondering,
craving his fake love and allegiance.
My heart was filled with poison
and my mind with flashbacks.
He stabbed my heart with his
poisonous malicious words.
He had destroyed the glitter
in my eyes.
I felt used, I was again a
victim of the same game but
this time I heard him screaming
her name.
Before I could take a step back
he had captured most of my heart
and poisoned it with his phony love.
The cologne of his shirt and the song
he sang that only I could hear
kept lingering in my mind.
How could I let him go when
he looked so much like an
angel?
He had a smile that could light
up my entire world but his
poweful heinous words broke
the ***** that pumped my blood.
He left peacully and quietly
smoking his last
cigarette setting my world on
fire.
And I sat there admiring the
beauty of the view that was
burning.
When that one special person leaves your life you feel empty and broken. Everything falls apart. It's hard to accept the fact that the person is gone who gave you so much to remember. But it's even worse when it's one sided. The person you loved never loved you back but played with you and your feelings and pushed you to that point where you no longer care. That is when you become numb and emotionless. You realize that, that one person has ruined everything and you couldn't do anything just because you were attached to him/her.
553 · Feb 2017
~ Depression ~
Neha shimoga Feb 2017
It's setting in.
Slowly and steadily,
Like how it does
everyday. It doesn't have
a specific time.
It feels like walking on a road which leads to nowhere. It's feels as barbaric as getting stabbed in your back a gazillion times. It's like everything inside of you has collapsed, all the organs have detached and you're trapped in your mind. Your mind is just a gloomy room badly lit by oil lamps. Holding one of those lamps you make your way through the intimidating place just to find a cupboard and hear rattling noises. You know what's in it and you're scared to unleash it. The sound just starts to get louder and you take a step back dropping your lamp down spilling all the oil on the floor. There is absolutely no escape but to endure agony. It's that inexpressible pain which is inevitable for a deep heart. A heart that feels too much. A heart that can feel other's pain by a small touch. The sound gets heavier and syncs with your heart beat. It just breaks through the door and walks towards you with the gusts of wind. So cold and horrendous. Red boiling eyes and deafening screams. The ruler of the dark. You know how much damage it's going to cause. All the positivity you managed to gather gets shattered in no time as you hear it speak. It ***** the life out of you. It makes you feel useless. It makes you feel unwanted. It makes you drown in your own pain. A monster who lives in your mind and feeds off your happiness. Kills the rush of dopamine. It's growing and it's not going to budge. It's motto is to annihilate you completely and in the end it just sets your mind on fire burning it down completely. You scream your lungs out but there's nobody to rescue you. Your legs tremble and you just fall on your knees with death in your heart. //
Harsh.


It's you who's responsible for your own happiness and sadness. I know it feels nearly impossible to overcome it. But you will eventually. Be positive and don't let any negativity affect you in any matter.
Create your own happiness :D

— The End —