all my friends are online
I stay outside

all these empty rooms
generation of fools

we're to busy looking ahead
let's look back
back
back

there's not a better time

the time we didn't exist
earth slept peacefully

the sun dies down
stars come out to play
let my tears flood the bedroom
a field of flowers talking for hours

I've not met a darkness
darker than my own

I won't change for me
I won't change for you

do you want to go somewhere its dark
where there's no light
no noise

I want to be hugged by silence

hearing you laugh
isn't so comforting

I'm hurting
I want to cry
my heart wants to bleed

hold it in
swallow it up
cover it

I'm not smiling

did you think you were special

oh how pathetic

I'm here
to remind you
you're not

it's cruel
the ugly truth

I'm being your friend
sometimes I have to put you back in your place

don't cry
it's okay

well
not for you
but for me yes

my perfect puppet
come to me

If you fall
I'll hate you

If you run
I'll hate you more

the look of misery
looks pretty on you

I should have a good day tomorrow
I say as I fall asleep
I should be productive
I think as I lay in bed in the morning

Nothing really gets to me
I'm also dissatisfied
Nothing is interesting
I crave everyone's attention

I say things that I'll never do
I try and be someone better
It just never works out

over my head
over my head
over my head

over my head
over my head
over my head

over my head
over my head
over my head
over my head
over my


is it too late
to save me

that's all I wish for
please reach out
I'll hold on tight

why does everyone slip away

I had a dream
it won't come true

my heart broke
so much it hurts

I'll wait here
death will save me first
I'll hold on tight
don't let go

concealer under my eyes
you won't notice
I've been roaming around the cloudless night

something has to change

I don't take action
I won't look into it

sleeping at 1 pm
left my brain in thursday

something has to change

all the same things
repeating the same mistakes

more concealer
I slept okay
two hours a day

woke up at 7 am
why is it 9
again

sleeping is killing me

I can't change

I won't change

it's the same
same day
thought it was thursday

same shade
concealer
these long nights make me feel weaker

a nap for all my lost dreams
lucid dreaming into the afternoon
I'm feeling lighter

I gaze at the moon that's hiding behind the clouds

the storm is passing by
lightning blossoming into the sky

my beloved tree
why have you not grown

are you waiting on me
waiting for my heart

I know we're still the same

I hope we grow within this summer rain

I need this sadness
this anger
to remember
all the pain I've gone through

don't you go and hide
I'm still bleeding out
from everything I've lost

covered in dust
from the ashes
of my lost lover

felt like I'd never recover
but I still miss her

as the months went by
I forgot about you gradually

I still try
and hope to see you one last time

go back in time
love you one last time

one last time

to do everything right

it's so hard
to live without

you're burning out

stay

- - -

I was the one who left

I wish I had been told to stay

I don't want to say it's true

can I get what I want

I've been hiding away my hands

will I ever admit to you what I want

I miss you in the evenings
when the birds are leaving

all my memories are empty

the most beautiful flowers
grow in
harmful places

i don't know where i am going
i don't have a direction anymore
i am tired of walking
if only i could fly
maybe i should just swim or
drown and say goodbye

how I wish
to be alone

how I wish
I was on earth alone

I wish
everyone could leave this planet

I wish
we could take care of it

we don't even care for ourselves
we don't even care about each other

I want to be alone

strange thoughts
swimming inside my head

I want to take off my skin
it gets tiring living in this society

I always feel like my life goes in circles
back again
to the start
never reaching the end

all I ever do is
repeat my mistakes
I write the same thing
over and over
it's the same pain

life
dies
whenever I'm around

my lack of sympathy
gets me in problems
I don't want to

just a little older
the air
less cold

if I could touch the sun
I would

Over the moon
At 00:00

I'll let go
If you go first

I want to go
waiting
lights blinking

sleeping in the afternoon
I'm ready to let go

I took a picture of the sky
forgot you're not in my contacts

is this envy
jealousy

I want to hate this feeling
am I possessive or protective
are both too controlling

I'm hiding all of my emotions
I can't let her notice

don't get lost inside
it's a long way down

why do you need someone else
am I not enough
can I be the only one

is this lust
what's the difference

I love the feeling
can you feel it

Maybe if you love me
You should tell me something

please stop saying goodnight
then I know you're gone

you never come back

please come back

make it last

I'm tired of losing
tired of missing

I want more of you
am I greedy

I have no world
let me inside yours

Don't you ever feel so full of light
so far away from everyone
I'm looking for someone to love me
darkness surrounds me

I feel so full of light
no one can see me

I get this sinking feeling days before

eyes hurt
and I can't breathe

remembering every past eighteenth morning
I've woken up

when I was laying in your bed
and took a shower downstairs

when I slept so late
I saw the sun rise
I took a picture
looking so vacant

or when I woke up to nothing
I was all alone
made my bed
later you came into the room with gifts

way back
when I woke up to her kissing my cheeks
the forgotten birthday card she made me
I will remember and the yearly tradition
broken because everyone had changed

I'm filled with paranoia
can't sleep

something is coming
something I can't avoid

the weight is heavy

it will pass
and leave me paralyzed

please don't say it
let me stay days away

from the happy birthday candles
that slowly burn my soul

the look in my eyes
hidden under the mask

you said we would change our world

where are you now

you left me all alone

your love is a poison
||||||||
all I know is you

Thursday
come closer
stay
sunday morning

My angel
beautiful saint

why did you fall
in love

a devil
hungry for my heart

eat my soul
eternity
beside you

don't make me wait forever

sweet love
you love me like an angel

sweet darling
I see the devil in your eyes

I write with my pain as my pen
blood into the page
& my mind won't leave me alone
not even when I'm on the phone
I talk
I speak
I'm in the ruins
I'm a destroyer

lost in a dream
running in the night

I know you don't love me everyday
I know that you can't stay

I know that
I know that
I know that

lip balm
thinking
what's wrong

fix it
fix it

I try

thinking thinking
I try

I know you won't love me everyday
I know that
I know that

If I leave tomorrow
will you stay

lucky me
lucky you

what's wrong
how can I fix it

thinking
this is it
nothing will ever be better than this
if it is
it's not enough

thinking
why

I try

I know you haven't loved me everyday

I know that now

I should actually get going
Cause i was use to being
In water

Catching all those
Lost breaths

And i wonder what's missed

All the regrets
Are gonna pinch my skin
And brain

I have to chase them all

I'll probably have to throw up
Soon

Chlorine water out
My throat

where did you go
have I done something wrong
will we distance ourselves further away

I miss you
don't pretend you don't think of me

we never connect the way you imagined

where did I go
I can't find myself

looking out the window
will it rain
is there a way
I can get myself back into my body

wandering
I don't think I can find my way back

why fear death
when life kills you

- - -

what have I done

this isn't living

I'm holding my breath
I can't reach the surface
I'm still the underwater poet
in my head
overflowing
stop swimming

\ \

what do I do
I'm tired
I won't ask again
how foolish of you
I'm leaving soon
without you

even now
seasons passed
months faded away

I hear a sad song
and think about you

remember how
you colored me blue

waiting for you to love me
how mistaken I was
wasted time I can't get back

your ghost looks lonely
I can't keep you close anymore

will it hurt to forget you ?

I want to go h o m e
where there's no roof
there's no water
I feel hot
there are flowers growing on my bed
I shower with a clouds rain

but this is all I need
I want to go h o m e

where there's
no sunlight
no trees
only leaves

I want to leave

go home

it's a white dream
you ever loving me

your empty body
scares me

I don't understand the feeling

I've studied your eyes for so long
never did I find an ounce of love

I'll forever be your doll
I break and fall
when you throw me to the floor

I listen to whatever you have to say
and you brag to all your friends

I read your eyes
to try and find
I swim through your lies
deep dark nights

/ //
when I realized you didn't love me

a weight from my heart was lifted

give her your smile
it'll take me a while
to see you with someone else

couldn't be more thankful
give me just a moment
to see you go home with someone else

you were my parachute
when I would fall from
outer space

I'm still standing
hope I fall into the ocean

They are having fun
While I'm here
Crying so much
They don't
Understand
I can't get better if
my mind keeps
Telling me I
Shouldn't
What if
The voices
Never go away
Will I ever be ok

I've been
        I've been
                Thinking too too much
To know nothing
At all

I just
    I just
Don't don't
          Know
      What
  Life
Is
Anymore

feeling so sonder

I don't like your name

We can change it

I can keep secrets
I'll stay quiet

I laugh in my sleep
I cry in my dreams

I'm always dying
when she comes around

I bloom for her
so she can pick me from the ground

I don't like your frown
I can change it

I'm always quiet
I got a lot of things to hide

I never have time to see the moon rise
I only see the moon disappear
in pastel hues
of the morning sky

sometimes you're in my brain
can't say I don't remember
I still have the bitter taste
wonder if you remember my teary eyes
and weak fingers

I hate everyone who still talks about you
like you're some old friend

I wish I could **** you
it'd really give me a good rest

Uh oh
She's gone

Into the ocean floor
Into the forest
Out in space
Floating away

Uh oh
She won't come back

Trying to tell her the truth
But her head turns away
Whatever she hears will come out through the other ear

I don't want to talk to a wall

Uh oh
She's gone

Uh oh
I can't help her no more

I love her
But she's far away

Hope one day you'll realize

look me in the eyes
new moon, I don't want to lie
I want to be free

there's a strange feeling
I want to try again yet
I know I'll fall easily

hold my hand longer
I hold you in ways no one
has ever touched you

no one before me
I don't want to wear this mask
leaving, pale mornings

Frown because no one is around
Cry because no one can hear your
Sobs
Scream as loud so the birds can hear

But remember take a peek
See if anyone heard
If someone did
Run

I know you boy
you like
the perfect rose
the color red
I bleed blue
I cut too deep

I know you
you want simple
traditional
you like the old ways
I'm sorry I can't sit straight
I always look ahead
I stare for too long
I see you melt

I know I scare you away
I know I keep you interested
chasing me
I play a calculated game of hide and seek
I didn't notice you walking in the dark
scared I would lose

I know your type
polar opposites
so different

I water down the roses
I color myself pink

I water myself down
it's the way you'll love me
only if I'm weak

I wish you heard my favorite songs
but you turned the volume down

all you ever did was talk about yourself

she really likes you
so why don't you like her

you reply so fast
and it shows you're offline

ready to cut the strings
she's coming back
she always wins

I'm the fool again
she's not good for you
I'm too good for her

keep walking in circles

you can erase me now
forget me now

I keep my word
we will never be friends
I won't ever see you again

She saw him cry
His princess was *****
And a liar
He made a big mistake

She ran to catch up
To her understanding
And then was happy

She saw him and grabbed his hand
Saying he would be fine

She stayed
And he notice more things

Let me see your shadow move
I want you to glow in the dark
touch me so lightly
I'll never know
My heart beats slow
waiting for the moment I can give it to you
Let me hear your breath dance with mine
Tangle up our sight
I only want to see for the rest of my life

Do you come alive
under the night sky

Do you wonder of infinite possibilities

Talk to the constellations
They miss you
They love you

Let me see your shadow move
Are you alive
in this unholy night

I love you too
I miss you too

I twinkle
I sparkle and ponder

Being positive doesn't help
because you are depressed and suicidal
no one listens
every time you try and speak
your tongue
curls up
it swims down
your stomach
lays there
till you fall asleep
it comes back to you in a dream