The river flowed fast in its shallow shadow
Cluster of primroses and wild daffodil waves
As they bloom in undying joy and awful laughter
Caressing breeze forms a ripple in my body

As my eyes caught the shining leaves
as a glass in the sun my ears listen to my heart
How beautiful, beauty clarifies one heart desire to fall
As I walk on the shape, color and texture of her skin

The quiet sound of rippling water screamed
Her mind stirred thoughts of happy love
Is this the lost rib, my heart so inclined
That lifted the river of warm thought in me

Silver sheen of admiration
grows like ***** willows
As I leaned out of the water of thoughts
love sheltered the valley as winter sun

****** of first flowering green so visible
love introduces so much pain in my heart
For it is an empty path that tempts a heart
To climb so fastly instead of slowly

Written by
Martin Ijir

my mind is playing tricks on me
I thought I saw your face
next second gone, just like that
not the slightest trace

I must be going crazy
I thought I heard you call my name
but only silence greeted me
is my mind really playing games?

I thought I felt your tender touch
when I turned, you were not there
although goose bumps broke out on my skin
couldn't find you anywhere

you left me, oh so long ago
yet still you're on my mind
you'd think that I'd be over you
living life and doing fine

why then, am I seeing you
feeling your familiar touch?
why then are you haunting me?
why do I miss you this **** much?

I wish I could just let it go
banish thoughts of you away
I wish I could erase it all
or make it so you stayed

but I don't have that power
so here I am alone
hour after hour
trying to make it on my own

my mind is playing tricks on me
for here you are again
like I'm dreaming while awake
when will this madness end?

always the same, you show yourself
when void of company
when no one's here to witness
the way you come to me

perhaps I am going crazy!
it could be worse for me
at least one thing is certain
I won't ever again be lonely

I'll finally have you back again
and life won't be so sad
living in my crazy world
might  not be so bad

I may have lost touch with reality
I may be lost in wonderland
but I've made up my mind, I'm staying
reality will just have to understand

Is it okay that I still love you?
Even knowing what you did?
I knew nothing at the time
Hell, I was just a kid

I sometimes got the feeling
That maybe you were mean
But I'd push it from my mind
Like some forgotten dream

You used to tell me stories
Before I'd go to sleep
You shared with me imagination
But kept your secrets hidden deep

As I grew into a woman
You gave me great advice
You taught me to be honest
For to lie you pay a price

You told me I was beautiful
And you loved to hear me sing
I never felt you judge me
I could tell you any thing

By then my sister and brother
Had left to escape your fury
You made us think they alone were guilty
A swift exile by judge and jury

I believed they were to blame
Yes, I believed your lies
Even though Dad's heart was broken
Even when I heard his cries

As the years progressed
You shared a little of your tale
About your ******* of a father
And how he put you all through hell

Your last years were full of pain
You suffered much before your death
You begged them for forgiveness
Then you took your final breath

But the damage was too great
And we would not recover
We remained estranged
From our sister and our brother

Since your death I've learned the truth
What you did, and what was done to you
My hearts breaks for the abuse you gave
And the hell that you went through

Now my heart is so confused
I don't know how to feel
Is it okay to love you?
Is the woman I knew even real?

I can't explain it any better
And I don't know what to do
I wish some one would just tell me
Is it okay to love you?

I cried today
Because I realized that I
no longer expect you
to walk through the door.

I don't look at the corner
of the back yard
expecting to see you there
working on something.

I don't plan our dinners
based on your favorite foods
or worry over when the food
hits the table.

We eat when we eat
We eat whatever
It really no longer matters
You were the picky one.

I cried today
Because I realized
something that broke my heart....
I'm used to you being gone.