I hope you find me
but I'm playing
hide and seek

I love disappearing
I love being a mystery

I've seen you before
and you've only heard my voice

Playing hide and seek
I hope you find me


|||

But I am so hidden away

I can't see someone face to face

Why are you so afraid ??

I'm just writing out my feelings
                                                   !!!

I know you can't come today
why don't you tell me your looking away
why don't you show me
tell me where to go

I haven't seen the moon
cloudy  afternoon
it was going to rain maybe snow
I don't really know
I've been thinking about you
not so much as I use to

I found new friends
the space you had in my head has been replaced

Your no longer running in my dreams
hiding behind the bed sheets

Stop running away
It's better to face them
I'm finally over it

I'm sorry I didn't spend time with you
the days by the lake we had a few

if the hope inside us hadn't died
all we needed
was the happiness missing

take out your guitar
I've got a song or two

there's not enough time
the endless sunset can follow us home

it never does
scared away
home was full of darkness

I want to go some place with you
I'll read a book
and hear you play all afternoon

our time together
long gone

so strange
we never knew
how fast the moment would pass

laying in the grass
staring into the water

let's stay there
a while longer

I loved you
Once upon a time

once I love you
you're my god

I've never
met someone
so perfect
flawless

you're the faith
I'm looking for

you're the light
at the end of the tunnel

you're the answer to my prayers

devoted to
this love

no one can change my mind

I'm yours
I'm yours

save me
please save me

I'll sacrifice
everything

Can't give you my best
Because then I think
You'll leave

Can't tell you my
Weakness
Because then I
Think You'll take
Advantage

I have to hide my
Pain
So you won't laugh

I think I'll
Pretend my whole life

Shining summertime
A heavy, living cloud swims
into the flower

come and find me

you never look for me

why are you hiding

you make me heartless

these feelings bother me

come and see me

she's not looking

it's so right

feels wrong

don't want your whole life
just want a moment

share this
with me

a memory I can keep
one I will remember forever

every place is temporary
birth and death are permanent

I can't get rid of thoughts
you wish to know everything
regretful wishes you make

you want a fairytale
I can't be your fantasy

wake up
I want you here

if we cherish this
tomorrow will be worthless

comparison kills you
you place yourself so low

pick the petals off me
I look so pretty
till I'm torn apart

hoping for the best
when I feel the worst

I'm so tired of myself

hard to wake up
everyday in this skin suit

where do I go now
don't like counting down the days

november whispers to me
in a quiet dream

reality breaks my heart
recreating our last days in my head

I'm a little tired
hope some sleep will help me

I'm a walking tragedy
he knows
we know
I see him in the corner of my eye
peeking through the curtain
I know he's looking
I dreamed
wished upon a blinking star
let me hear his thoughts
I'll never know

use my earrings
may I borrow your lips
take care
so lonely
I'll love you
you will need space
to handle the magnitude
the heaviest you will feel
is with my care and attention

I'm the pouring rain
in this summer heat
I remind myself
to not stick so close
you will melt away
I'll take away your breath
watch your steps
I hear them all
Don't fall
I'll watch you break to pieces
pick a dagger
to hurt you even more

the warmth of love
I swallow
+
easy for me to fall away
easy for me to breathe and fall out of love

you can borrow my heart
no ever keeps it

She cried
But she was growing
She knew she would be home soon
The dark moments always come
And she would always cry
But soon she would be in someones arms
And she'll sleep good
Cause at home she would
Have the people
She loves most

It's too far
Far from being out
Its too much of my heart
For she can see
Yet she might feel pity
While I feel happy
Then you see my name
And it's not
Really me
So what I can say
Oh I'm just fake
Like everyone these days


Because my poems
Are my thoughts
And if she reads
Them its too much
We're close
But far
Because I
Can't trust her enough

Have you lost your faith in love
broken heart

Nothing like a dead rose
to make me feel lonely

baby you're not here to hold me

Dark thoughts
in loud crowds


Cloudy skies
warm rain
reminds me of your last kiss

I've lost faith in all
without you

set me free

you know I have no tomorrow

stuck in a loop
I don't change anymore

set me free

I'm a disappointment
don't look

I know it's all my fault

set me free

I will fall

splattered all over the floor

set me free

drowning in a bathtub

set me free

I'll be waiting in the darkness

Just a girl
With a thousand problems

With no one to love
Everyone leaves her
& forgets her

No one to talk
The feeling of guilt
All the time

Its only a matter of time
She'll start going crazy soon

White
Is too pure
For my kind

I am too broken
But I am caring

Red was everything to me
Because it was everything
I would see

And lastly

Blue because
I wanted  to drown
In an ocean
Of depression

how do I validate my feelings
I know everyone is feeling the same

everyone is going through it
we fall and get back up

even then
it's hard to say hello

we bare it until we explode
automatic happy machines

come back
I'm losing myself
I forgot what makes me smile

let me feel artificial love
swallow the sunlight
I had a dream
I can't remember

we're the same
we're so disconnected

I'm no poet
I know no poems

I'm no writer
I write no words

I'm no artist
I have no art

running away from all the titles
my friends like

I turn off the lights
and if no one loves me
I'll go to sleep

I disappear all the time
hoping I can see the future

I see my name
in someone else's face

it feels strange

turning off all the windows
closing the lights
switching on the sun at night
push the moon into the pool
of my confusion

july makes me weak
feeling like summer

I don't belong anywhere

Pretty darling
lips and face

asking for someone
who carries cigarettes

that's never enough

behind my back
I can smell the rush
of smoke

I made promises
that became silent tears

darling
your room
smells full of drugs

what's on your mind
are you clean
overlooked
you have a cloudy brain

I've made promises
I never give you anything

bitter love
I recognize the sorrow raining in your eyes
into your mouth
out your nose

are you awake
can I take a peek inside your head

wonder what you were thinking
how many days did you look at me
not knowing my name
how many days was I nameless in your eyes

maybe I hate that you're not mine

let's watch a movie
let's drink together
let's spin in circles until the moon falls

asking you the question of the day
why can't we be friends ?

screaming louder
why is she better ?

crawling around
my head

feels fuzzy
feels familiar

I held a pen
when I was twelve
and I never let it go

burned off
half my soul

I don't know who I am
no one knows me


I feel it
breathing
running inside
my mind

never goes away
in my sleep
in my conversations
spaced out

feels like a spiral

just like the day I found it
I can't separate
I can't forget

She just wants someone to love her
Her kids forgot her
So she talks to an *******
For a few days
Let's him play music
Over the phone
And closes her eyes
To embrace the moment
She never felt real love
It's getting late
The moon comes up
A silver hair
Grows onto her scalp
So she plays with men's hearts
First person I've met
Who breaks them for fun

The sun comes up
And her bones grow weak

The song at the end of the line
Ends and she turns mean

She just wants to love
Dance
Be young again
With limitless
Possibilities

A fountain of honest love
As the days pass by
She must accept
It was not made for her

i'm getting so

caught up seeing

you everywhere

in my brain

even if i hold my breath you won't go away

i can't swim away from you

each time i get closer i see the surface of the pool

your waiting for me

i'm trying so hard

and i let the filter

catch all these bad thoughts

so i won't have to go back up

it's almost fall

and you say i'll freeze to death

i was preparing myself for this



and i won't need anyone's warmth

just the sun's

you love me in my dreams

I knew it wasn't true

you stood tall
I won't forget

I didn't trust you in my dream

I try to escape
the feelings of the seeing you again

your name echos in my dreams
it's been four years

you still exist in my dreams

oh satan I think I love you
love you more

we're chasing the far away clouds
in a purple sky
it doesn't matter if we feel alive
going up and down
we'll be fine

putting you first
so much it hurts

you'll never be my good morning text
goodnight kiss

but I'll be your firefighter
saving you from danger

I'll burn myself
lose my breath

give it all to you instead

back then
when I didn't take pictures
all those moments are lost

slipping away inside a sand timer

do people change
do people grow

am I still the same person
I was months ago

I lose everything
I lose everyone

no one is mine to keep

One thousand eyes searching in the sky

Is there a drop of rain

On the other side
there's a hurricane

we hate the sun
we hate a storm

Beneath the creek
lay my lost bones


I'm floating around

I need to sleep for a while
wake me up in three years

cried myself awake
crying, waking up

another dream
another bad dream
strangers
strange places
haunting me

fading away
fading away
fading away
fading away
fading away
fading away
fading away
fading away

I can't look away
I can't look away

what did you do to me
what does it do to me

she painted her nails red
she didn't have red lipstick

You want a flower to bloom
Every day you check on it
It looks like it's not changing
Anytime soon

It's changing colors
The stem is breaking
The bees don't like it's pollen
So they take nothing

The flower is weak
It wishes
But cannot
change
Into a different plant

The leaves have fallen

It's feeling broken

The air seems to carry it
wherever it wants to take it

The flower wants to bloom
But it doesn't know how to
__

It feels like its growing smaller
It's not getting any taller
It doesn't understand
Why its color changes
Whenever not wanted

tired of loving you
you pressed me like a flower
still growing
I'm still breathing
what are you thinking
I can't move
tear me apart
I'll find my roots
find myself far away from you

I see
Your wings fell off

Nothing I can't fix
My love

It's the morning
I have no dreams

I guess you're stuck with me

I'm never going to feel guilty

The day I do
I'll bleed

You made me cry
Cold tears
I don't know how

The voice in my head
Says you're mean
It's probably just me

I've been thinking what I need

Nothing matters
Nor do I

Only the sun
And the sky
The earth
The stars
And life

We don't matter
It's us against us
No ever wins
A game with no ending

I'll be sticking with
Me

It's morning I should sleep

You're like the fog
The further I go
The more I see

that old pink folder
have long have you kept it
under my nose

all the trauma
came to me in waves
harder it crashed against me

pushing me back
into those dark memories
how long will I keep forgetting

pretending it's normal

was it normal to never ask me
if I was okay

no one said nothing

and neither did I

my biggest mistake
is being kind to everyone
but myself

It won't be long
the light inside
will shine so bright

It feels to dark here
candles burning out

You've made it this far
the sun coming up
going down

If it weren't for you
the moon wouldn't hang around

It won't be long till the stars come out
and play

whispering stay
stay

If you leave
all we'll see is a black sky
You're the only star I want to see in the daylight


It won't be long
Please hold on

You'll come back again

I can't do this
I feel like I can't do it
I'm screaming inside my head
I want to jump off a bridge
I see myself crying
in an empty room
hoping I'll see
the super blue blood moon
I've built walls
I can't see the stars
the moon is away
everyday feels
like a new skit
I can't do it
have I become a failure
I was ready to let go



I'll forever hold on

my best advice is
buy flowers in the cold
the flowers never grow old

weeks pass
they still hold themselves together

a vase without water
eternal flowers

reminding me of the eighteenth of november

if i'll be honest
i'll be honest now

it's very scary
but i want to say it

i don't care if you feel the same anymore
i just want you to know

maybe then
this heavy feeling can go away

i know forever isn't real
but i'll believe/

if it was you

if it was you

I want to go to places we've never been before

I forget you've seen the whole world

I sometimes see a light under the door
from the corner of my eye

It's pitch black in my room

You're a lightning bolt
I'm the thunder

Let's make a storm
We always hurt ourselves

I got a fever
I'm cold

I want to be with you

You're not around

It's 7 o'clock

Where's our love

I want to give you the world
You've already got it

I can't give my soul

Where's your love

she's 16
says there's something in the rain
tumbling down into the drain
I find her hidden dreams

she's sixteen
there's something in the way she says
feel the wind
calling out my name
I found her in the winter snow

she's sixteen
dead flowers are her favorite
she was only visiting

sweet child
don't speak
hideaway
death is in everything