the trees are still green

I have to whisper a lullaby

slowly they fall asleep

all the flowers will fall

the sky won't always be this blue

all the leaves will fall into my hands

I'm falling asleep

waiting for the cold rain

sleep my love
sleep well
the angels above sing lullaby's for you
clouds weep at your great existence
stars shine
the sun burns with love for you
the moon is too shy to whisper
I love you
sleep
dream
an endless dream
of paradise
a heaven
sleep

will we ever be friends again

strangers
who know each other

I still remember your favorite song

listening to it
reminds me of all our lost letters

you left
and I waited

staring off into another plane

somewhere this place doesn't exist

a state of mind
take me higher
to another level

this world feels like a cage

humans step all over me

smaller and smaller I walk

this isn't my home

mapping the sky to find
where I'll be reborn

locked inside this body
I'm contained

I don't use my brain

these veins are weak
I can't function

tell me why

close minded
a shut third eye

crush me down

I'm lost

I don't know where I belong

out of this world

so comfortable
inside this kind darkness

I know there's more colors
more brighter

I can't see

I can't wake up to

sad to say
but
some of my poems
aren't poems

now I'm alone
it's what I wanted

why does it feel colder
why does the light shine brighter

you can come and turn the music louder
what's so funny
am I boring

keep me distracted
I don't want to go back upstairs

don't leave me alone
even if I ask for you to leave

I'm sorry
I'm the reason everyone leaves

no one is reaching out to me
I can't find the strength

I can't find the moment to say
hello

I miss the silence
now that I don't have it

How could I forget you

It's your birthday in a few days too

we need help

I want out

do I have to hear sirens out the window

I want to help you

dying of an overdose

I loved you

your words dripping with blood

miss you this much

I'll never forget
the day he leaned his head on my shoulder

or the night
she rested her head on my legs

on a car drive
in the back seat
I knew I wouldn't watch over her for long

I left him
so unexpectedly
but I remember him sending me
an I miss you


all these moments in time
are they ending
are they repeating
over and over again

I wish I could sing
to sing you all these songs
I wish I could rain
to make you an ocean
I wish I could shine
to be a star in your sky
I wish I was loving
so I could love you
I wish I wasn't troubled
all I do is cause trouble
I wish I could make you gold
you'd be the richest in the world
I wish I could talk
I wish you could read my mind
I wish you didn't need to go
where do we go
I have no direction
you're a good thing
your flaws are slipping through me
and I can't breathe
why don't you go away
there's nothing good
I don't want to make the same mistake
but I'm going to do it again
I know I know
I can see it
can't you prove me wrong
tell me differently
tell me
tell me
I'm wrong
I'm overthinking
I don't even like you
why are you trying to get inside my head
I secretly wish it was him instead
all these feelings are so familiar
are you another lesson
I can't find enough dandelions
how will we make it through this
please stay away from me
you're trying to take me
and I have nothing to give

so materialistic
I wish you'd find other ways to love me

Offline
You must like it
now I'm gone

Come
say goodbye

I wish I could love myself
I need to hold my hand before anyone else

Mama behave
you treat me like a friend
I never learned to stay still

My thoughts run into the streets
crashing between bodies and cars

Offline
Give me my common sense
I can't live without the internet
don't say
don't tell my friends

Hey mama
I don't love you like one
You must hate me now
I'm gone


I don't say goodbye

Why don't you ever hold my hand
Hey
Hey

Don't you know
can't you think

Notice
I've been feeling offline

Turn me off
I can't wake up
I don't see the sun
the stars don't sparkle

You painted me into a frame
I can't come out of

rain
sleeping in memories of rain
trying to remember how I felt
now I'm confused
stuck in a daze
wake me up
when a time machine exists
I want to talk about
everything we lost
the morning after
I wish I could hear
you laugh one last time
If only you could look
at me the same way you did back then
now I'm crying
I'm dying
I'll **** myself
for you to love me

If we were to meet again
Would you say hi
Like the star you see
When the sun is going down
And it hasn't washed the sky
In its darkness
Would you stay
To talk
Maybe forgive
Am I asking to much

I just want to know
What if we were to see each other again
Would you stay
Leave like I did
I've been wondering

what a blue summer
counting down the days
that seem so far away

Lately I want to break everything
I want to break each glass dish
and break a window

Throw the tv down the stairs


What a blue summer
I feel it every year

the chlorine
sun waves
and sunburned

the water gets warmer
and the day is longer

I can't find the right time
to see the stars

cut my heart to pieces
I hate when you cry

let me hug you next time

7 years
7 million miles away

When are we leaving this
lemon flavored room

Let me drive the country roads
I'll take us home

All my suffering
avoiding it

all these punishments
do they mean something

all our tears
filled with fears

let's celebrate it all

I know he'll never really like me
I'm bad news

he knows it's not worth the risk
there's nothing to lose

this friendship is dying its weak
he knows nothing about me
I can't learn nothing about him

I know I'm distant and cold
he's out of tune
too far to catch

I can't move mountains
or half the sea knowing
he doesn't want to see me

this is obessesion
infatuation
all leading to nowhere

if we're still friends in five years
I hope we've grown together

my wish is to see your face soon
I won't ask you

I've never seen an angel dressed in red

walking ahead
my sight has not returned

you burned my tongue
I breathe through the smoke

I've never seen a million faces inside one
you spoke carefully

running far
you found my name

I'm thinking of ways
to see you again

it's times like these
I wish I was faceless

Cutting my head off
I want my life to turn off
_________

Off with his head
All I ever wished is for his silence
His silent death

ignore my messages
who's the ghost
I never call

I stay behind
staring
the back of your head is interesting

I'd like to know
everything
the stars
offer so much

ignore my happiness
shame on you
who's wrong
I never take the blame

I'll never hurt you
if I did
will it even hurt

I'm lost
you haven't responded
I'm hanging

you treat me like a fool
who's the first to crack

lost
in this confusion

do I deserve it
should I be more demanding

I don't love you
if I did
would you love me back

I had been hoping
that I would get the time
to get closer to you

You felt like a stranger by my side
felt like crying all night
having to leave you behind

I've found someone else
to get closer with
I'm no longer crying about it

You've found someone else
I could tell
Its been this way
Never me always her

I feel so relieved
the thunder doesn't scare me

I had been hoping that we could spend some time together
now I realize
my dreams of you and I
will never come to real life

six years and counting
my words forever inside a screen
and it means a lot when someone reads my past
a person I used to know
I've changed, I'm not the same
even so
my heart sparkles when I see her
I'll try and meet her someday, somewhere
just to say- you did well

I burned out

cut ties
erased everything

we weren't friends
why are we pretending

you won't even notice
I'm leaving out the front door

starting to breathe

all our memories
moments we spent together

will feel so meaningless

not yet
not now

soon

we're all looking for a space to fit in

a space where I can let go of my words
hoping someone will catch them

a space
where we silently judge
in the end
stay silent
no one cares for your opinions

if I say something simple
it's not special

I wish we weren't so serious
don't look deep into a puddle

She writes in a way
I'll never be able to

I can't reach the surface

I must try again
She is waiting

I take my time
I never respond on time

Maybe she hates me
Maybe not

Everyone loves her
they love her poems

She writes a way
I can't reach

And I
So behind

Must find a way into her head

I love the way she writes about it

I can't even scratch the surface

I make a frown
thinking about the person
I use to be

Sipping on chlorine
washing out the bad parts inside

Don't like the person I've become

Changing sounds like to much work
so I stay the same

Can't close my eyes
everytime it rains
I hope to find myself

Lose myself again

No matter who I find
who stays

It's not enough

I feel to much
for the pain to go away

Why does the sky look grey
the sun is turning pale

My skin
is coming apart

I don't want to see the real me

I'm all about hiding

a small favor
tired of waiting

dreaming
of someone's love

to be in love
how does it feel

what is it like

my heart is so cold
I don't know how to love anyone

hopelessly
looking for love in crowded spaces

November
is my old friend
whos hands I shake
coldly she always behaves
she comes in a mourning time
the moon cries in vain
November
she whispers goodnight
to the trees
navigates her way down south
with the golden butterflies
running for their lives
kisses me gently
I only see her once a year
the bitterness
in her heart
stays with me
all winter long
calling my name
I shiver

You created a beautiful world
a flawless nature
a flawless earth

You created creatures full of mistakes
you created painful beings

I'm envious of the light
you created so ethereal

why am I not beautiful
like the ocean

you created such a perfect ground
humans tear apart

I'm disappointed you let such a celestial planet
go to waste

I want to create a perfect memory

I'm a fake

don't look too closely

I want to go back to a time that doesn't exist

it's all in my head

back then

I'd hug

now I'm afraid of touch

lately

forgetting

about my surroundings

remembering past faces

old places

where am I running to

I lost my breath a long time ago

why are we superficial

wealth isn't real

thinking about life
somewhere a sky has no stars

somewhere
I am old and somewhere I am young

there is no time

I want to read forever

forever isn't enough

thinking about water
plants and animals

I speak with nature

though
I have a great disconnection with other humans
can't seem to care

I understand emotions
studying everyone else's
since I don't carry them for myself

Death
in my eyes

The only living thing inside me
is weeds

I cough out
sadness

I have two hearts
only one hurts

I am undesirable
no one wants me
I am unfixable

Waking up in cold sweat
I can't remember the nightmare
I dreamt

It's a good thing

    now I'm lost thinking
what was it
I feared

I'm afraid
I'm terrified
I'm stuck inside

I've haven't touched the world

I'm petrified

I've always wanted to be a flower

the one
everyone wants to pick

I've become a plant in the wrong place

a flower
no
I'm the weeds
you pull out
throw out
I die out

maybe no one knows how to love

me
me
me

you don't know how to love me

I blame myself for being

the weeds

can't be your flower

I live in the wrong place
the wrong time

undesirable

I only blame myself

I guess I don't have a conscious
I don't care what they say
I'll do things my way
even if it hurts someone's feelings

I sleep without thinking
did I hurt you
I just don't know

the sun reminds me of my ego
so prideful
all I ever see is me

I'm sorry
I can't hug you to sleep

I'm sorry
I'm sick
that I'll never
understand

I really haven't learned

Should i go along
With a fake smile

Or just frown all day

let's take the bus home

we don't want to go home

home isn't home

lost kids

you had everything

I had everything

I wish I could give you a hug

I wasn't thinking

are you hurting

let's play all night

summer
wasted
in humid July twilights

if you ever
need a hand to hold

you have

mine
mine mine
mine

if you ever need someone

you have

me
me
me me

and
I will
love

you
you you

Let's make this easy
Eize
Rainy days
With a sky covered with gloomy clouds
Bus rides 7 AM morning rain
let's make this easy
Let the weeks pass
like a river's stream
Not ready to see you
It's okay
I'll be okay
Doesn't mean anything
Let's make this easy
rivers
pouring down
7 AM bus rides
Good days
Washed up in lost rain water

I'm grateful
to view the moon
and it's beauty
let its light touch my body

To see the sunset
the magical  
time of day
where the sun goes off
to shine other parts of the earth
see the sunrise
coming up again to
light up my day

I'm waiting for spring
to see the flowers bloom
the trees living
butterflies flying

I'm waiting to live again
be connected with everything around me

June
July is looking for you
summers waiting all day
do you want to go away
from this place
June
I'm looking for you
do you want to
go for a ride
spring is coming by
June
I'm waiting for you

yeah I know
I'm not so important now

so I keep on looking

where I'll feel validated

sent you a letter every day
I had you in front of my mind
I gave you everything
even if it was mine

doesn't matter now
let's forget
the love

I was someone you depended on
now
I'm nothing
I'm feeling lost

emotional
and alone

I'm not so important now
it's because I don't have the world
I have nothing left to give

I wish I didn't have to see your face
swallowing the ******* tears and pain

I'm not important
I know

I often cry alone
that's all I've known

hide your feelings

with many years alive
I still don't understand what it's like to love

there are days I can't see the sun

I can't feel warm

I stay up until dawn
hoping to find the sunrise