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154 · Sep 2017
eileen Sep 2017
I can be your dream girl
I don't live in the real world

making sure you never wake up
keeping the lights off
we can go wherever you want
as long as it's in your mind

We can forever lucid dream
he said this love is beautiful
take some sleeping pills

I can be your dream girl
if you want to live in the dream world

taking sleeping pills
we don't ever have to wake up
go wherever we want
154 · Sep 2017
U r
eileen Sep 2017
U r
she said
being with you is
like standing on ice
surrounded by walls of fire

can't talk
tongue is paralyzed
couldn't close her eyes either
beauty so pretty

likes the heart
on her cheek

waiting for another
encounter
only to be standing in fire
with ice walls
154 · Oct 2021
spider webs
eileen Oct 2021
are we really friends
or are we lying

lying to my face
this isn't friendly anymore

I regret not losing you
when I had the chance

all those times
why didn't I give up

it's the worst
you stay for someone
who doesn't deserve it

making me feel stupid
stayed for someone who's worthless
now we're the same

happy now

I'm chained to you

are we really friends
I think I'm starting to hate you

would you care if I left

I'll dream of leaving you

wake up in misery
you're still in my life
154 · Dec 2019
ineffable
eileen Dec 2019
look around the sounds
then I decompose I grow
come into my world

it's good and evil
we know everything is death  
it's us we're stardust

celestial bodies
everything is life and death
I know how you feel
haiku
154 · Mar 2021
4 am
eileen Mar 2021
it hurts when you're all alone
you start to hear every little noise

something so quiet
or it's so loud

waiting for tomorrow to end
I feel like there's no beginning
154 · Sep 2022
no reciprocation
eileen Sep 2022
you're a sudden thunderstorm
lightning out of nowhere

the lights go out
I question the rain

where have you been
my dear

I thought I'd miss you forever
I never wanted to hate you but I did
I thought I'd love you forever

why's it have to be like that
we broke away so quietly

I didn't notice you leaving
waiting for you to come back
months passed
spring
summer
autumn will be the end

you're that dark cloud
looming over my apartment
while the sun shines on the other side

give it up
I don't miss you
I don't hate you
I don't love you
anymore

the storm will pass
154 · Nov 2017
under my bed
eileen Nov 2017
I felt like sleeping on the floor
forget about all the dirt that lays under

tomorrow is the future
today is our reality

I worry about next year
halfway through November

it's cold
a nightmare
appears in my dreams
why didn't I know

am I thankful
for what life has given me

no no
not really

I'm a bit sorry

no no
not really

everyone is so dull
so I lose my mind
somewhere down the line
153 · Jun 2021
missing you is the start
eileen Jun 2021
you're going to break my heart
what am I going to do
but sit here

now it's 2 am
hoping you were awake

looking over what you said
all the smiles I made

promise me
we will never run out of things to say

hope this doesn't have to end
it doesn't have to

I don't want to let in the fear

I dont want to be stupid either

but if I dare and imagine myself with you
will I be disappointed
153 · Dec 2018
Angelic Moon (Man)
eileen Dec 2018
My moon
my star
how are you doing
a year later
we miss you
rest well
I'll see you soon

Forgive me
I've fallen

There you are
to forgive me
accept me
look over me

Brighter than the galaxy
your heart didn't belong in this toxic atmosphere

You're gone
like a cloud

You're up in the clouds

You must know
we love you
hold us close
through our dark times
153 · Oct 2017
Pastel ghost
eileen Oct 2017
I must've drowned love
In my pool
She was beautiful

Sadness rescued me
And turned me into
A dead flower

Anger made see things
Hear things at strange hours

Oh but joy
He cared for me
died trying

I'm sure there's a ghost over my head
They like wearing a dark purple dress
153 · Dec 2017
A 7th sense
eileen Dec 2017
sometimes I wish we had green skin
and purple eyes
a sixth sense
wings to fly

we're just too simple
dull
when will I be able to
live underwater

have you opened your eyes
the whole world
is one big lie

Evil runs
the people
we'll never have control

when can I be invisible
read your mind
reach my hand
towards somewhere
inside this white screen
153 · Feb 2019
tbhk
eileen Feb 2019
can you be my princess
let me lay my head on your shoulder
for a while
can you be my lover
let me embrace your body

I'll spill my haunting secrets
don't expect to see me
in the morning
I'm off and on

so lonely
you became a star

playing hide and seek
under dreary clouds

I should try again
another day
152 · Nov 2017
avatar
eileen Nov 2017
the sacrifice
only to receive lies

hope you don't mind
the light that radiates

the conclusion
to a new beginning

my fingers stopped moving
for a lasting time

when I gazed at your eyes
I recognized me drowning inside

without you
I use to believe
I was nothing

the blank spaces
the space between your words
and the notes

I'm holding a torch
burning with my fears

I loved you here
I loved you there

I loved you
in sunlight
in the moonlight

underwater
in my veins
up in the clouds
in my head

they're out to catch
they won't find me
152 · Dec 2017
xxx-xxx-xxxx
eileen Dec 2017
I MISS the dumb stupid things we use to do

You're gone
gone
I know
I know


I'll admit it
in time

somewhere along the line

distracted
memories
rewinding

come back
crying

I love you
I'm dying

space in between
what once was

It's Her's

I refuse to accept the truth
I think I know what's wrong

I'm still holding on

What once was
152 · Jul 2018
Around dawn
eileen Jul 2018
Nothing makes me more happy

I'll be able to see my best friend
Before morning

Orion it's nice to see you again
Winter is coming
152 · Oct 2021
broken boy
eileen Oct 2021
I'm nothing but a sad boy
miserable, brooding, misleading

thinking about you when I'm all alone
when I have you I want to go

never satisfied
still curious

can I change
can I change
can I

can't focus
I wanted to find a heart

you're gone
I'm leaving now

trying to cry
terrified

loveless and lost
there's no where to go


what if tomorrow
what if today
my thoughts and memories drown
down the sink
152 · Nov 2017
BYE November
eileen Nov 2017
I held you tight in my arms
so warm
silently making me frozen

where will you go
I wish you didn't have to

I love holding you
making my hands dry
skins ripping apart

you're my best friend
I don't want to forget

I love you

I'll see you
next year
eileen Oct 2018
I can't make a promise
I can't promise anything to anyone or myself

I can only hope to rest
and wake up to a new light
be welcomed
Live a different day

I can't promise

I can only hope

I don't believe

I want to see it happen

Good night
151 · Aug 2018
The kill
eileen Aug 2018
Walking upside down
I'm alive in a moonless sky

It's never morning when I wake up

Feel so out of my head

When you figure it out
Come let me know

I'm the only one crazy

I've never figured it out
Please let me know
When you figure it out

I'm out of my head

Walking dead
It seems like a good thing

Jumping up and down
Never coming back to the ground

I haven't seen the sun in days

Half noise

Hurt myself
to deep

I'm always feeling like the opposite

Silhouettes lit on fire

Can't keep giving away my affection
Give you my attention

Come out
When you figure it out

I can't ever find the truth
151 · Aug 2018
simplified
eileen Aug 2018
smoke your cigarettes
behind me

I forgot
we don't know each other well
we pretend we do

you're the perfect daughter

does your father know
you're never out drinking water

I smell the cigarette smoke behind me

hours pass
aren't you tired of standing
of always lying

the mask you wear
falls when you look away

I can see past your facade

waste your money

you'll always be a kind of lovely

I don't want to be with you

don't love me
151 · Dec 2018
Lonely angel
eileen Dec 2018
Why do you love me
only
when we are in the house of god
?
151 · Apr 2019
mono
eileen Apr 2019
hello

I'm myriad
I'm infinite

My love is vast
My thoughts are endless
My hatred lasts for an eternity
I have no limits

Full on crash
Driving fast

I swing high
Touching the sky

I talk fast
no one understands

Daytime hot
frozen by night

I can be the sugar
cross the line
I'll turn bitter

I can't stop
all the possibilities

Don't stop
Eyes open
I'll sleep when I'm dead

Full on dreaming
when she's around

My skin is melting off
running away

What have they become
Becoming more than one
151 · Mar 2018
wish me luck
eileen Mar 2018
praying to all the gods
thunder almighty
lightning and rain fighting
to stop all this madness
snow caught falling to fast

hiding behind stars
doesn't seem too far
the sun is out
to burn the moon
don't think they get along so well

see you again
old friend
I still remember
your face
151 · Aug 2018
Water falls
eileen Aug 2018
It's raining in my room
I see a cotton candy sky outside

A plant died

A star on top of your head

The clouds fading away

Rain puddles on my bed

It's coming in through the cracks

Stones thrown
at my window

I'm living in a storm

Only in my room
151 · Dec 2015
Trying
eileen Dec 2015
I guess it starts slow
Slowly you know?

You're trying so hard
And yet no one notices
Your work

Maybe one day you'll
Become big
And everyone will
Love
&
Notice you
Then
150 · Jun 2018
Strawberry Moon
eileen Jun 2018
blowing breeze
June is passing away

I didn't notice the stars leaving
or the sky changing

I wanted to buy strawberries today
only to see one in the night sky
150 · Dec 2017
lift
eileen Dec 2017
wake up early
get off work
drink coffee

It's time to drive
for hours
in dry miles

Everyone leaves you
you're stuck
driving home alone
in the return

take care

wake up
go to work late
sleep in the car

I'm far away now

I leave everyone
without a warning

until you realize
I'm missing
you notice

wake up early
I'm alone
far from everyone
I use to know

Now I don't recognize myself
150 · Nov 2017
witched
eileen Nov 2017
If you could love me
would you stay

save me from the world
she can
save me from myself
she can't

It's you and I
walking through the
night

I started a fire
I can't remember

awake during the day
could the other me
be walking around
while I sleep

now I'm just possessed
never fearful of the dark

petrified of the beings hiding
from my view

tall shadows
falling short

not sure what's following me throughout
150 · Aug 2018
Answered
eileen Aug 2018
She writes in a way
I'll never be able to

I can't reach the surface

I must try again
She is waiting

I take my time
I never respond on time

Maybe she hates me
Maybe not

Everyone loves her
they love her poems

She writes a way
I can't reach

And I
So behind

Must find a way into her head

I love the way she writes about it

I can't even scratch the surface
150 · Dec 2015
A friend
eileen Dec 2015
What's your mom like I asked
She passed away he said

Your dad ?
He's in prison

Your life sounds complicated
Not really he said

Maybe it was that he was strong
Or just young & naive

He still acts silly
150 · Apr 2021
in your shoes
eileen Apr 2021
all my friends push me away
I know they're not okay

I sit and wait
till they return

I feel so alone
do we not have trust?

it's so exhausting  
you're so depressing

I know
I've been there

they will learn soon
if they keep pushing
people will leave

I really want to
150 · Jul 2018
Signs of the end
eileen Jul 2018
Where is this God
who everyone speaks of?

On vacation
Or in a eternal sleep

Maybe it's just a dead end
We'll die from global warming

And where is this devil
everyone is scared of

He doesn't seem to influnce us
It's those who are in power

Where is your guardian angel

Are we really corrupted
by demons and evil beings

Could it just be your head

Where is this God

Who'll punish all

////

I still pray for the end of times
But I still believe
149 · Aug 2019
wishing you well
eileen Aug 2019
make a wish
let the coin touch your lips
reach far
hear it splash
watch it drown
the gods will hear you out

you looked so hopeful
I ate all the happiness
you're so blue
you don't like darkness

I'm your last sacrifice
make your wish
kiss my cheek
slipping away
I'll take the dive
watch me drown
the gods hear me now
149 · Jan 2020
rats
eileen Jan 2020
scared to leave
waiting to starve
I'll never get far
10w
149 · Jun 2021
I thought finally
eileen Jun 2021
you're a kind of soft
I've never felt before

making me
discover new parts to myself

teach me how to play chess
I'd love to learn

you show me
sweetness and comfort

beautiful love

I'm itching to destroy

I'm destructive
I love to build you up
and knock you down

hope you recover well
please don't take it personal

I wonder where you keep your heart
I can't find it

looking everywhere
I got lost

seeing you makes me crazy
I'm having trouble

you say you're fragile
I can put everything back to it's place

beautiful stranger
there you are

I know
we're better off apart

I won't fall
149 · Aug 2019
8/19
eileen Aug 2019
head held high
the people won't mind
waving goodbye
I swallow the key
door locked

last thoughts
last chance
I'm the living sacrifice

water running
I hear the children laugh
the gates are closed

adrift
searching for my missing happiness
eileen Jan 2020
how do I validate my feelings
I know everyone is feeling the same

everyone is going through it
we fall and get back up

even then
it's hard to say hello

we bare it until we explode
automatic happy machines

come back
I'm losing myself
I forgot what makes me smile

let me feel artificial love
swallow the sunlight
I had a dream
I can't remember

we're the same
we're so disconnected
149 · Nov 2021
perfect ruining
eileen Nov 2021
I wish you heard my favorite songs
but you turned the volume down

all you ever did was talk about yourself

she really likes you
so why don't you like her

you reply so fast
and it shows you're offline

ready to cut the strings
she's coming back
she always wins

I'm the fool again
she's not good for you
I'm too good for her

keep walking in circles

you can erase me now
forget me now

I keep my word
we will never be friends
I won't ever see you again
148 · Jul 2018
Tea party
eileen Jul 2018
And I wish I could be the kind of girl
You like

The one who drinks tea
and isn't shy

I have messy hair
and my clothes doesn't reflect
who I really am

I hate the way tea tastes

But I would be more than happy
to throw a tea party
If you're invited
148 · Feb 2019
turn around
eileen Feb 2019
there's the moment I wait for
the moment she turns around
the moment she's distracted
why don't you have cryptic dreams about me
I'm two feet away
crying

she's the only one I love
she's moving on
leaving me all alone

she's the only one I know
I'm a fool
she is all I know
leave me alone

the week crumbles down my shoulders
I know everyone will ask me
ask me why am I letting everything rot around me

I'm feeling the heat of summer
I shiver when I sleep

now everyone is moving on
now everyone goes
everyone is turning around

the moment
is gone
she's looking at me
she sees right through me
she doesn't see me
and I became invisible
148 · Dec 2019
slow dance
eileen Dec 2019
you don't put a label

can't we dance
like everyone else

can't I hold your hand
without thinking it would be wrong

should I stay
or should I stay away

do you want me to close the door
or step inside

you don't put a label
I'm losing my mind

am I wrong
do I have it upside down
are you thinking something else

I hate feeling in-between
you don't pull me closer
I hope we don't grow further apart than this
148 · Dec 2018
happy holidays
eileen Dec 2018
I want to drag myself to the edge of the sky
the devil is towering over town
nowhere to be found

hiding under my blankets
living in a bathtub
life isn't want I wanted

life doesn't ever go the way I want it

It's not so easy to let go
the feelings
the trauma
the energy

every time I climb higher
I only go
backwards
148 · Jun 2018
it's not you it's me
eileen Jun 2018
I missed you last month
last week
last Saturday
and Sunday
today
and tomorrow
maybe forever

- -                        - -           - -

but I do not miss you
I miss the moments we spent together
and wish to live them again
148 · Oct 2017
drizzling
eileen Oct 2017
tell me what your feelin
tell me how to cope with it

call on u
calling me out too
forward in the sun
the wind blowing
in our faces
waves are still crashing
back home

tell me
lack of communication
no motivation
complications

sleeping in hotel rooms
you won't find me there

why won't you tell me

tell me
keeping me close

coming down
the guitar strums

eyes gently closed

we'll become ourselves
through each other
147 · Jan 2018
Alcohol
eileen Jan 2018
You're stuck in my mind
I wonder where am I

the full moon
blood
the blue moon
helped me get out of the trance

I wonder where I am
who am I

I know that

Where did you go
are you well

have you learned your lesson?

It feels like I'm living in Nirvana

come at me
ask a million questions
I'll answer swiftly

I love myself
a little too much
for my own good

It almost feels like Eden

I'm no longer spinning
walking in a circle

this is serious
I'm fine

-----------------------------------------------------------­---------------------

I feel like I'm wandering into abandoned space

I've reached the edge of the universe

I see another dimension

I'm lost

I feel infinite
147 · Apr 2018
Red flowers
eileen Apr 2018
I don't want to tell you everything about me
Once you know everything you won't want me

I don't want you to know me
Then you'll leave

If I keep sharing pieces of my life
You'll disappearing into the day

If I tell you I love you
will you feel the same

I'm afraid
I'm not sure
liight of my life
remember you're my sun
without you
I'm lost in the dark
147 · Nov 2017
drafting VI
eileen Nov 2017
I see shadows pass the doors
blocking out the light
and I'm so sure
it's your ghost

getting me outside
throw me down the stairs
watch me scream

couldn't close my eyes
it's darkening out as the moon comes rising
147 · Feb 2018
j/k/l
eileen Feb 2018
they say
they're never ending
we know
there's always a new beginning
147 · May 2021
slow star
eileen May 2021
held a star in my hand

you didn't see
you won't believe anything
I say or do

just admit you don't believe in me

neither do I

why do we make our life so complicated
guess I'll believe life complicates us in several ways

I never take the blame
haven't said sorry
since yesterday

I won't say it today

you don't care about me
you just want me to give you all I have

nights will pass
I will hold a million stars

you can forever
reject me

something inside you
will know you're wrong
146 · May 2018
he said
eileen May 2018
he likes the little things
I don't think he sees the sun
nor the flowers bloom
it's all about driving around


you want money
I'll give you everything

I'm desperate for you

you let no one in

feel like I'm talking to you through a window

he likes the lights
wondering will when you'll let me in
I'm a burning candle

sometimes I wonder
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