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I've chosen you
the beautiful one...
in and out,
destiny's too playful that i needed to choose
between the past and the present.
wasn't hard at all,
it's because i was so sure with the answer..

The answer that there's a magic in you
only IN YOU
that drives me crazy to find it out.

It's true i did love
not just once but many times.
my heart was broken . . .
never thought there 'll be you,
who fixed and cared for it..

I wonder why i always been hurt..
now God gave me an answer...
"I wasn't the right woman/man for you"
and you're the answer for everything..
you're my greatest gift from God.

I was amazed and still amaze with your gaze
and everything about you that makes me fall even deeper with you..
I've been crazy  that year for someone...
but just thinking you'll become like her/him
makes me want you to be by side now and ever
that no one could see your beautiful smile...
selfishness am sorry,
but you're the only one who made my knees out of control
that even my heart hypnotizes with your words.

Never been this in love before,
I've changed alot because of you..
became a better person that no one assumed.
thank you wasn't enough and i want you to be part of my whole life.
"i love you so much" wasn't enough to express how much i love you my love...
u'r so mean but i do love you even more:)
u're being preserved and i respect u alot more.

You made me realize,
that the past I've wasted my time wasn't love after-all,
just being afraid of being alone.

When they're gone..my life's miserably passing by.
but just thinking you'll leave me makes my whole being in coma..
I WOULD RATHER DIE WITHOUT YOU MY LOVE.
YOU'RE NOT JUST A FRIEND,A LOVER..
BUT YOU ARE MY LIFE...
I LOVE YOU AND MISSING YOU ALOT!
CC BY-NC-ND 4.0
 Oct 2013 Natalka
Ted Hughes
He loved her and she loved him
His kisses ****** out her whole past and future or tried to
He had no other appetite
She bit him she gnawed him she ******
She wanted him complete inside her
Safe and Sure forever and ever
Their little cries fluttered  into the curtains

Her eyes wanted nothing to get away
Her looks nailed down his hands his wrists his elbows
He gripped her hard so that life
Should not drag her from that moment
He wanted all future to cease
He wanted to topple with his arms round her
Or everlasting or whatever there was
Her embrace was an immense press
To print him into her bones
His smiles were the garrets of a fairy place
Where the real world would never come
Her smiles were spider bites
So he would lie still till she felt hungry
His word were occupying armies
Her laughs were an assasin's attempts
His looks were bullets daggers of revenge
Her glances were ghosts in the corner with horrible secrets
His whispers were whips and jackboots
Her kisses were lawyers steadily writing
His caresses were the last hooks of a castaway
Her love-tricks were the grinding of locks
And their deep cries crawled over the floors
Like an animal dragging a great trap
His promises were the surgeon's gag
Her promises took the top off his skull
She would get a brooch made of it
His vows  pulled out all her sinews
He showed her how to make a love-knot
At the back of her secret drawer
Their screams stuck in the wall
Their heads fell apart into sleep like the two halves
Of a lopped melon, but love is hard to stop

In their entwined  sleep they exchanged arms and legs
In their dreams their brains took each other hostage

In the morning they wore each other's face
 Oct 2013 Natalka
Phobial
I was walking down a path unknown to most.
An old road that was once overused
Now full of cracks speckled with rocks
here and there.

This path was a favorite of mine.
A place where I could wander
And be myself
With only nature to judge me.

I was walking on a chilly October afternoon
as something caught my attention in the corner of my eye.
A little flower, just a sapling
Standing ***** in between the cracks of this old road.

"What are you doing here, flower?
Are you lost?"
"Nonsense," it replied to me.
"I've found just what I was looking for."

This flower was unlike any other I'd seen.
Its petals were soft, like bed sheets just out of the dryer.
How was it surviving here?
How was it surviving between the cracks of this old road, unknown to most?

I separated the flower from its roots and carried it with me.
We shared our secrets with each other
We conversed for hours
We developed the kind of friendship I had been seeking for longer than I can remember.

The flower had the sweetest scent
The smell of nature, the smell of dirt,
The smell of rain.
All composed into one scent erupting from the petals.

That scent died one day.
Slowly, it began to slip away.
The life of the poor sapling drained as if slipping through a funnel into an empty sink.

Why would God do this to me?
Why would he take my best friend
and all of my secrets and feelings
and thoughts with him?

I had something special
But I knew it was too good to be true
Why did I separate the flower from its roots, only for our love to die a few days later
Along with it's soul?

Why must I be so thoughtless..
 Oct 2013 Natalka
karuna
Nostalgia
 Oct 2013 Natalka
karuna
i want to go back to the innocence
                                                                ­                                of holding your soft hands in mine
                                                            ­                                     i want to feel the warm summer breeze
                                                                ­                                                     and the wistful love of the ocean
                                                           ­                                  but the trouble with the ocean is
                                                                ­  eventually the tide recedes                          
                               and leaves love lost in the waves

                  hate                 longing           hurt                 excitement
    wonder     confusion             hope            sadness                    madness

of a thousand other emotions  
      
         pain                    sorrow                 fear            uncertainty          frustration
lust            ­    anger                    passion          trust              ­      love                happiness
i tried to do a cool thing
 Oct 2013 Natalka
st64
a day is a day is..
a day
hey?


since the day I saw
but a mere two days
hard to believe what I
saw
but I can't say.. I just can't
I might be blinded
by the contiguous-brilliance

today
I slow-pour this wondrous-concoction
into
this
wee poem-in-granite
and wait for the right-an-timely setting

and *tomowwow

we'll see..
won't we?



yesssssss...


S T - 23rd octo-octo 2013
how lucky anyone afforded the godsend of contrast :)


sub-entry: sunny..rainy


sunny.. yesterday, the sun hid its bold-face
rainy.. today, you go sit quietly now

one day.. will be
what will be.
 Oct 2013 Natalka
witchy woman
(oh) I stumble wired and thin
You've pinned me under your thumb
To watch me come undone again

(don't) you know you're sewn into my head
Work of a thick, jagged needle
And a rusty, barbed wire thread

Chorus:
I feel her coming
I can hear her screaming
Yeah, I know she's just teasing
And I'm powerless to fight back

(Yeah) I sense her haunting
Engulfed in self-loathing
You know, she's only wanting
Her weary mind to falter back

I wake
To the iridescent cascade
Of pale light
Streaked across your face

I dance, sweet temptress in hand
As I stray out of my mind
And fix myself another line

Chorus (again)

Oh baby don't you see these scars?
Break my neck and spare my heart
Daddy can you spot my tracks?
Daddy when will you face the facts?

Your child has grown
Your baby's moved on
And now your little girl
Is dead and gone
Lyrics I wrote for my first song with my girls
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