Don't make me rot in my
Head

Make my thoughts
Happy again

You can be the cause
Of your own
Destruction
And
Happiness

You're like the fog
The further I go
The more I see

She wasn't famous
Or known
For good or happiness

She was known for her depression

That's an example of saddness

Just a girl
With a thousand problems

With no one to love
Everyone leaves her
& forgets her

No one to talk
The feeling of guilt
All the time

Its only a matter of time
She'll start going crazy soon

I want to go back to the past
Where I would walk around numb

Where I would be in silence
Hearing a song

When I didn't care for no one
But me
When I didn't have no feelings

The old days the old days
I would chase them if I could
But they runaway

When I could get cold
Without getting something
Warm

When I was full of hate
And no one knew

Changing names
Tomorrow again

New year thing
I guess

Wonder who I'll be next...

A body
With no emotions

No smiles no laughs

Happiness & saddness
Faded into
The far away dark

No feelings
No guilt

Just an empty body
With so much space

Heart so frozen
It broke into
Pieces

Soul so dark
Does she even have one ?

Some days I'm
Soulless

White
Is too pure
For my kind

I am too broken
But I am caring

Red was everything to me
Because it was everything
I would see

And lastly

Blue because
I wanted  to drown
In an ocean
Of depression

What you want is
Someone

What you need is
Love

To bad these days
It's so hard to trust

The countdown
The numbers
The screams

No fireworks for me..

Just alone with no one
But myself
Oh how I wish it would change

Of how I could be with family
This day

Yet I'm alone again

Lost in a forest
That's called my mind ..

Thoughts falling upon me
Like leafs

With no one who can enter
But me

Scared & lost
In somewhere I can't seem
To find the light

Pathetic and bad
Knowing that you haven't caught up

Yes it's a good day
But I let tears out
And I didn't mean for you
To see me that way

Sometimes no one sees
The real me
The one who
Writes poetry

The one who stopped
Cutting
Just so I can be "happy"

The one who doesn't know
How to act in school
Quiet or mean
Sad or fake happy

I , the one who
Stays and sees the fights
But stays quiet
And isn't on a side

But who do they think I am ?
The myriam who just
Makes them laugh
And does favors
Like lightning fast

Or the mariym
Who suffers
Just by over thinking
At night ..

New years
New times
New memories in time
All you see is the same
But all you have to do is change
Different people
Different things
It's not the same day
Not  always yesterday
We will see it's 2016
And those who live
Are lucky
And those who die
May rest in peace
We shall move in a good direction
And go up only

Happy holidays
Happy dreams
Live your days  happy

Hm
If you keep
That addiction
You'll end up
Losing

So keep on
Cutting
Get the
Glass
Get the blade

Just make sure
Are you ok
With what
You're doing
Is it worth
Your skin
Bleeding

When really you
Can be happy ....

In a strange room
Don't know me or you

Unknown walls
Furniture & all

Uncomfortable
Staring
And not talking

Because he took me
Somewhere
With someone
I do not know

In places where I do not
Know myself

I guess it starts slow
Slowly you know?

You're trying so hard
And yet no one notices
Your work

Maybe one day you'll
Become big
And everyone will
Love
&
Notice you
Then

All you wanted was a hug
And someone to come

But you needed to get up
Yourself

To realize
You don't need no one

Maybe it wasn't
His laugh that I fell for

Maybe it was just His
Humor

Sometimes his looks
Didn't work

But his friendship
Was admirable

& I'll love everything
Of him
Inside out

She saw him
Walk away

If only
She could find
The words
To speak

& if only
He could
Stare
A little longer

Just so he could see
Her smile

Maybe there
Was much
She didn't know

He saw her &
knew he was
In deep trouble

Because her smile
Was beautiful

And even if many girls
Surrounded him

She didn't pay attention
To him

Maybe she was selfish
Or blind

But his crush
Or love
For her
Wouldn't die

To even the
Blindest eyes
And
no sound to those
Who can't hear

Can actually see what's real

Sometimes death isn't
A bullet that goes through you

Sometimes it's just 2
Words that hurt you

Sometimes you can leave
And people will suddenly  be happy

But they will miss you
After a few days

So maybe it wasn't the knife
That cut me
That hurt very much

Maybe it was just you
Standing there
Not helping

11:46
And I'm remembering all the dancing we did
Just hearing
The song of us

Remember all the fun
Back when we were young

11:46
And you are here with me
Things don't seem the same
Like the old days

I guess reality got to both
But I wish
We would still have fun

It's to cold for you to be
Inside
So come inside

It's to
Dark to be walking
So hold my hand

It's a lonely world
For us to be apart

A friend a friend
I repeat in my head

It's just a question
My number isn't much

So I wrote it
For you

Because that's what friends do..
Except my mind
Says other things
..

The day has come
We finally know
The day you'll be out
To come home


December 30th
Come fast
Run into my arms

Because finally my brother will be home

And I know
There's little things
To ruin my day

But I think
I'll have a smile on my face

Almost out
Almost home with us

What's your mom like I asked
She passed away he said

Your dad ?
He's in prison

Your life sounds complicated
Not really he said

Maybe it was that he was strong
Or just young & naive

He still acts silly

And I am broken again
Because you
Ignored me today
What did I do wrong
I never stopped
Knocking on
You hard built walls
Did I knock down one?
And when everyone is gone
You stare at me
Like you have nobody
It's not helping
Seeing you
Behind
When I could have helped
The whole time

You have to know something
About me

I can never sleep
On Sundays

I always seem
To awake

So I am
Up late

Monday's are the worst
When you haven't had
No sleep

For some reason
You can't explain

Sundays aren't my day

Can't give you my best
Because then I think
You'll leave

Can't tell you my
Weakness
Because then I
Think You'll take
Advantage

I have to hide my
Pain
So you won't laugh

I think I'll
Pretend my whole life

Don't come and say
I am the heartbreaker

Because my heart
Is breaking too

We're falling apart
Love will ruin us
Babe

Let's break apart
This won't work
Not ever
Not today

So this is the way it is
After all our mistakes

After you dragged me
With all your friends

What can I say happy birthday..
You didn't remember mine
But it's ok

And if we're to see you
Today I would give you
A hug

But I wouldn't
Go back

Because I want you to stay
In the past

Even  after hear
Your songs

I love forever & always mom
no  matter   *what

You talk & talk
But I don't understand
Nothing at all

Nonsense is all I hear
Because you're crazy
And I don't
Know what's wrong

So go check
Your brain

Or clear your mind
Maybe sleep
Can help you

Just don't stay in the clouds
Forever

Gravity will get to you

Do you think
That in another world
We're together ?

That you love
another me

Do you think we would
get along

Maybe we could
get married

Maybe in another life
You really love me

Like I do
Here
Now

Today and like yesterday

Smoke & cigarettes
My whole life

Because my friends
Would think
It's nice

I Think I ruined my whole
Life

Because I'm addicted
To smelling
The smoke
Every night

Just can't live the right life
Now that
I got my pack
Of cigarettes

But too bad
I don't have my lighter

It's too far
Far from being out
Its too much of my heart
For she can see
Yet she might feel pity
While I feel happy
Then you see my name
And it's not
Really me
So what I can say
Oh I'm just fake
Like everyone these days


Because my poems
Are my thoughts
And if she reads
Them its too much
We're close
But far
Because I
Can't trust her enough

Cause I feel like ****
When you point it out
And I tried my best

It's like you want perfection
And I'm very sorry
I'm the opposite

Then you get mad
We ignore each other
After our fight

But really who's fault is it
I'm shaking
While you want everything

The colors seem to change
And I write everyday

They say I am the poet
I am the writer
In the family

Should I take it as a compliment ?

Red to green
Green to blue

I wonder what's next after purple
My journals keep stacking up

And they get better each time

And as years go by
I will use them to
See my old life

He says I want this to be over
But every body does

No money
Tough life
Sad job
Tough Times

He says everything
Will be better once were together

But really
We all need a new start

And they're starting from
The bottom to top

Everything goes slow
But time is running out

He still hasn't moved out
So when is Daniel
Gonna come ?

Family problems
They seem endless
But still
We hold ourselves
I love
Them all

When we see something new
We think it's cool

We waste our money
Now look who's broke

They sell their products
To get rich

And they fool
Us again & again

And we keeping
Buying ****

That messes up
Our brains

lights cars passing by
i'm up so high
the wind gets
crazy at night

long walk to the middle
people see you at the side
but its worth my time

everything seems fine
at the side of a bridge

yet the bottom seems scary
but you don't want to fall yet

beautiful nights
beautiful lights

i want to walk on
the side all night

Do you know what's wrong with the bad

Do you know what's good in
Life

Are you mature enough
To not laugh?

Will you judge me in a
Blink of an
Eye

Do you have secrets to keep
Do you lie to my face

Talking to me everyday

Do you consider me
As a friend?

you said my name
and we talked a bit

i feel like im stupid
getting excited over this

when will you notice

you talk to a million over girls
and i hope you notice im different

cause im praying
you'll talk to me again

and maybe we'll be
assigned  a project together

but all i want is
you to love me

as i do