You don't care about me
That's okay
Because the day I stop
You'll wish you did

I wrote it in tiny letters so you wouldn't see it
the piano and violin playing
from the other room
I thought you were sleeping

the night made from darkness
collapsed on us
frightened

my heart somewhere next to you
will I see you tomorrow
probably no
I hope so

everywhere I look
I try to find you

no messages
saying hello

my heart was tired
cigarette ashes on my shirt

I play angry
the song so melancholy

everyone telling me
who hurt you

my heart dying

supine
you told me lies

The cold wind hit my face
Like ice in rain

The sun could no longer
Keep me warm

I fought to run
Though no one really saw

If I were to Fall
I wouldn't dare hold on

sent you a message
you didn't respond

I've noticed lately
we don't talk the same
you're different
am I to blame
I wonder
what I've done wrong
I can overthink for hours
still I'll make sure it's your fault

lately
we're so distant
so different
I can't remember when
you were so close
I felt everything for you

it's sad
it's blue

do you even care
we fell apart slowly
catch all the pieces falling

you give me nothing
I can't trust you

feeling so incomplete
tell me
I'm wrong

can we save this
I cut our strings

bring me back
it hurts to look

I'm not sure if I should hate you
since I still miss you

caught in the thought
I should be focused on present time
not in last month

are you going say HI
because you never said goodbye

losing time
what are you doing tomorrow
I think I'm losing my composure

thinking about our memories
I was going to delete
not so sure anymore

should I forgive you
since I miss you

I'm a bit dangerous when I smile
you always look away when I say the truth

thinking I'm not talking about you

I'm feeling upside down

whispering
the young are loved

I'm a little lonely
I'm feeling lovely

playing mind games
you smoke and drink
I follow your footsteps

having a little fun

whispering
the young are loved

now you love me so much
send me hugs and kisses

I can't hear the rainfall
my eyes are getting smaller

I'm feeling so young

you make me 21

following your steps
we only fall deeper

this darkness never ends
holding hands

send me hugs and kisses
there's magic in your kind of fun
a spell I'm under

when I fall back into reality
I'm reminded it's a curse

started from the top
what are we doing at the bottom

still down
I don't think we'll find a way back

on repeat
duplicating the same problems
replicating our regrets
there's no redo

I don't know
mistakes like to follow us
stuffed inside a cloud
waiting fall again

collapse
I'm afraid
of

I'm so fearful of
this

right to wrong

feels the same

painting over the layers

I'm still under and below

Sad girl
no control
why my dreams don't come true

I see you from the storm
you're in the clear

I no longer love you like I use to

You've never listened to a word I've said


what makes me happy
makes me smile and laugh

You breathe with anger and envy

You'll never be happy like me

I'm sorry if I mess up
I can't keep my mouth shut

and I've considered cutting off my tongue

I say all the wrong things
more than I've said good things

I want to turn away
and runaway

from all the hurtful words I've spilled
to you
and myself

I won't be able to stay

I want to go away

please stop calling me

I only make things worse
I'm always at a distance

in silence, I give my best advice

I want to turn away
go away

I never stay

holding all the things I want to say

I've only ever felt euphoria
in silence
alone

And I've been waiting for the right one
to speak with a voice
filled with serenity

now that spring is gone
where is winter

I don't  like this summer
please don't take away the flowers

I'll pick up a pen
write on these empty pages

I'll behave
I'll love my mother

I want the rain
these sunny days
are burning away my brain

memories
are disappearing

I don't remember my friends

the walls are closing in
I don't want to lose myself

in this sun

this sun
blinding away
my hope

I'm such a fake

what a waste

pretending to be your best friend

why am I so hateful

I hate seeing you happy

I love eating your sadness away

makes my day

why are you never happy for me

you must hate me too

are we spinning this web of lies together

I can't even try to care for you

I tried to

I'm a liar

I told you so

the mask I wear is perfectly created

I can't take it off

maybe next time you want to leave

I hope you do

cheering for your downfall

I'm your bad luck charm

my back is hurting
I don't know why
I turn around
why are you holding knives

my heart is hurting
why
when I tell you what's wrong
you turn around

I'm cold I know
You're cold
and I try

why don't say it to my face

why are you walking away

I'm not going to fight
even then
you turn over

you're no good
I've heard it over and over

my back is hurt
from all the times
you've stabbed me
you chose to betray me
in the most pathetic way

slowly
I'm bleeding
but I'll let you know

I'm not so cold
You're so cold
and I'm not going to try

here's your knife back

She saw him cry
His princess was *****
And a liar
He made a big mistake

She ran to catch up
To her understanding
And then was happy

She saw him and grabbed his hand
Saying he would be fine

She stayed
And he notice more things

god is always cruel
selfish
jealous
self centered
god is a man

miss I can't understand
I can't hear between the lines

it's fair
I'm giving you nothing

I'm the villain
stabbing you in the back

I walk in and out
I crawl ups and downs

no
you're not in love
you don't know me

please return your feelings
I can't accept them

I'm not hard to find
you will meet someone else

like me
there's plenty

I'm sorry for what I said
I never called
you say this
and I that
so what will it be
can we still talk

I'm your world
you are my sun
I don't look out for you
I don't want to see you
I like the way you shine
I love the way your warm me up
I never want to see you
I keep you away

I'm sorry
I never answer your calls
I've become distant
trust issues
and insecurities
have torn me up
I can't look into
anyone's eyes
speak the truth

I'm your world
you're the moon
you're the wind
I can't see you

no
I'm wrong
I'm the moon
I'm the clouds
I'm the sun
I'm the wind
that passes by
I vanish
I'm so transparent
I've disappeared

can you even see me
for who I am

or have I become someone else

when I leave

will you search the universe for me

I'm your world
now you are mine

if i look away
i'll lose you again

you said together
we'll be forever

but that only lasted at night
the mornings were lonely

you career never fit in mine
we had our ways far apart

miles away
calls on hold

your life went on
and mine did too

but if i ever see you again
maybe we can talk

and maybe in another world
we be together forever
like you said

The day has come
We finally know
The day you'll be out
To come home


December 30th
Come fast
Run into my arms

Because finally my brother will be home

And I know
There's little things
To ruin my day

But I think
I'll have a smile on my face

Almost out
Almost home with us

It doesn't matter when I push myself into the darkness

It hurts the most when you're the one to push me

you hurt me in many ways
reflect all your anger on me
I was convinced it wasn't my fault

the damage is done
you planted the idea
my head soaks it up

you push me into the dark
hurts a billion times more
than
pushing myself

I have to look at the sky sometimes
while evaa sings to me

I realize that these days are bigger than they seem

The sun is looking for someone
so lonely

I'm small
compare me to someone else
I never reach the far

Gazing at the sky
deep in my eyes

I'm small
these days
are smaller than I thought

It's almost the end of the month

I want to give you my happiness
My heart and the little love it contains
I want you to have my smile

Keep my joy
Save my youth

I'll give it all to you

I want you to have my eyes
my visions

My words
my stories

I need to give you a hug
please feel warm

If this is love

I'll give it to you all
- - -

I cried my eyes out for you too

One thousand eyes searching in the sky

Is there a drop of rain

On the other side
there's a hurricane

we hate the sun
we hate a storm

Beneath the creek
lay my lost bones


I'm floating around

I need to sleep for a while
wake me up in three years

silent star

smile for the liars

gun to my head
I was told to swallow down my emotions

crying for all the robots who will never love me back

I am the dying sun
I am nothing and everyone loves me

I write sequels
skipping the introductions

I've lived
a million lifetimes

with a melting curiosity
what is life

I lost myself
when
I loved you

jumped into a black hole
to love you more

everything hurts

I hope no one finds out

how many times
count

shut down
offline
where do I

my mind my mind lost

Picking away
the skin
on my fingers

I can't sleep
so I talk with strangers

My family is a big disaster
I want to change my name
and forget about my father

My fingers start to bleed
I got a cut on my toe
it's hard to breathe

sometimes
when everyone
expects the best of me

There's no better me

Hard to imagine
me ever changing
drastically

I got lost
in the music

instead of their voices

everyone is laughing at me

out loud
inside their heads

everywhere I go
I see the look in their eyes

I'm pathetic
I know

Alone
behind doors

I stay away

I never hurt others
I only hurt myself

everyone is watching me
everyone is talking about me

I'm a disappointment
I'm not what they expected

I'm not who they want me to be

She says
she feels a burst of emotions
within colors and shapes

Am I blind
did I not hear her words right

I feel like I'm from another planet

She reads art

I told her I felt a fire inside me
within the words and their meanings

Is she blind
did she not hear me right

I feel like she's from another planet

The way art transcends into our souls differently
is fascinating

I once liked a boy
he killed me
bore me to death

give me your sadness
give me your flaws
I'll swallow them down
I'll hate myself
drinking down my tears
I can't take this

your flaws
my sadness
goodbye
I'm not fine
it's okay
I'm so fine
I lie
our love is a lie

so easy to hate you
never a time to love you

In the beginning
You made me so happy
but now all I'm feeling is sadness

I'm sad
I ever met you

Now all I feel is blue

When we first met
The sky was red

In the end
You became
what makes me sad

what's on your mind
I can't tell you what's on mine

disconnected
are we still best friends

I can be isolating
you're away in unknown places

trying to find new love
even if you cross my mind

tempted
and delusional

hoping we find our way back together
I can't find someone better

you're the worst of all
no one hurts me like you

you're so unloving
leave me wanting more

more and more till
I crumble apart

keep to myself
don't ever give up

crack my heart open
I have to leave you
you'll love me after I go

quiet down
hideaway
no one likes to talk about death

I leave
It's raining
house is burning

You speak to me
say nothing

treat me like dirt
like I'm used

I leave
becoming the old me

Asking me what does this mean
house is burning
it's raining

Quiet mouse
crawling to her hole
she will say nothing yet

hiding away
I leave

Walls crumbling down

I'm the monster
runaway
I'm holding the knife

House burning down

I speak one word
You don't answer me  

I let out all my thoughts out

It's raining out
pouring down
****** rain
tears dried on my face

Walking in the forest of life
For that I'll always see darkness
And light

you say my name
when I'm not around

oversharing, overbearing
don't act like you're so special
you're like everyone else

she's so nice
it's suspicious

I don't want to hear it
you're not my friend

keep my name
out of your mouth

Dreaming alone
with no one to hold
I feel refreshed moving clouds floating west
There's nothing to worry about right now
Tomorrow my millions of worries
slowly creep inside my body
for when I wake up
I'll brush my teeth
I've not noticed
the sun is missing

you hear the same sounds
you sound like that one band I heard when locked out

we won't sleep tonight
we'll stay awake talk about everything
we won't wake up in the morning

I fell in love without a warning
when you left me I wondered
where do broken hearts go

I don't want to talk about it
feeling so alone

I won't sleep tonight
I'll see the sun come up again