I am a good person
Even without my name on the acknowlegdement of donaters in the book

I am beautiful
Even without hundreds of likes and complimenting comments on instagram

I am loved
Even without those birthday shoutout posts on facebook dedicated to me

I am capable
Even without those hiking, travelling and eating-healthy posts on snapchat

Most importantly
I am grateful
Even without those prayer posts thanking Him everytime I feel blessed
Because I'm always grateful for who I am
And I dont need them to tell me that

She is gripping her favorite lipstick
  It was a gift from one of his trips
  And she is asking herself on repeat
  ‘Should I still be holding onto it?’

She puts down the fork and the knife
    on her plate
  It was their favorite diner to date
  And she whispers to no one
  ‘Am I really done?’

She is sitting on top of a hill
  On the bench where they used to
   chill
  And she stares at the sunset looking
   drawn
  ‘Shouldn’t I, too, move on?’

She puts her headphones on
  It is his favorite classical song
  She presses the square-shaped
   symbol and let out a sob
  ‘This needs to stop.’

She is staring at her screen
  They are their vacation pictures on
   the scene
  And on one click, the screen proposes
  ‘Erase all?’ or ‘Close?’

She is petting a bird
  It was their lovely baby parrot
  And she opens the cage door
  ‘I am ready to let go.’

Sometimes you just don't notice things right in front of you
Sometimes you need it pointed out for you to be able to see them
Only then you realize the possibilities
Only then you start to actually look out for them

What I'm trying to say is..
  sometimes it's not rejection
  sometimes it's oblivion

"I believe in you." Words that water flowers.  
-Faudet, M.


I'm not saying
that it will unwilt all the sadness away
That by just saying those words
would magically lift a person to bloom exceedingly
I'm saying
it might at least not **** the very tiny, little hope,
motivation,
reason to live
she has in her heart
I'm saying
at least she won't die

And some day,
when the sun seems a lot brighter
She is gonna thank you for that

-A wilting flower

Only exactly a year after
did I delete all the pictures
And even then felt difficult
It was stupid and pathetic of me
I know
But eyes closed
I deleted them anyway,
hoping the heart would do the same

not a sign of any stars shining in the sky tonight
it's like the sky is, too, grieving

not a sign of any good dreams tonight
it's like the dreammaker is, too,  mourning

but the heart, now
doesn't bother about good dreams anyway

probably cause the mind is wandering, carrying along the heart
wandering far
far away from here
to home
to home where everyone is
well not everyone,
not anymore.

goodbye moing, rest well ❤