Nat: Favorites

Jun 2013 Nat

Red Starr

Do you ever feel
Like the words are stuck,
So much you want to say?
But you allowed someone
To break the connection
Between your soul and fingers?
Do you ever feel
So pushed and pulled
By other's emotions
You forget which ones
Are truly your own?
Are you so compelled
To give and give to others
You whither in the drought
That's left behind?
Boundaries, boundaries are
So hard for me to find.
They're invisible laser beams
Protecting a fine jewel.
I can't see them.
I clumsily make my way through.
I allow others to determine my path.
Where is the strength
I felt two years ago?
Will it ever return?
Until then, I swing from here to there,
Tripping, slipping along the way.
Searching for the strength I knew
Before my world was turned upside-down.

Jun 2013 Nat

Night in

Jun 2013 Nat

Amelie

Night in

The vague temptation of your deliciousness
Is hanging over my head
And the sweet taste of your salty skin
Still makes me feel like I'm dead,

Killed by your mouth laid on my neck
Chilled by your hands sliding on my body
Thrilled by your fingers intertwined with mine
Quilled by your eyes, bright in obscurity.

I remember your barely visible smile,
And your shivering lips
I remember the tip of your breast
Getting harder every time I touched it,
With the fresh carress of night falling down.

I want to hear you panting again,
Watch your chest go up and down
As you were breathing heavily
Getting ready for the final knockdown.

I remember the burning light in your eyes
And your teeth softly biting your lips
As your hands hovered my naked body
Getting to know me, bits after bits.

I rcan still see your head slightly tilted back
And your open mouth, looking for fresh air
To cool down your own temperature,
And my hands tearing off what you had left to wear.

I can still feel your tense fingers
Vainly clinging the sheets of my bed,
Your hot, heavy breathing sliding on my skin,
The voices screaming inside my head.

Finally I remember your tongue slow dancing with mine
And the three words you said when I never asked you to,
Sweet, soft, quiet, light and almost inaudible
The magical, crazy "Baby, I want you."

Jun 2013 Nat

Weightless

Jun 2013 Nat

Plain Jane Glory

Weightless

For My Sister*

Doll face, what does it matter
if you're ugly as hell?
If you’re short or you’re fat
Or your face is full of pimples?
Why the hell should it matter?

Sweetness, who gives a ****
If you tie your laces upside down?
And your left hand smudges the words on the page?
If you break down crying at the sight of rotting road ****?
Who is anyone to laugh at you?
Who is anyone to tell you who you are?

I am sick and tired of seeing your red-rimmed eyes
I am sick and tired of seeing what they do to you
I hate to see you hurt and I crave the very best for you
I want you to be happy in all the ways you can
Let go of it all and crawl on the ceiling, weightless

Darling, people are messed right up
And we've all got cuts and stitches and oozing wounds
But don't let the bruised and beaten up punks
the privileged warriors, the wait-listed mental patients,
the scummy lost wanderers, the vengeful aching souls,
Tell you it matters if you're ugly as hell
Please please please
Understand you are so much more than a shell
than an exoskeleton of a soul
You are a glorious, bruised and beaten up,
Ugly, pimpled masterpiece,
And it's a shame that they don't see it

I'm an avid user of dorky pet names, if you couldn't tell. Though my sister is gorgeous inside and out, this is for her. She was bullied in elementary school and she still has to deal with the effects of it at 21. I just want to see her smile.

Jun 2013 Nat

let go

Jun 2013 Nat

annie

let go

just let go
of the memories
we held so dearly
that now tickle your consciousness
and dance within your nightmares

just let go
of reality
slip into the arms
of false pretenses
and shattered promises

just let go
of existence
it is of no use
to a soul that is shredded
and empty

Jun 2013 Nat

She Bird

Jun 2013 Nat

Nicole Kimberly

She Bird

A lonely bird chirps;
Loud enough to hear it.
Again she will hope;
But others won't listen.

The day fell to dusk
As a bird only spoke.
There were no answers,
Just another long joke.

The clouds had darkened
& all children ran home
Nightfall was coming
A bird truly alone.

Branches on the trees
Would slowly fall asleep.
The stars are family
But far light years away.

Night by night there's hush
All around her life.
From a gray cloud of loss
That just begins to rain.

Softly the clouds storm
When white turns to deep shades.
Like all the other times
Her sound really fades.

The rain is the sorrow
Although with perfect drops.
The bird had remembered
What most just forgot.

Jun 2013 Nat

Right there in the parking lot...

Jun 2013 Nat

Damaged

Right there in the parking lot...

My heart sank to my stomach.
Tears welled in my eyes.
I got to the car just as my knees were about to buckle.
I climbed in and just curled into a ball in my seat.
I didn't care that it was hotter than hell.
I don't really care about anything anymore.
But I mean it's hard to care anymore.
Why care when no one else does?
You could spend all your time always trying to make sure someones okay.
Trying to make sure they feel loved.
Making sure you're always more than nice...
And all you'll get in return in silence and avoidance.
Almost like they don't even care.

#32

May 2013 Nat

I am your eyelids

May 2013 Nat

September

I am your eyelids

I am your eyelids and the train-tracks of your stitches. I am the cracks in your bones and the wealthy mind riches. I am the fluid of your language that speaks in every sentence of your prose, I am the syllable you cannot speak though your tongue still knows. I am the chapel of your rib cage and the rage that it slows, closing the gates to the crosses in rows. I am the dirt under your cuticle and the follicle of your skin, sprouting a thread of your body within. I am the anxiety of your brain and the ecstasy of your flesh, crawling at the sense that you attain and possess. I am your lost baby teeth and the way that they chatter, I am the neurons, the synapses, the white and grey matter. I am your saliva burning caverns in the cave of your time. I am the line of your lips and the lungs you call, "mine." I am your soul, your secrecy, your sanctity. Your spine.