mental weighing heavy
no wonder my neck hurt
tryna stay steady
while having
frequent crying bursts
insatiable pain
my worth deteriorates
with the birth of a new day
tryna fly away
but my wings are clipped
i fell from grace

bracing for impact
dealing with the devil
we don't even
have a contract
mental went through upheaval
with the coming of demons
angels committing treason
on my being
lucifer must have seen me
vulnerable

smoldered in a pit of flames
the beholder of this hatred
holds no shame
lame days of worthlessness
tryna decipher this feeling
the reasons weren't even pertinent
slurring words
pangs of hurt
the clergy couldn't save me

solemn days of searching
can't do much else
besides hate me
inner workings
flirting with death
mentally depleted
yet i'm
still achieving things
i've never seen
say goodbye to the feeling
of solace
temporary friction
with the joy
falling,
grace is calling
but my wings are clipped
so all that i can say is
"sorry"

excellence in my bones,
my mind,
my skin,
i feel it pulsate
every moment of respiration, it’s refreshing
refreshing when i acknowledge it
i should formulate a pact of self love and try to honor it
but every time i do i end up breaking down and breaking it

a day at a time
intertwined through our sleep
i’ve always felt some worthlessness
even at my peak
stealing moments and smiles
bringing in tears
they fall on repeat
lately i’ve been speaking less
and sleeping more
trying to escape life’s venomous lore
embodied by the ups and downs and
ins and outs
that my body, mind and soul have
been left sore by

praying for the world as we progress through all this tragedy
it’s customary to this plot
i pray it doesn’t get the best of me
at times i contemplate on my life’s work and my excellence
in my bones, my mind, my skin,
to the latter
i hold highest reverence
contemplation padded with reminiscence
of the days i held acknowledgement
of my excellence in its entirety
until i do (if i ever will)
i’ll cry these tears to my diary
of poetry

— negassie