sometimes you can catch
me in front of my computer
daydreaming

things i'll never do
but i do in my brain

usually my feet dance
to the music in my ears

my hands are always shaking
can barely type sometimes

i don't feel bad
for just picking off skin
with my teeth
just now

it's so hot

the summer is still filled
with life

I want to do something with you
She said
I should be spending time with you
Instead of them

Oh I'm getting caught up
With all these thoughts she cried

I have already drowned
With a horrid mind

And no one saved me

So to save someone else
Is quite complicated

I do love the grass
the pretty flowers that grow on the side
I love the ocean
Seeing the sun so big at sun down

I miss the mountains more
I miss the tree by my room
I miss the sun going down the mountains at sunset
I miss seeing Orion

I do love this

It's just not home anymore

it breaks my heart

don't say it

I'll wait till I close my eyes
so I can be happy again

your warmth
wakes me up cold
in my dark room

it breaks my hearts

I remember the reality
you're not so special

it's all in my head

to have you
I'd have to give up
everything

I won't break my heart to have yours

It's hard to accept
Someone doesn't love you
Process declined

Hard to realize that
My lungs
Keep me breathing

Oh and i still got my wrists veins

I have to digest
Sad thoughts
Into my brain

I know i exist
Now

Hand around my neck
Oh it's such a bliss
Kiss around my lips
So imperfect
Feels so perfect
I forget all
About my hurting
I'm wondering
Where you left the money
I'm wondering
How lucky we are
To smoke early in
The morning
I'm wondering
When you'll leave
Walk out
Hands in
Your hair
It all started
As a dare
Smoke smells
In his shirt
Painted hair
Whispering
It'll last
I'll be just
Fine

I need this sadness
this anger
to remember
all the pain I've gone through

don't you go and hide
I'm still bleeding out
from everything I've lost

covered in dust
from the ashes
of my lost lover

felt like I'd never recover
but I still miss her

as the months went by
I forgot about you gradually

I still try
and hope to see you one last time

go back in time
love you one last time

one last time

to do everything right

it's so hard
to live without

you're burning out

stay

- - -

I was the one who left

I wish I had been told to stay

oh oh
hope you see now

got soap in my eyes
why is everything so bright

you were maimed
could it have been me
oh please

so much money
are you just going to throw
it up in the air

I miss it
miss hearing through both ears
sick
sick of it

woke up by an explosion
scared by my own heartbeat
realized I was only dreaming

out to attack
not to protect
got to take a break
all this hammering
will fade away

I keep your laugh in a box
So I can hear it whenever I want

Keep a smile in a bag
put it on


Need a hand
to hold
ran out of those

When will we get to forever
She said I'll love you there

stuck between 3 walls
I still can't get out
looking at her

I hear voices outside
inside
somewhere close by

flowers don't die
don't fade away and vanish

I'm avoiding everyone
like everyone ignores me

I'm so tired
of running away like kids

I hate making myself so small

I want to tell you the truth
I didn't mean anything to you

why'd you disappear
like I wouldn't notice

didn't take long for me to realize
I have feelings

my heart broke
a tiny piece I can't replace

I'm so tired of being kind
so tired of being the good guy

vulnerable
so easy to hurt me

why are you calling
did you finally remember me

I'm starting to accept
no one really cares
no one really loves
no one really wants
no one really needs
me

I don't like your name

We can change it

I can keep secrets
I'll stay quiet

I laugh in my sleep
I cry in my dreams

I'm always dying
when she comes around

I bloom for her
so she can pick me from the ground

I don't like your frown
I can change it

I'm always quiet
I got a lot of things to hide

I never have time to see the moon rise
I only see the moon disappear
in pastel hues
of the morning sky

I can't hear the sounds
did you say my name
the darkest day
I don't know where I am

the ceiling the falling
what you like
I don't

I can't say the words
I want to tell you

now you feel unloved

you've left

I thought maybe I could find a way
into your heart
again

I can't tell you no
I can't ever say the truth

I speak lies
I smile and act like everything is fine

did you think you were special

oh how pathetic

I'm here
to remind you
you're not

it's cruel
the ugly truth

I'm being your friend
sometimes I have to put you back in your place

don't cry
it's okay

well
not for you
but for me yes

my perfect puppet
come to me

If you fall
I'll hate you

If you run
I'll hate you more

the look of misery
looks pretty on you

they got the devil
in their eyes

a little to dark
there's no surprise

the less everyone knows
I love being unknown

someone no one ever gets to know

a faceless
body

you can't reach me
no one can find me

I made a pact
it's coming true

he loves me
I know he does
I love him very much too

you know I miss you
you know I think about you
because I erased every bit of you

I threw all the pieces
I didn't want to remember
the memories are hard to get rid of
a dark stain inside my mind

can't wash you out
it's not enough
to runaway

don't tell anyone
but I still think about you months later

you should know
I erased you from everything

I can still find you inside my heart
through the thin cracks

peeking through
go down

can't say sorry now
there's no going back now

touch me
like the way I am
broken

speak
only the things
I want to see

peel off your skin
I want to see under
the layers

I'm dancing in this heat
will you come
and pull me closer

tell me no
I hear your footsteps
closer
pull me down

where no one can see us
how will I forget the image of your skin
mold it against mine

we sweat
we laugh
we shiver

hold me
I'll promise you the world
I speak
everything you want to see

You have to know something
About me

I can never sleep
On Sundays

I always seem
To awake

So I am
Up late

Monday's are the worst
When you haven't had
No sleep

For some reason
You can't explain

Sundays aren't my day

my skin is rotting
don't feel like talking
All I do is scratch my skin till I bleed
listening to the songs you said were bad
I told all my friends that I don't like you anymore
but I lied
still meeting you tomorrow night
hope you don't see my
psychotic flaws
or my medication pills
I got my prescription filled
I tell myself act normal
before meeting up with you
it seems to be working
hope you don't notice
the marks
maybe I should get a tattoo
to cover it all up
I'm slowly drying into the ground
It hurts to breathe in deep
you'll still like me right
a little bit crazy
not too much

When the rain falls down
I miss you

What to say
Smile fading away

In a instant
Flash of lightning

A flood of feelings
I can't touch

Drowning in doubt

When the rain falls down
What to see

Thunder in my head

Knew this was coming
The storm far away

Appeared before my eyes

I lay in bed breathless
touched
you're a burning star

I love you
you don't take it seriously

why can't we say I love you anymore

do you not trust me
that's on me

I know
I come and go

I'm begging please trust me when I say
I won't hurt you

hurts me more when you don't

why can't I say I love you
felt so wrong the first time I did
felt like it went to waste

you came along
we haven't met in so long
still the same too nice you can't runaway

do you not consider me
even as a friend

beautiful stranger
fall into my arms
I beg you please
believe me

Loving you is very quiet
silent hurting
bleeding heart
broken

I love you till the sun goes down

You never say what I want you to say

I feel like plastic

We were meant to be
all living beings have an end

Words come out
In ways I didn't plan out

Maybe if I stay quiet
You'll want to keep me around

Maybe if I keep it down
I won't seen so small

I always feel like I'm letting you down

I feel like i could draw you everyday


And it's sad to walk around
With your face as the
Reflection in my eyes




What do you have on me

What did i do

How did i fall

Even when i knew

You wouldn't



Pretty golden boy

Whomever your with
They better love you more than me
And make you happy


If not what a shame

I can only wish
you see
that you still remember me

time has passed away
both of us
are not the same

I died once
are you still living okay

my wishes don't come true
dreams I hope I lived
disappearing into the sunrise

I can only wish

you will remember me

I want to fall apart
to build myself up again

I'm sorry I don't know how to love you properly

I can see the hesitation in your eyes
I'm hiding behind mine

all the words I want to say come to mind
when I talk they spin on my tongue
I'm dumbfounded
it's no fun

I wish I could love you properly
to show you how much you mean to me

forgive me
I'll try my best
hold my hands
feel my heartbeat
I love you believe me

both
are merging like two galaxies

both
wear black like if
that's the only color
alive

both
post pictures of each other
smiling

i bet you didn't like my pink
heart

or that i loved playing in the
dark

that i wore bright colors
everyday

he acts dead

how could he ever love me

the sun
that shines so bright
he was bound to get blinded

I don't dare trespass
into your space

but I really want to be with you

I'll give you a few more days

I really like you

If I write you a book
would you believe me then..

Let me just walk home
I'll walk for hours
I don't want to enter that house anymore

What a pretty city
pretty houses
but I don't see any pretty faces around it

I wanted to be your friend
I never thought it would end like this

I started to like the color pink
Just like you

Then began the fighting
the hiding
all the secrets and the lying

The lighting was away
hearing thunderstorms in my sleep
I heard that you were dying

I wrote some bad things
then came a time
where the sky was filled with lightning

I miss it
now

I really wish I was there right now

Why must things happen for a reason

I want to go back
to relive a few days

Take away the sadness
and heartache

I miss it now
I'll never be there
not right now

The city filled with rain
how my tears never came

And I am broken again
Because you
Ignored me today
What did I do wrong
I never stopped
Knocking on
You hard built walls
Did I knock down one?
And when everyone is gone
You stare at me
Like you have nobody
It's not helping
Seeing you
Behind
When I could have helped
The whole time

killed myself
softly
killing myself
softly

I'll never free myself from this world

no matter how many times I **** me

I come back
breathing in the soil
burns
my skin
grey
I feel grey

I'm sorry
I'm sorry

I'm killing myself
I killed myself
I'll **** myself

softly
so softly
I won't explore
you won't listen
I can't recognize
you will breathe

today we read and
watch horror things

will the ghosts
eat my soul
I'll probably sell it off

scary away the children
we don't get along
I never was a child

the devil is
behind a costume
among us
he wants a chocolate bar too

be careful
in the darkness
don't lose sight
in the fog

I'll be in the cemetery
with all my dead friends
laying down in my grave
eating all the candy
I took from
kids

I have no home
I don't know where to go

anybody
anybody
is anyone awake

does anyone see real life

why is everyone trying to act like someone else

we lay our masks
beside us
as we sleep

the young
are dying

the fakes
have a crowd

I got a casket
my coffin
ready for the end

I've been walking around
trying to figure it out

I can't reach out to myself

I'm trying to hide away
the bad parts

the parts you'll never know

I'm building walls
and I can't reach you anymore
closing everyone off

I'm falling down
hiding away the bad parts

slipping away
picking out the bad parts

I'll leave the good parts
you'll love me

Holding myself close

I'm starting to grow old

Pretty darling
lips and face

asking for someone
who carries cigarettes

that's never enough

behind my back
I can smell the rush
of smoke

I made promises
that became silent tears

darling
your room
smells full of drugs

what's on your mind
are you clean
overlooked
you have a cloudy brain

I've made promises
I never give you anything

bitter love
I recognize the sorrow raining in your eyes
into your mouth
out your nose

Can't give you my best
Because then I think
You'll leave

Can't tell you my
Weakness
Because then I
Think You'll take
Advantage

I have to hide my
Pain
So you won't laugh

I think I'll
Pretend my whole life

Feel so loved
Out of my mind
Your eyes of gold

I felt love once

Now I'm feeling it from someone else

Felt love for you

Making promises
that lay broken
In shattered glass

Felt so loved by you

Now it's from someone else

My love for you
was beautiful

Like waking up to the sun at the bottom of a window

It lasted for days
Died when the night fell

I hope you find someone who loves you more than me

I've written almost 25k words
One day
I won't write anymore

The days I don't want to speak
everyone wants to talk to me

The days I want to rant
No one is listening

If they want to love me
They'll accept me

I'm sick of having a phone
I dream of breaking the screen in half

I sent you messages
You'll never reply to

I only say hi
leave me hanging

Stranded alone

when you call me

I go to places
no one hears us

I can't feel mad

When I promise myself
I won't think of you

I'm lost

I think the devil is after me
can feel it in my bones
everytime I'm alone
someone crawls into my head
filled with demons he sends
he tells them to stay still
slowly I'll destroy myself