i miss the sound of your voice

i saw you in my dreams last night
i can't tell you
what i did

i'll stay
till you tell me to go

i don't think you will
you don't know how to let go

i love the version of you
i created in my head

don't talk
you'll ruin everything

i want you to be
who i want you to be

why can't you be
the perfect boy i imagined

obsessions
i'm summoning you in my dreams
before i go to sleep

i hope you don't care about me anymore

i follow you
around like a fool

i like the feeling
of losing you

your ghost haunts me

you follow me in my sleep

i keep leaving the door open

i just want to touch you

but you're so far away

i want to find you in my dreams again

you're my only hope in this nightmare

keep on haunting me

i'll leave the door open

it's 2 o clock in the morning

waiting to see you soon

you're the pink butterfly on my wall

i should let you go

no

i miss the pain

if I'm not in your sweet dreams
I hope you find me in your nightmares instead

I look at your name
but no motivation

i know you're sad
but what can I do

now
we created a distance

feels so unsafe

when you're broken down
you hide from me

I'm torn apart
you can't share your pain with me

I'll be sad with you

anything to be close by
don't leave

how long will you stay alone
miserable

I can't save you

I can't watch you destroy yourself

everything feels pointless

I know if I told you
we feel the same
everything will be okay

but there's a little voice in my head
telling me you don't

maybe you don't feel the way I do

you're going to break my heart
what am I going to do
but sit here

now it's 2 am
hoping you were awake

looking over what you said
all the smiles I made

promise me
we will never run out of things to say

hope this doesn't have to end
it doesn't have to

I don't want to let in the fear

I dont want to be stupid either

but if I dare and imagine myself with you
will I be disappointed

ugh it's all because of you
I'm starting to listen to love songs all day

I want to mold myself to the person I know you'll love

I know you love video games
what do you want from me

It's hurting my brain
I don't want to change
but I want you to like me

I have a million things to say
stupid brain
the minute you're here
I turn away

I play out scenarios in my head
I should stop myself
before I go too far ahead

if I think of you every second that passes
will you dream of me
while you sleep

you make me giggle
I hate it

the way I smile
because of you

I want to tell you everything
suddenly I'm so shy

I want to know everything
why do you have to be shy too

let's just sit
in this comfortable silence

while my heart beats
so fast I hope
you can't tell I'm nervous

you're a kind of soft
I've never felt before

making me
discover new parts to myself

teach me how to play chess
I'd love to learn

you show me
sweetness and comfort

beautiful love

I'm itching to destroy

I'm destructive
I love to build you up
and knock you down

hope you recover well
please don't take it personal

I wonder where you keep your heart
I can't find it

looking everywhere
I got lost

seeing you makes me crazy
I'm having trouble

you say you're fragile
I can put everything back to it's place

beautiful stranger
there you are

I know
we're better off apart

I won't fall

It's a little sad
to meet someone you can't have

some people are impossible to reach

he doesn't tell me anything
not even his name

I try to stand still
so I don't scare him away

he's pretty
so pretty I'll color myself pink
if thats what he likes

it's that useless
kind of love
you try and give
but they're so far away

for nothing in return
at the end of the day

I was hoping we would call
maybe you'd tell me a secret I can hold to myself

it's so sad
heartbreaking
to love someone
who won't let you in

held a star in my hand

you didn't see
you won't believe anything
I say or do

just admit you don't believe in me

neither do I

why do we make our life so complicated
guess I'll believe life complicates us in several ways

I never take the blame
haven't said sorry
since yesterday

I won't say it today

you don't care about me
you just want me to give you all I have

nights will pass
I will hold a million stars

you can forever
reject me

something inside you
will know you're wrong

I don't think you've met the real me

how am I  perceived

forgot your gift

will you save empty boxes for me

people treat me like I want them too

it's very nice knowing you'd hate the real me

things I never say

I think I'm good right here

six feet away

I'm liar

I'd be lying if I said I don't miss you

so much

I hate the way
we're so separated

breaks my tiny heart

you're still so beautiful

your smile is worth gold

don't do what you're told

I'm wondering

if you miss me too

I think you do

maybe that hurts me a little more than it should

no matter what you do

I'll forever be a fool

I'm weak inside

the guilt finds a way

hate to feel so human

I hate the feeling of forgiveness

when they don't deserve it

or knowing you owe them so much

you will never be able to pay back

there goes the feeling of love

maybe it's not real

you don't even care

have no idea
of what we've become

a beautiful vision
I can see through your eyes

does it feel wrong or right

I'm lost

a beautiful
sound
the way you breathe in your sleep

do you dream of me
inside your head

slowly
and scary

how something so pretty and innocent
becomes dangerous and ugly

are we friends
or am I just your favorite distraction

I can't tell
anymore

you have have a meltdown
you want to end it all

next day
you want to act like nothing happened

I hate it
I hate it

but I'm going to fall back
and pretend you're okay

now it's messing with my head

the things I do
to hear the rain fall

I hate to dream
and fall asleep

in the middle of
the city

where no one can
see or hear me

the people are mean
and then so nice
you don't know what to think anymore

but everytime I talk to you
I lose my head

I don't know how to find myself after
all I can think of is you

you want to be someone else
anyone but yourself

but
everyone is fake

don't go looking for love
in red roses

beauty is ugly
you don't want to understand
what it all means

I'm so afraid
of what your mind is thinking

I don't have pictures of you on my phone

I wonder why we don't talk anymore

it doesn't make sense

you're like a shooting star
so fast you disappear from my sight

I had you inside my hands

a year meant nothing

all the days and nights

burn to ashes I'll never see again

so easily we give up

I'll won't see you again

it's just all so sad to me

I can't forgive myself

but I will miss you every afternoon

when time stops and I think of you

there was a woman
who carried an umbrella
in sunlight or rain

faceless
in my imagination

she is still
stuck inside a wall

I'm still wrong
about her

the woman
I could never see

inside
my imaginary world

I wonder
if she created herself

that one night
if we were left alone
could we have become something
right or wrong
I liked you even when I had my eyes closed

I'm never gonna find a boy
that wears a dress

I'll keep looking
in all the grocery stores
libraries
furniture or clothing store
at a car shop

maybe he'll be walking
on the sidewalk
on my way to work
on my way home

I'll do anything for that boy

I got a million bandaids
for my hands and feet

it doesn't hurt
but here comes running hot water

it's sad now
no one cares if I eat dinner

we
like the image of pity

to help those in need
so we can feel better about ourselves

we like
the innocent
and the
dumb

to take advantage
and manipulate

I learned that
very small ears
big eyes

we all
learn the hard way

learned
to carry bandaids

you're so cold
like Neptune

yes
no

I don't trust you
wish you were a little more honest

so
hopeless

you turn everything against you
when everyone is on your side

I can't lie
I wish I didn't have to keep you high

you paint me blue
my new favorite color

everything I do is for you
it's all for you everything I do

in rotation
so slow

you're so beautiful
so cool

all I want to be
hiding in darkness

finally it's spring
the trees are coming back to life
so am I

I found a little green leaf today
I feel life all around me

more flowers
and dandelions along the sidewalks

there's no wishes for me
to wish for

I stay hopeful
for anything anywhere

can't reach high enough
even when I felt so down

I live in such a blue world
the living and dead
so cold

my best friend
don't you miss me yet

I saw a picture of you
you look different
I don't know her

have they erased the girl I know
are you brainwashed

I hope you are stronger
I don't want to believe they killed you

makes me so sad
we don't talk anymore

I'm avoiding everyone
like everyone ignores me

I'm so tired
of running away like kids

I hate making myself so small

I want to tell you the truth
I didn't mean anything to you

why'd you disappear
like I wouldn't notice

didn't take long for me to realize
I have feelings

my heart broke
a tiny piece I can't replace

I'm so tired of being kind
so tired of being the good guy

vulnerable
so easy to hurt me

why are you calling
did you finally remember me

I'm starting to accept
no one really cares
no one really loves
no one really wants
no one really needs
me

your love is so cheap
feels like plastic

you know
you're so heartless

so why do you care
if I care less

do you get mad
when you're lonely

do you get mad
when you have no one

you act like you didn't have it coming

all my friends push me away
I know they're not okay

I sit and wait
till they return

I feel so alone
do we not have trust?

it's so exhausting  
you're so depressing

I know
I've been there

they will learn soon
if they keep pushing
people will leave

I really want to

I made a rainbow inside my room

it was too late to tell you
hurts to know we lost each other

I don't keep photographs
regret not taking one of you

wish I could find someone
no one has what we had

over my head to think
we could get away with secrets and lies

they were the best of you
and made me a villain in disguise

to the people
I hate the most
they don't know
the roles are reversed

I made it rain inside my room
I haven't cried for you
but I missed you
on a late afternoon

you made me tell you more than I should
where did you keep all my darkest and shallow feelings

maybe I meant nothing to you
desperately need to know if you're missing me too

I can forgive you
for all the talk overs
and the miscommunication

will you forgive me
for leaving you behind

I made a memory of you

it's vivid and
full of color

I can feel it so much
it hurts

it hurts when you're all alone
you start to hear every little noise

something so quiet
or it's so loud

waiting for tomorrow to end
I feel like there's no beginning

I can't open my eyes
everywhere I look
you're everywhere

why did you have to leave your mark
you were my first love and first heartbreak


I want to burn everything
that you gave me

I store it away instead
I don't want to forget

you melt away
inside my head
every night
I try to move on

like a scent
I can't get rid of

you follow me
inside out

you remember everything

I'm so close
I want to
burn two candles
to tear us apart

I know you'd buy me the whole world if you could
but you can't afford it

I'm stuck with you
miles away or face to face
you'll always haunt me
you act nice to get what you want

I can't forget you're all I had
really felt like I had no one

you were there
still you were no one

you didn't know how to care for me
how was I supposed to care about you

it's harder these days
we pretend
I didn't hear you say
all those things

you wanted to die
I wanted to **** myself

you loved a psychotic man
I'm scared of men coming close to me

what happened
did we make those things happen
did I watch it all happen

silent
you were always on the phone
I'd drink all alone

I wanted to cry
in the mornings when you were so depressed
you couldn't talk or move

I was so tired
of seeing you hate our home

I was hateful
we never had a home

I don't think I'll ever see you again
stop asking me

you messed me up in more ways than I can count

I'm not regretful
I'm not angry
anymore

I still love you
it's the worst part

it's the most painful

to love you
after all the **** we went through

you control me
manipulate me

I'll love you
like a fool

bleeding on the floor
it was your
it was my fault

I haven't seen you months
do you still hide the beer at the bottom of the fridge

how does it feel

is it lonely
is it quiet

so oblivious
people like you will never know

overworking myself
no one notices it at all

I hate the way my back hurts
so much when I lay down I can't rest anymore

my nails are soft
my lips are bleeding

all this money
wish I could buy myself some love

I hate waiting for tomorrow
all I want is what I had yesterday

it's late
I want to cry for a bit
then fall asleep

I want to make a wise choice
a small wish I know will come true

sometimes you're in my brain
can't say I don't remember
I still have the bitter taste
wonder if you remember my teary eyes
and weak fingers

I hate everyone who still talks about you
like you're some old friend

I wish I could **** you
it'd really give me a good rest

miss I can't understand
I can't hear between the lines

it's fair
I'm giving you nothing

I'm the villain
stabbing you in the back

I walk in and out
I crawl ups and downs

no
you're not in love
you don't know me

please return your feelings
I can't accept them

I'm not hard to find
you will meet someone else

like me
there's plenty

I'm consumed with the thoughts of regret
I might regret all of my decisions

I'm consumed with thoughts
that I'm not loving you enough

that's my waste of time
I'm selfish only thinking about myself
we don't talk or see each other

will I hate this tomorrow
did I love myself yesterday
I lost myself right now

do we ever know
can we find all the buried memories
they're like sandcastles by the beach

I'm gonna ****** me
I want to learn how to leave

am I going to hate myself later
will I seek to do better
nothing is certain

everyone misunderstands  
it's all my fault I can't make decisions

can you repeat the question
my heart is looking the other way

I wish I could look inside my heart
to know if I love you at all

any amount I can trace
to erase

you say you're going to sleep
but your lights are still on

the lights are still on

police cars are outside
we're a little scared they're here for us

I bet
he feels so smug
up in heaven

it doesn't feel right
I bet he likes that

we're avoiding eachother
I don't tell you anything

just give me nothing
like always

I have to do everything
I used to love you so so much

I don't know you anymore
where's the nice guy I met years ago

none of my friends care about what I want to say
about what I have to say

now I'm overthinking
I don't want to be annoying

pushed away
or do I keep pulling

I'm kinda sick
but that doesn't matter

we don't ask eachother

are we doing okay
we're just standing around

waiting to see who makes the first sound


it kinda hurts

this is the best we can be

this is so so close


ask me what time I went to sleep


I saw you awake
hearing your favorite song

are you still hearing your favorite band of joy
sorry you're parents are homophobic

I don't know when we'll ever talk again
wish I could see you this weekend

hate that you're going through this
I hope you listen to this song

I still love you
I hope you know that

I know you'll be okay
it'll be all be okay one day not so far

sorry your family has a million misunderstandings

about me
about you
about her

I wish you the best
no more hurt
no more sadness

I hope you're growing

spring will come

you will
come back to life

how will I forget this
losing my best friend
now everyone thinks I'm the villain
I really don't care
it only hurts to know someone more
stabbing me
in the back
filled with lies and blind confusion

I'm a sociopath
I don't understand emotions

well I never had them in the first place

I think of nothing
no one
but myself

very unfortunate

my friend almost died
well it doesn't matter
she's still alive

what am I supposed to feel
is there something I should feel

well I had it bad
but it doesn't matter

maybe I'm so numb
I'd like to treat some people like gum

if everyone is fake
so am I

I'm a lot of things
I'm a liar

carefully
stabbing someone in the back

all to my advantage
I keep everyone's dark secrets close by

feels good to know
I can destroy them in a flash

it's in the middle
of chaos I feel most safe

I love destruction
I love the way people crumble and fall

is this how we drift away

again
here we go again

will we lose each other
again
and again

how many times do I have reach out

we're slipping away

they're pulling away

we're making other friends
everyone is moving on

I can't find the words to make them stay anymore

can we make this work

how could I know

your heart was beating so fast
and your body so cold

you tried to overdose

why didn't I know
I can't imagine
I can't imagine
I can't imagine

losing you

please don't let me imagine
don't let me ever think about losing you ever again

it makes me so mad
so sad
to know you hurt yourself

I can't help you
I can't hug you

I can only see you drown from a distance

I just want to cry in the rain
I'd like to scream out loud to drown the pain

it hurts me a little
to accept the feelings
of missing you

last summer
I wanted to die everyday

I'm so happy
I don't feel that way anymore

my sadness is everlasting
I love the way it settles into my heart

happiness is beautiful
I've seen myself smile once

love to me
is unknown

looking for teardrop
I can't find it

I know a secret
I can tell

every moment is forever
there is no time to escape
we are born now
and we die here

if it's raining
I can't see
if it's raining
I can't feel

is it even real

the clouds of yesterday
don't look the same today


it's colder
it's grey

another sad weekend
without you

I can't feel
I can't see
I can't hear

I don't miss you
I don't miss you
I don't miss you

do I need you

do I even need you

I know you're not okay

I hate to see you going through all of this

but

I'm sorry

I don't miss you
I don't miss you

I don't ask about you
I don't think about you

truth is
I'm doing so much better
right now


I don't mind us slipping
further away

I hope you break free
I want to see you happy

I still love you

I just

don't miss you

I want to stop breathing

my mind feels like a thunder storm

I'm not scared

they can say

everything

I want to slice open my neck

when I get home

I want to leave my body

I hate this feeling

like I'm tired for anything

I can't do the things I need to do

I don't want to repeat this

I want to end it

it feels like everyone can understand

none can break free

my guilty conscious is running a million miles right now
I'm such a fool
um

look it's not my fault
even if it kind of is
I won't take the blame
I'll point fingers to someone else

um
it's your fault

all the scenerios
I'm making up
going through

I feel so bad
now what do I do
look I'm sorry

guess you can hate me now
it's not my fault
I promise

what can I do

I'm so sorry

um

guys think I

feel so bad

oh this guilt

will

e
a
t

m e

u p

a
l
  i
    v
      e