I'm so destructive
I need to break something
I used to break myself

did what I had to do

should've jumped out the window
when I was twelve

what's it good to cry now
crying won't fix anything

I have a feeling in my gut
not everything will be okay

and I was right
miracles don't exist

I know I must be punished
I know it's all my fault

I sincerely apologize this time

I carried so many lies
all the webs are stuck inside my throat

I feel suffocated everyday

no one to blame but myself

I still love to see you
I just wish you didn't see me

In times like these
I wish I was faceless

if it's raining
I can't see
if it's raining
I can't feel

is it even real

the clouds of yesterday
don't look the same today


it's colder
it's grey

another sad weekend
without you

I can't feel
I can't see
I can't hear

some nights I call the wind
she runs into my arms

I've lost all the stars
when I let you go
it wasn't enough

our sweet goodbye
thinking back
I want to cry

sometimes I'll cry with the rain
she doesn't dream of me
never saw my pain

wondering
will she miss me now

I will give her the sky
endless
and she will find me

all my friends push me away
I know they're not okay

I sit and wait
till they return

I feel so alone
do we not have trust?

it's so exhausting  
you're so depressing

I know
I've been there

they will learn soon
if they keep pushing
people will leave

I really want to

if I'm not in your sweet dreams
I hope you find me in your nightmares instead

dreaming of heads
I saw yours on my shoulder

why can't I be warm

haunting me
you're still in my brain

did you ever look at me this way

can't go back
I can't go back
just to see you one last time

show up at the wrong time

reminded

you're not the one
but I want you to be

I don't know who I am

couldn't tell you my name

I'll lose you again

everyone is temporary

I'll just die

I can't be myself

call me by a name

one that doesn't suffer

I'll lose myself losing you

I stopped hearing the rain

it's sad

not being able to feel a thing

waiting for the world to end

I'll burn myself into dust

When I can't sleep
my mind wonders
of us

love your smile
time with you
is all I think about now

Every where I go
You're on speed dial

so warmed up
I can't hang up

I hug the streetlight
in hopes that you'll see me

Lighting up

The street's are covered in darkness
and the clouds are partly visible

The sky looks grey

I'm afraid
I live in a ghost town

Where no one knows their name
or where to go

We can't find home

And money is little

An orange hue
is glowing from far away

The storm's remains are dripping from the ceiling

I've realized it's only my street
without light

I'm hoping the stars come out soon
It's midnight

The silence is almost chilling

I wish I could remember my name


It's washed away
somewhere inside a puddle

I'm loving the way
I destroy myself

I'm loving the way
I can't breathe

I don't talk in my sleep
I wake up in the middle of the night

I know he hides
somewhere in the corner of my eye

I'm loving the feeling
I'll torture myself knowing it hurts you too

I'm in love with the feeling
heartless heart

I don't know why
I can see the devil standing by my side

he says it's right
I should be greedy

take advantage of all the good things
I don't talk in my sleep

I know it's wrong
even if I love it

I sang you a beautiful song

I wasn't listening

now I saw everything you said

I think I was so mislead

could give us a chance

if there's still time

say you want to try

say you're still here

so I can go

you know all the good songs

where are you

say you want it

can I go to you

didn't believe it

now you're gone

DID I DO SOMETHING WRONG

I'LL NEVER KNOW

WHAT IS RIGHT

WHAT IS WRONG

maybe tomorrow I'll wake and be the person I want to be
maybe I won't make the same mistakes

I wish I didn't have to see my face
why must I speak out loud

Living the city
love isn't pretty
I hope the light
that blinks in the sky
is a star
but I know it's
an airplane
not to far
cold houses
dark rooms
I hide in my closet
from you
smells like pine trees
in my bed
you want to
change everything
about me

I don't like me

Living in the city
I can't breathe
I can't sleep

Waking up early
leave to have a few hours of being free

It's raining black rain
I guess we're all in pain

He says I want this to be over
But every body does

No money
Tough life
Sad job
Tough Times

He says everything
Will be better once were together

But really
We all need a new start

And they're starting from
The bottom to top

Everything goes slow
But time is running out

He still hasn't moved out
So when is Daniel
Gonna come ?

Family problems
They seem endless
But still
We hold ourselves
I love
Them all

I come and go
doesn't feel so good
the guilt washes away
summertime
I have to drown my mind
living underwater
no one can see me now
I'm here and there
I want to stay
I want to go
leave all by myself
leave me all alone

see new places
new faces

how much more of my life can I throw away

my feelings are hurt again
confused at 3 AM
tell me
did you ever love me more than a friend

I don't know
if I want to miss you
a little bit more

you left so fast
I forgot you were ever in my room

you're the
weeds growing inside my heart

keep trying to tear you apart
from the top and to the root

it was different
everything
with you

sorry
I keep thinking about you

you cursed me
I can't sleep

my anxiety is killing me
inside out

even as I watch the world fall and crumble
I can't help but hate myself

pathetic and lonely

I can see all my enemies laughing

yet
I refuse to give them the satisfaction
seeing me dead in a casket

even if I grow old and miserable
I want them to know
I walk with my head high

I'm so empty
I barely care about anyone or anything

I'll have to thank them for keeping me alive

Wish I was your stars
wish I was the moon

No not today
I can't be
not for a second

Can't give myself fully to you
I'm a half moon

I want to give myself to you
Don't take it personal
I'm a mess

I wish I was complete

Love the sun
Love the clouds

You can't love me
I'm a half moon

To the ocean
To the skies

I'm a half moon
I could never give myself fully to you

Try again
Try again
I can't do this my only friend

Trying again
and again

The pressure
my veins are weakening
Oxygen inside my body draining

I tried again
not so great

My final day

Everything is falling
I can't stop it from raining

Now it's pouring
Overflowing

I can't control it

will they bring me happiness or pain

a sorry question to ask

they'll bring both
and make it worth your time

a tearful answer

why don't you step up to me
call me out
playing you
it's so much fun to do
I'm only doing it on purpose
so I can get you to notice

got so many drafts
I can't complete
so transparent
I can see what your about to say
I can see it's going to rain
even though the sun is melting

we'll only last this century
by 2100
were gone

I want to be on your good side

Don't worry
I know you'll never love me

Soft space
tears on my face

I won't tell you
about the storm clouds in my head

Don't you love my darker side

I got demons
that have no place to go

I want the bright side

I give you all my emotions

Showing you all things hidden
my heart
is found

I know you have your eyes set on someone else

I'm following you
automatically

I want to be on the same path
You choose to take

I can't ever get past it

I don't want to feel like I'm hanging around

Please tell me something

I know you'll never know me

Soft dreams
believing
but also grieving

isn't it beautiful
to look forward to see someone

isn't beautiful
to imagine a day
that we can be together

will
you take my hand

I will
take your head

tell me
everything

everything
you know

everything

everything
you don't

it's so beautiful

you're so beautiful

I have no voice

So i write every thought

I failed all the things
My family wants

I kept taking shortcuts

The story keeps getting worse

it hasn't rained in so long
I miss you but now you're gone

I never thought I'd need anyone
till I met you

I cry so hard
my body shakes

I haven't felt the rain hit my body
I miss you I miss you

dare I say
I love you

all these hidden feelings
all this wasted thinking

hurts to let you go
hurts that you let me go so easily

wish I could hurt you
I hope you're a tiny bit miserable like me

maybe I wasn't the best for you
that I know

but you were
all I wanted

I want to love you
but now you're gone

you're a kind of soft
I've never felt before

making me
discover new parts to myself

teach me how to play chess
I'd love to learn

you show me
sweetness and comfort

beautiful love

I'm itching to destroy

I'm destructive
I love to build you up
and knock you down

hope you recover well
please don't take it personal

I wonder where you keep your heart
I can't find it

looking everywhere
I got lost

seeing you makes me crazy
I'm having trouble

you say you're fragile
I can put everything back to it's place

beautiful stranger
there you are

I know
we're better off apart

I won't fall

my neck still burns

he made me crumble and fall

he ruined my life

why did he touch me without my permission

I can't erase it from my head

I can't sleep

I can't eat

why did he ruin everything

my skin still burns

how much longer
when can I wash this disgusting feeling away

why did he do this to me

I almost convinced myself it was my fault

turned everything into anger
I wish I could **** him

I hope I ruin his life

the damage is done

he haunts me now

I'm so scared  

to feel this weak and broken

Everything is embarrassing

turn your cheek
you're beautiful
I'm so jealous
you're so radiant

I'm not your soulmate

how can I believe

if I've lost my soul

don't wait up on me

I'll never learn to love and care

how can I believe it

a delicate soul

all I feel is a void

I can't see it

there's no one for me

if I am no one
for someone

I can't make a promise
I can't promise anything to anyone or myself

I can only hope to rest
and wake up to a new light
be welcomed
Live a different day

I can't promise

I can only hope

I don't believe

I want to see it happen

Good night

god save me
i never get better
if you hear me
show me the way
why is it so hard to live
you created the perfect world
why did you ruin it
all these pessimistic feelings
wasted thoughts
lost and delusional
greed and guilt
running through our veins
let me see through your eyes
I want to look at myself entirely
show me the ways you adore us all
could you call my name
will it sound the same
I didn't need to suffer
all so I can learn
a painful lesson
I don't hate the creation
I hate the creator

\ heaven is a dream \

|||

/ hell is our reality /

I won't sleep
Until i feel my eyes burn
Off this white screen

I can't sleep
Yawning

I need to feel half awake

wish I could make money off poems
money doesn't grow on words

somedays I don't see the sun
the moon hides away

feels like I'm a curse
I wish I was alone

I feel guilty for lying
the only way no one can judge me

too protective
too embarrassed

never wanted to get older
left myself somewhere dark

wish things were different when I was young
nothing can be done

I see the earth change
I still stay the same

I saw the tree outside grow green again
I'm feeling weak

filled with doubt
filled with regret
filled with new insecurities

the earth wakes
falling asleep
it's raining

everything is changing

I can't adapt to anything

Were tied together
By a thin string

I came back
You turned your back

Wrap your blanket around me

Bring me breakfast please

Let's go
To the city
208 miles away

Where i left my friends
And head

Doesn't anyone smell it
My rotten dying heart
It's coming apart

Take your arms off me

Turn off the music

Listen to the faint beat

Don't you see

My eyes
Don't shine like they once did

Let us go
To the place where
I opened
My soul

And put it back where it belongs

small bites
he wants to be right
she likes to do nothing
I wait forever
let's change
we ask
when

small steps
why
I'll fall over and over again
his hit
his ego
I bought a bow and arrow
let me know
when you don't feel like the best

I might never know how
tell me why
is he always right
the day she moves on
I'll be dead in my next life far away
I hope
maybe not
his ego will corrupt him
what a pretty boy
I wish he never spoke

all alone
shooting arrows
I can be the scale
moving with the wave
I can see what's wrong
I'm never wrong
they can guess
they're out of line
follow my view
it's good for you

i like all sorts of toxic scents

gasoline
cigarette smoke
chlorine

but the one that messes with me the most

is your perfume
that makes me go back to you

I must learn to love
It's not to late
to love


Coming down
I'll come down from the clouds

I see you
and see myself

It's okay to think about death


I tell myself
When i think about dying in
My own hands



Yet never getting
To bleed



It's okay to be
Unbalanced
Completely thrown
Off
Wanting to end it
All

I missed you last month
last week
last Saturday
and Sunday
today
and tomorrow
maybe forever

- -                        - -           - -

but I do not miss you
I miss the moments we spent together
and wish to live them again

don't imagine
I'll change the temperature units

I'm stuck in celsius now

you drive in miles
I don't know

all the little differences
I want to cry
I'm too tired to

I'm trying for me
not for nobody

at least I'm trying

sleeping early
I let her go
learning
I said I love you
goodnight

don't think
I won't change
I will

I'm slowly
trying

I still frown
but I smile behind my mask

I can see so clearly
I might cry tomorrow morning

I'm just happy
and so sad

recovering
bits of healing
in my breakfast

I'll go into your room
it's darker
there's too much sun in mine

I've never been excited for the next months to come

don't say
what I miss so far

everyone is changing
everything is dying

the world is in pain
I'll recover and heal
I'll wait to love it back to health

everyone is growing
everything is the same

he will stay in farenheit
I don't mind

Oh how I miss the rain
in this pouring sunlight
that heats up my bed

I miss the way it sounds

Happy birthday

can we start working on forgiveness

the 26th
happy birthday

maybe
I'll say something

I only care about myself

we should work things out

I want forgiveness

happy birthday

I won't call you
until next month

I'm sure you're spending a good day

I don't want your money
I want your good morning
and goodnight

please don't forget me
the memories
are fading

give me your worst
give me your best

give me a little love from you

I want your rain
your everything

a little love from you

give me your fire
your sorrow

the memories
aren't new

the days I spent my life with you

I'll always remember that good side of you

you painted a starry sky
on your nails
and the reflection in your eyes
says everything you hide

not sure what to do
I wish I could be with you

be well
sometimes listening to your heart
can break you apart

and if you think it's love
it may not feel like love

open your sad eyes

the world is waiting for you