Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
146 · Oct 2021
misplaced
eileen Oct 2021
misplaced
how long can you try
before all of it
becomes a goodbye

open and closed
I should go
I should go

I torture myself a little more

is it a little better or worse
you were never mine

how many more days will pass till you ask me
if I'm okay

I'll pretend
everything is perfectly fine

I should stay
I should stay

he was right
the silence is loud

all the loud noises
I took for granted

the time we called
at 6 am
is too far away to remember now

I love too quiet
when I love
I tiptoe
I don't want your heart to know

one day
I'll be loud
one day I'll say it
Continue reading...
146 · Jan 2019
Super Blood Wolf Moon Eclipse
eileen Jan 2019
Super Blood Wolf Moon Eclipse
Those who want life die
\\
Those who want death live
10w
Continue reading...
146 · Dec 2017
Eve
eileen Dec 2017
Eve
You said you saw me last night
Must have been someone else

I've been asking myself late at night
Am I alive?

Or is my breathing fake

A lost head

I keep reaching out to your fingers
I'm slipping away
From the light
Far into empty space

Am I alive

I want to cry
I want to feel warm
Stand in the sunlight
This new year

I just need your advice

Am I alive?
Continue reading...
146 · Nov 2017
ideservethis
eileen Nov 2017
ideservethis
It's already midnight
oh no just six in the afternoon

I have spider webs on my wrists
you seem to be stuck to

tracing the drawings on my arms
that won't erase

I'm halfway down
the bottom of the ocean
where no one will
come looking

there's no sun
no stars
I'm not going to care

if the surface is a reality
and I'm not breathing

I'll meet infinite darkness
finally
Continue reading...
146 · Oct 2021
blue hearts
eileen Oct 2021
blue hearts
you're so cold
please stay warm

you don't ever listen
are you real or part of my imagination

I cover my tattoos
if you love me
I'll hate myself again

I'll ask you a question
I know the answer to

I've known you for a while
why are we still strangers

like two people passing eachother
on a busy street

I don't think we'll ever meet

twist
around
go to bed

maybe I'll find your heart tomorrow
Continue reading...
146 · Jul 2021
dreams of you
eileen Jul 2021
dreams of you
i miss the sound of your voice

i saw you in my dreams last night
i can't tell you
what i did

i'll stay
till you tell me to go

i don't think you will
you don't know how to let go

i love the version of you
i created in my head

don't talk
you'll ruin everything

i want you to be
who i want you to be

why can't you be
the perfect boy i imagined

obsessions
i'm summoning you in my dreams
before i go to sleep

i hope you don't care about me anymore

i follow you
around like a fool

i like the feeling
of losing you
Continue reading...
146 · Apr 2020
suffer alone
eileen Apr 2020
suffer alone
in all this suffering
in this quiet
silence

don't forget we're so small
looking out to the sky
the moon towers me

I know they're out there
looking down on me
I'm feeling like nothing
reversed
Continue reading...
146 · Oct 2017
drafting II
eileen Oct 2017
drafting II
straight lines
that unwind you

doesn't really mean that I love you
Continue reading...
146 · Oct 2021
forget me I'll forget myself too
eileen Oct 2021
forget me I'll forget myself too
wish you liked me
so I could like myself

it's hard to navigate
through this world
alone

I'm not sure
if I exist
it's hard to recognize myself

I wish you'd love me
so I could love myself

it's hard to learn something good
all I know is the bad

I'm hiding away
from the stars and the moon
I don't want to see them anymore

we never change
we never will

wish you could see me
so I could see myself

hard work for a confusing life

no reason
moments fade too soon

eyes teary
losing my hearing

all my wishes will crush into a black hole
**** me so I can **** myself
Continue reading...
146 · Jul 2019
caleidoscopio
eileen Jul 2019
caleidoscopio
Give me your hands
it's cloudy again

plenty of life
surrounded by
leaves  
yellow butterflies
birds and pigeons choking me up

one tree is all I need

I didn't forget about you

don't fall
don't die

give me your heart
it's sunny now

death follows
surrounded by
a dying star

all I see is green
Continue reading...
146 · May 2018
he said
eileen May 2018
he said
he likes the little things
I don't think he sees the sun
nor the flowers bloom
it's all about driving around


you want money
I'll give you everything

I'm desperate for you

you let no one in

feel like I'm talking to you through a window

he likes the lights
wondering will when you'll let me in
I'm a burning candle

sometimes I wonder
Continue reading...
146 · Mar 2019
black umbrella
eileen Mar 2019
black umbrella
cold wind
open up the windows

I want to feel it

cold thunder
bitter rain

my fingers are frozen

I still see you deep in my dreams
wearing a hoodie

we are nothing
yet we affect everything
everyone I touch dies

no one wants to be my friend
I've already seen this before

I'm always blind
I know why
I just like bad endings

feels like everyone is here
I'm so cold
we are in noir

open the door
there's a storm outside

everyone I touch turns cold
cold lightning
cool thunder

I'm so bitter
Continue reading...
146 · Oct 2021
if I could see you
eileen Oct 2021
if I could see you
is it so bad to want you

midnight
thinking about you

all the things we did together

I don't want to be alone
I hate spending time without you

getting lost in my head
one of these nights
I'll message you goodnight or good morning

I have to die
I'll never know if you feel the same

would love to hear your voice again
would love to sleep with you on weekend

is it true

I don't understand
Continue reading...
146 · Feb 2019
Earth is depressed
eileen Feb 2019
Earth is depressed
Earth is so heavy
we fall into empty space
Earth is dark
we lose the sun
Earth is loud
we won't hear it coming
Earth is sad
she's weak
she's not happy
how we're losing our way

The oceans are going away
the land is crashing against one another
the air is sick
we don't see it coming

Earth is sad
you're sad
she tries to give you her life
only society rips it apart

Earth is lonely
heartbroken
Continue reading...
146 · Apr 2018
Draft
eileen Apr 2018
Draft
Feels like I never left
I know that at the end of the street lights
You get closer
Continue reading...
146 · Feb 2019
answer
eileen Feb 2019
answer
I saw God
ruthless
brutal
loving
carried myself
without him
///
I saw a God
cold
cruel
cares less
walking alone without him
Continue reading...
145 · Oct 2018
frozen hands bitter heart
eileen Oct 2018
frozen hands bitter heart
my veins are collapsed
I lash out
when I lose
this isn't living
I don't think I like you

staring at my feet
can't get out of this heat
but it's zero degrees

I'm feeling fine
for an hour or two

I remind myself
I'm broken in two

I'm trying to get out of the city
but
there's no living without me

can't keep breathing
as you cut my lungs

all is well
I'm bruised

I can't find myself
with the sky covered in gloom

where's the moon
the sun is acting strange

closing all the windows
all the cutting wind comes in
Continue reading...
145 · Mar 2018
Tomorrow
eileen Mar 2018
Tomorrow
I wonder if you're faking it
You asked me what my poem meant
I had forgotten it
You're all so focused on the person
On the screen
That you haven't even bothered
To look at the one behind it
The sky is clear
The air is clear
The stars are brighter
They look closer not higher
I wished we lived in darkness
We shouldn't be so afraid
We put light everywhere we step
Soon we'll glow the whole planet
Continue reading...
145 · Aug 2016
Famous
eileen Aug 2016
Famous
The many girls around the world
Mourn for his attention

But he shows no
Affection
Continue reading...
145 · Aug 2020
intruder
eileen Aug 2020
intruder
I'm so destructive
I need to break something
I used to break myself

did what I had to do

should've jumped out the window
when I was twelve

what's it good to cry now
crying won't fix anything
Continue reading...
145 · Jan 2021
walking in circles
eileen Jan 2021
walking in circles
I'm the most indecisive perfectionist

you don't want to admit you hate me

can you change me

please tell me what to do
Continue reading...
145 · Feb 2019
cupid's broken arrow
eileen Feb 2019
cupid's broken arrow
my birthday passed
It doesn't last
I feel so bitter
I'm sorry I don't care
let me leave you
before you leave me
starry night
nostalgia
I can't get over this loneliness
love me more
I wanted them to love me more
my birthday passed
cupid's arrow
he couldn't reach me
broken
by my fortress
cupid's broken bow
how am I supposed to know
love me more
love me
even
if I don't
red becomes blue
when passion
love
comfort
hope
dies
Continue reading...
145 · Mar 2019
Wings
eileen Mar 2019
Wings
Keep me locked
everyone loves me without a tongue
It's not my last day
I'm still a blink from giving away

If I can't have my self
I don't want anyone else

If I can't love my reflection
Then I don't want to love you

I can't find my brain
to see you

Turn off the lights
Sleep alone
I've never felt so lonely
I don't know who I am anymore
Continue reading...
145 · Nov 2017
Midnight blue
eileen Nov 2017
Midnight blue
Soon
I'll be like you
Everyone likes you

One day
Everyone will
Know me too
Continue reading...
145 · Aug 2019
until you ask
eileen Aug 2019
until you ask
I like you
and it's vague

if you ask for my age
I'll respond with 38
will you still be my friend

I wait for you
and I won't say

if you ask for my age
I'll tell you the truth
will you stay

24
or
56

always
too young
or too old
for this
Continue reading...
144 · Dec 2019
taking care
eileen Dec 2019
taking care
when it's cold
I hope you're keeping warm

when it rains
I hope you catch a raindrop

if it's dark
reach towards the light you can find

when you miss me
I hope the feeling fades away

I won't see you again
Continue reading...
144 · Sep 2018
the sun and clouds
eileen Sep 2018
the sun and clouds
Dear friend,
I'm startled
I told you that I would send you one of my poems
I'm nervous
what if you look to into it

I'm hiding away
I hate to say this
but
I

never stay for long
Continue reading...
144 · Jul 2018
Tag you're it
eileen Jul 2018
Tag you're it
a flash of green
visions of blue

I've been so focused
everyone starts to fade away

waking up to a white light
I get cold through the night

expecting you to be beside me

should I believe we're friends
or should I think nothing

taking out my heart
thought you wanted it

keep on running
I know where you're hiding
Continue reading...
144 · Jul 2018
Lost in a dream
eileen Jul 2018
Lost in a dream
Can't decide if memories
are lost dreams

That I keep daydreaming

And if when I'm sleeping
I'm reliving moments from the past

I can never tell
I'm dreaming

Nor if I'm living
Continue reading...
144 · Aug 2020
they watched me die
eileen Aug 2020
they watched me die
what a cruel thing
to notice
and not say anything
10w
Continue reading...
144 · Sep 2021
you can still love me
eileen Sep 2021
you can still love me
at the end of the day
you don't deserve me
I don't deserve him

you're gone
not even two months have passed

will you really disappear
just like everyone else

I should stop loving
I should stop falling
for boys like you

I can't do this again

I still want to do all the things we said

don't you go
without saying goodbye

you're dying
and this love inside me is blossoming
Continue reading...
144 · Jul 2018
glitter
eileen Jul 2018
glitter
I love the words of a girl
Continue reading...
144 · Dec 2017
watermelon
eileen Dec 2017
watermelon
I've been thinking about Us
but there isn't any us
It's you
and me
not combined
only separately

what do I have to do to get your attention
look I wish you listened to me
I've been trying to tell you
  you may be the one
for me
I've been thinking
the way you talk to me
the way I feel when I'm around you

you catch me
make me fall
all in one

I've been thinking about you
will you give it up

will you be my darling
Continue reading...
144 · Jul 2018
Chemicals
eileen Jul 2018
Chemicals
In love with feeling
Not you
I'm no fool
I don't ever fall

Won't wake up broken

Dollar bills
All we do is chase paper

She wants my money
I want to give her everything

In love with the feeling
Have no feelings

Don't want to fall asleep broken

I'm obsessed
Can't let go it go
Don't want to leave you alone
Continue reading...
144 · Oct 2021
was I never afraid
eileen Oct 2021
was I never afraid
months have passed
I don't like admitting it

please don't make me say
how I've been thinking about

the little things
you did
they still make me smile

I can't forget
the flowers are still inside my chest

you can come back now
come back now

I'm tired of waiting

please don't come back
I don't need that

did I plant flowers inside your heart
are they dead
can I press them
Continue reading...
143 · Mar 2018
Behind trees
eileen Mar 2018
Behind trees
Wish you would fall with me
But I'm alone falling
I can hear the snoring
Sleeping with music
One day rain
One day sun
It's confusing us all
One day stars
One day clouds
Let's fall into the trees
I'm in a pause
I can't move
All I remember is your
Hands under my skirt
Making me feel lovesick
Butterflies in my stomach
Coming out of my mouth
Let's be lovesick
I'm falling
Need you to fall with me
Continue reading...
143 · Dec 2015
Company needed for nothing
eileen Dec 2015
Company needed for nothing
All you wanted was a hug
And someone to come

But you needed to get up
Yourself

To realize
You don't need no one
Continue reading...
143 · Oct 2017
dumdum
eileen Oct 2017
dumdum
you're such a cliche
didn't think I would say

saying that you would love to die
but you don't

starting off the game
yet you never win
so you end up leaving home

I used to like you from far away
as I got closer I heard you say

well I wish I never did
Continue reading...
143 · Jul 2017
¿
eileen Jul 2017
¿
she so scared
she doesn't watch horror movies

Won't stay in a room alone

  Can't defend herself

I'm the complete opposite

I can't comprehend

Must be a world
Of silent pain
Continue reading...
143 · May 2018
All of me / zero of you - haiku
eileen May 2018
All of me / zero of you - haiku
I could give you the
world the stars the moon the sun
you give me nothing
Continue reading...
143 · Jan 2020
I will steal the moon
eileen Jan 2020
I will steal the moon
there are infinite days
now I miss the sky
now I miss the wind

upstairs
I let my shadow walk ahead of me

I miss the night sky
days I wished for clear skies wide eyes

a room without a window
feels like I'm wearing chains

is it raining
what's this feeling
I turn off all sounds
quiet down
I can slowly hear it now

if I walkout
I can hear the stars say
where did you go
we are here for you
Continue reading...
143 · Jan 2021
expectations & cooperation
eileen Jan 2021
expectations & cooperation
I wonder if they have expectations of me
Did they think so highly of me
What do they think of me
Who am i
I tried keeping my distance
I didn’t want any closing
Or friendships
Could’ve kept my mouth shut the whole time

He was friendly
He was nice
He was funny
He was helping
He is not what I thought he was

I’m torn
I hate myself
For trusting a man

I feel stupid and pathetic
innocent and naive

I know i can’t fix anything
If i don’t ask for help

I’m still a coward who wants to run away
My ego is big and I want to prove them wrong
I can’t do both and I can’t do only one

Cooperating
How if i have no reason

I don’t owe them anything
What does anything matter anymore

These past months feel wasteful

I want to throw every memory away

I can still feel his face in my neck

Whispering “do you like it?”
Continue reading...
143 · Jan 2016
Weird
eileen Jan 2016
Weird
She wasn't famous
Or known
For good or happiness

She was known for her depression

That's an example of saddness
Continue reading...
142 · Aug 2020
starving
eileen Aug 2020
starving
you make me feel guilty for eating
so I don't
10w
Continue reading...
142 · Jun 2018
Untitled // 25
eileen Jun 2018
Untitled // 25
I can't paint you a masterpiece
I can't write clearly
Continue reading...
142 · Sep 2020
dreaming a reality
eileen Sep 2020
dreaming a reality
if I ever leave

there's a million others
thinking about you

I'm not one

I am nothing

I accept it

I feel like everything

imagine a dream scenerio

where I can hear the waves

the wind picks up my spirit

I have it all
Continue reading...
142 · Mar 2019
ivory
eileen Mar 2019
ivory
I want everything I can't have
I have everything I don't want

white screens
blank space
static dream

can't love me

why love you

my hands are frozen
I've lost all concentration

all my meaning

around me

earth is crowded
perhaps
I need space
to embrace my loneliness

this is intoxicating
this is deranged

I never thought

I hate everything I have
I love everything I don't
Continue reading...
142 · Jun 2018
under the blue // haiku
eileen Jun 2018
under the blue // haiku
Shivering midnight /
A plain dream hides in water
/ swimming deep sleeping
Continue reading...
142 · Apr 2018
Reverie
eileen Apr 2018
Reverie
Is everyone ignoring me
feels like that to me
I understand
once you meet me
you wish you never did
I know
I always leave before
someone does
born in a ghost town
I had no friends around
if I catch a glimpse of someone
tired of me
I cut off all of our connections
disconnect
never see them
until it's been too long
If everyone is ignoring me
I'll turn blue
I'm no longer seventeen
feels so bittersweet
I'll wait
in a reverie
Continue reading...
142 · May 2018
\space out\ \
eileen May 2018
\space out\ \
today I took a shower and tried to remember how my life felt months ago

then I got out of the shower and realized I can't remember nor ever go back
to recall how I felt then
Continue reading...
Next page