You were different.. I was different
Something was different
And now I'm left here
With a bitter taste in my mouth
Wondering how liquid
Could change a person so much
How bright lights and loud noises
Could drown out my existence
Until you forgot I was ever there

Someone asked me what it was like doing speed
If you're wondering, it was a lot like love
I loved it the way some people love playing guitar
The way some people love their mothers
The way some people love their God
I used it to express myself, to unleash my creativity
I used it to find solace and comfort, to make me feel all better
To put a bandaid on my scraped knee and tell me to keep trying
I used it so I would have something to believe in
Something better than what I was, something that believed in me too
I loved the way it made me to soar to new heights
I always forgave it when I crashed down to new lows
I loved the way it took my fear away of talking to strangers
I forgave it when I became afraid of people who weren't even there
I loved the way I made love so confidently when I was on it
I forgave it when I had to go to bed with strangers just to afford it
I loved the way it made me love myself again
I forgave it when I couldn't recognize myself anymore
Yes, I think it was a lot like love

I want to feel alive
To see that old spark back in my eyes
But there is never quite enough
No matter how I try
My lips taste of poison
But my mind feels washed and clean
A brand new look
For a worn out fiend
I can laugh at the smallest things
But bleed from the smallest smile
Lost? Broken? I've known all along
I'm not in denial
My skin hides my secrets
The blood that runs white
When my mistress, she calls
I can't put up a fight
A lust like no other
An ever swelling greed
Like angry waves attack the sea
Wash over me
She knows what I need,
She knows what I need
I don't know where I'm going
Or what to hear, see and speak
But I'll be okay as reality fades
Cling to the hope that this isn't me
I laugh and force a smile
To distract from my bloodshot eyes
Soon I'll ask glass Angels
To put truth into these lies
To numb me while I cry
They fly into my lungs and promise to try
I need to be free
And wear their wings
Escape from the puppet master
Always pulling on my strings
But I remain a song
That's known but no one sings
I'm just a tortured, dark thing
An empty, dark thing.