we don't know

how to be grateful
how to be loved

talking behind your back
silent
talking really bad stuff

could you give me a hand
I'll give it back
when I can

I'm so tired
of life

overthinking the night

they don't know what its like to reach the end of the tunnel
without a glimpse of light

it's best not to ask anyone for favors
nor tell them your problems

how dare you disrespect me
remember the first day you met me

all the days I watched you cry
the days I made you laugh

the times I was there in your loneliness
have you forgotten

now I'm just someone you turn away

no love to hold

how dare you reject me

I use to be your everything

have I become your nothing

We could love
if you knew how to love

I could comfort you
If I was taught how to

no one ever loved me

I kiss the mirror
to many days

I pose for the picture

I'm not afraid of the dark
Nor the cold

I've suffered
survived the desert
numbing winters

A broken heart
lost home

I'm not afraid of the dark

I find my home
in the shadows

I talk to the monsters

With a pretty angel face
everyone thinks you're okay

Crippling
rotten
insides

I'm on the run
looking for pure blood
tonight

I look calm
I'm laughing along
smiling like nothing is wrong

I fear this is our life
for the rest of our lives

I worry you'll always be off the tracks

the sun comes in to greet our day
you don't even feel alive

I'm spiritually connected to the earth
you won't ever understand
what beauty it holds

money burns
money appears
just as it disappears

I wonder if you hear music with passion
you pray with empty words and promises

life with you doesn't feel real
I don't like the feeling

I thought I saw the sky
I was fine

Maybe I will be alright
giving it time

Oh a simple hello
a sweet goodnight
can make a difference in a day

You won't mind if I come over
steal your time

cause I'm calling
will you hear my blues

I'm calling to the waves
pulling me back in
pushing me away


Take your time

we'll find the moon

I leave
It's raining
house is burning

You speak to me
say nothing

treat me like dirt
like I'm used

I leave
becoming the old me

Asking me what does this mean
house is burning
it's raining

Quiet mouse
crawling to her hole
she will say nothing yet

hiding away
I leave

Walls crumbling down

I'm the monster
runaway
I'm holding the knife

House burning down

I speak one word
You don't answer me  

I let out all my thoughts out

It's raining out
pouring down
****** rain
tears dried on my face

Fullfilled
ghosts in the room
suns blowing inside
I know you love me more when I say nothing

So I don't speak
not a word

I think
not one thought

I come and go
You don't even know
You'll see me either in the morning or afternoon

I love him
I hate him
too much

My tears dry quicker than the water going down the drain

You don't see the stains
the sobbing

I love us all to much

I don't want to touch
distance keeping us so close

Blood is dripping out your mouth
my cheeks are wet and face red

Lying to my face

I speak not one word
Nor think

I love this house to much

Will I ever get there
I want to meet her
the future me
I want to ask her
how to keep going
what's the secret

I don't want to believe she doesn't exist

Maybe this is all I get
no second chance

I want to sleep with music on

dark summer nights
all I did was feel the cold air on my skin
sleeping late

humid air
mattress outside
I saw him smoke in the middle of the night

pounding on the walls
I want to fall down

drowning in my skin

now it's different

drowning in your sadness
inside your head

lost in my loneliness

I was hoping I could be the one to save me
dreaming
save me
stepping inside mirrors
save me

I was hoping
I could
be the one

It's April
but it feels like I'm stuck somewhere else

my head has left my body
my soul is sleeping on the other side of the world shivering

where is my heart

I feel like warming up
don't know the days

unbalanced
I want control over everyday life

I crossed the lines
crushed by the wandering of my heart

do you want to go somewhere its dark
where there's no light
no noise

I want to be hugged by silence

hearing you laugh
isn't so comforting

I'm hurting
I want to cry
my heart wants to bleed

hold it in
swallow it up
cover it

I'm not smiling

I want to go h o m e
where there's no roof
there's no water
I feel hot
there are flowers growing on my bed
I shower with a clouds rain

but this is all I need
I want to go h o m e

where there's
no sunlight
no trees
only leaves

I want to leave

go home

I am sorry you cannot see how beautiful the trees glow in the sunlight

You bring in such beautiful words
yet do not follow them

the fire you've made
is alive
Thriving off your confusion

For thirty years
life has scattered parts of your mind
around this cursed land

I'm sorry you can't stand up
nor make a decision

If I were to help
It wouldn't make a difference

You've been drowning
forever

It won't be long
the light inside
will shine so bright

It feels to dark here
candles burning out

You've made it this far
the sun coming up
going down

If it weren't for you
the moon wouldn't hang around

It won't be long till the stars come out
and play

whispering stay
stay

If you leave
all we'll see is a black sky
You're the only star I want to see in the daylight


It won't be long
Please hold on

You'll come back again

I had been hoping
that I would get the time
to get closer to you

You felt like a stranger by my side
felt like crying all night
having to leave you behind

I've found someone else
to get closer with
I'm no longer crying about it

You've found someone else
I could tell
Its been this way
Never me always her

I feel so relieved
the thunder doesn't scare me

I had been hoping that we could spend some time together
now I realize
my dreams of you and I
will never come to real life

I was dead

I don't want to tell you everything about me
Once you know everything you won't want me

I don't want you to know me
Then you'll leave

If I keep sharing pieces of my life
You'll disappearing into the day

If I tell you I love you
will you feel the same

I'm afraid
I'm not sure
liight of my life
remember you're my sun
without you
I'm lost in the dark

I do love the grass
the pretty flowers that grow on the side
I love the ocean
Seeing the sun so big at sun down

I miss the mountains more
I miss the tree by my room
I miss the sun going down the mountains at sunset
I miss seeing Orion

I do love this

It's just not home anymore

Pick a hole in the sky
Want to see a glimpse of the blue
Hiding under this grey blanket of clouds
I'm being blown away
Nothing makes sense
Fiction or fantasy
Is all I can take
I can't think
My head is silent
That left turn
Changes you whole

Is everyone ignoring me
feels like that to me
I understand
once you meet me
you wish you never did
I know
I always leave before
someone does
born in a ghost town
I had no friends around
if I catch a glimpse of someone
tired of me
I cut off all of our connections
disconnect
never see them
until it's been too long
If everyone is ignoring me
I'll turn blue
I'm no longer seventeen
feels so bittersweet
I'll wait
in a reverie

you hear the same sounds
you sound like that one band I heard when locked out

we won't sleep tonight
we'll stay awake talk about everything
we won't wake up in the morning

I fell in love without a warning
when you left me I wondered
where do broken hearts go

I don't want to talk about it
feeling so alone

I won't sleep tonight
I'll see the sun come up again

I've been looking for pure devotion
wondering what got in the way
you really changed that's for sure
you use to be so dark
never seen a dead flower come back to life
till I heard your voice for the first time again

forgetting the way we use to talk all day
my best friend
now feels like a stranger to be with

I can't help but shiver
shiver
with fear

seeing you
was like touching ice

this is the last time I'll write about you for a long time

He wrote about ***
in such a delicate way
I couldn't understand it for a day
since it was so soft
His words felt like tiny kisses
he touched my heart
with his warm words

I almost fell in love
I don't recall what his point was

Now I can see the sun go down
Beneath the hidden ground
To the other side of the world
Where you're barely waking up

Now the mountains have disappeared
I'm in plain sight
Covering my eyes

Now I can breathe
My heart aches
Wish I could stay
Why leave

Now I can see two sides
Hear your cries

we'll find each other again
I'll find home

You'll never die
You're living in infinite moments
lost in space

Replaying over and over
This moment won't ever end
Nor be longer

I know you can't come today
why don't you tell me your looking away
why don't you show me
tell me where to go

I haven't seen the moon
cloudy  afternoon
it was going to rain maybe snow
I don't really know
I've been thinking about you
not so much as I use to

I found new friends
the space you had in my head has been replaced

Your no longer running in my dreams
hiding behind the bed sheets

Stop running away
It's better to face them
I'm finally over it

we're chasing the far away clouds
in a purple sky
it doesn't matter if we feel alive
going up and down
we'll be fine

putting you first
so much it hurts

you'll never be my good morning text
goodnight kiss

but I'll be your firefighter
saving you from danger

I'll burn myself
lose my breath

give it all to you instead

My house
Your house
Their house

I have no house
Sleeping under a sky
Clouds flying by

Have no walls
I see it all

Stormy nights
Endless days

My house is their house
I have no house

There's no floor
Trying to hold steady
Feeling so heavy

Breathing in the fog
I don't want to lose sight
What's mine
Is yours

No longer mine anymore

Feels like I never left
I know that at the end of the street lights
you get closer

Christmas lights on the roof
It's April
Rainy days

Cutting flowers
putting them in a vase

Since you're gone
With no one to buy me them

now that I've seen you
I can feel my heart growing
no longer drowning

Closer to you
no we've become strangers now

Doesn't it feel so cold
Uncomfortable
Silent
sleeping toe to toe
Didn't say goodnight anymore

Lost my words

We'll never be us again
It burns my heart

Feels like I never left
I know that at the end of the street lights
You get closer

Crying while
Eating strawberry ice cream
Overwhelmed with intense feelings
I'm really going to miss you
I really want to hug you

Will you look at tbe stars
While I'm gone
Or see the full moon
Go dark

Mornings alone
Breakfast so cold
Afternoon's silent without a single
Music note

Strawberry ice cream filled with tears
I'm so down
Wish it didn't have to be this way

I'll love you from afar
And look at the sun

So cold
Who are you going to hold

I have to go

I can't wait to see you again
Soon

So soon
I have to hold on

Let's play a game
I lie to you
You lie to my face
Try and forget
Never going to see your face
Miles away
Is your heart really alive
Feels like its died
So now I have to pretend
It's alright
Smile when you fake smile
Hug you and feel depressed
Don't want to live in a perfect square
With you not there
The sky has changed
The sun has been misplaced
Looks like a new world
Where you don't exist

Going through a mind field
Are you going to hurt me
What's it to you
All the pain you've caused
The poems I wrote
Are coming true
I'm on my way to see you
Going through trees
Blue skies
Signals lost
Shaking off the nervous feeling
Of seeing your face
Hear your voice again
Going through multiple panic attacks
By the time I arrive
I might be out of breath
Or dead

There's a place between the mountains
Where all my secrets lay
Tears of past lives I hide
You can't see the red light
Guide myself there
High in the sky
I cry
Clouds hug me tight

There between the mountains
You can see my whole life
Doesn't it look nice
Fog covering me
You can't see me
I keep hurting
The sky loves me

There in the highest mountain
Is a tree
Each leaf holds a memory
I'm smiling
Laying in green
I'm healing
It's raining
Coming down
Coming down

See I tear off pieces of skin from my fingers
I never let it grow
Nor heal itself
I shower for too long
My hair is messy
People never admit they don't like me
I always wonder
Am I too happy
Am I too sad
Why aren't I enough
I keep going back for more
Pulled into the vicious darkness

I keep biting off my skin
bleeding till I become numb
I stay in the shower for hours

I just want to know
Do they like me

Cause I'm so in love
Forbidden
Know you'll never get it
I'll just disappear into the night
I'm so in love
Betrayal
Don't care
Having to wait
Hurts a heart
Find me
Where stars blossom
In a nebula
In pink skies
In a blank page
bigger than these bones
I'm not in my head
Feeling so far away
It's like my soul went for a walk
Trying to call it back in
Knowing it's too far
So far

Let's make this easy
Eize
Rainy days
With a sky covered with gloomy clouds
Bus rides 7 AM morning rain
let's make this easy
Let the weeks pass
like a river's stream
Not ready to see you
It's okay
I'll be okay
Doesn't mean anything
Let's make this easy
rivers
pouring down
7 AM bus rides
Good days
Washed up in lost rain water

Blue moon
I'll see you in my dreams
In my eyes
winds bright
touching far away leaves
distant trees
we need sleep
we need growth
I've been awake since last summer
Blue moons
So blue so pale tonight
I see my friends twinkle
Gods hold my heart
My love
telling me don't worry
dance sing smile love
Blue moon
I love you too
I know you do
the way you follow me around
Gods hold me to sleep
dancing in my dreams

Blue moon
I'll see you in my dreams
In my eyes
winds bright
touching far away leaves
distant trees
we need sleep
we need growth
I've been awake since last summer
Blue moons
So blue so pale tonight
I see my friends twinkle
Gods hold my heart
My love
telling me don't worry
dance sing smile love
Blue moon
I love you too
I know you do
the way you follow me around
Gods hold me to sleep
dancing in my dreams

Wish you the best in life
Even though mine isn't so fine
I'm going through a bumpy ride

I'm sure you got it much better
It doesn't matter

This cruel life
makes me stronger

I want to draw you close
so you can bring me closer

I want you to be my strength
my shield
from all the evil

clouds in my room
moon's hiding under my bed
the sun is on the other side of the blankets

whitewater
eating your fire

I have the earth in my room
trying to find the universe

turn off all the lights

peaceful mornings
birds chirping
feels like there is nobody

In your embrace
your shirt smells weird
I know you were drinking beer

let's not talk about it
and keep cuddling

haven't spoken a word
you want to fight
it's like there's a void
every night

how did a lovely conversation
turn into an argument

nowadays
everything makes you mad
feels like I'm breathing in smoke
when I get too close

stuck in a twilight phase
don't see the moon coming up
nor the sun going down

feels like you're throwing knives
with each word you yell out
can't get anything right

sweating in the snow
I'm midway night and day
watching my every step

praying to all the gods
thunder almighty
lightning and rain fighting
to stop all this madness
snow caught falling to fast

hiding behind stars
doesn't seem too far
the sun is out
to burn the moon
don't think they get along so well

see you again
old friend
I still remember
your face

don't know what to say
need a signal to stay

we keep driving each other away
it hurts to love

the heavy feeling
in my heart

signs
that aren't mine

should I leave tonight
wonder if we ruined another day

feels like a burden
I can hear your hurting

smoke another cigarette
close enough

don't you know
this isn't love

It's bizarre
I fell too far
so close to the light
I wonder what's behind
to see the stars that don't shine so bright

mangos and apples
we screamed for hours
smiles from flowers
my legs are shaking
I can barely make it

I'll see you again
not today
I'll speak to you differently
I'll pretend

for now
I stay behind
let others be ahead
I want a deep breath

I told her we must buy flowers again
feels like I'm dying

everyone loves to see my face
not so much hear my voice

it's a phase
you messed up again
try again

blue petals
we dream of a day

feels like we might die
in this cold sun

I guess I don't have a conscious
I don't care what they say
I'll do things my way
even if it hurts someone's feelings

I sleep without thinking
did I hurt you
I just don't know

the sun reminds me of my ego
so prideful
all I ever see is me

I'm sorry
I can't hug you to sleep

I'm sorry
I'm sick
that I'll never
understand

I really haven't learned

I've seen so many beautiful things
that my tongue seems to freeze
I'm lost and have no way to speak

See beauty in everything
from a fallen leaf
and a simple word

I've haven't really heard
how I seem to people
or what I'm like

I seem to have my eyes open
as I sleep
I tend to hear everything

We must make ourselves believe
that the moon is more than a moon
That the sun is only the sun

Art is scary
I see it everyday
Now even in real life

There's days
where I look outside a window
and feel like I have no talent at all

I begin to say words in my head
that swifty intertwine together
like pieces to a puzzle

I apologize for all the years wasted
looking at the ground
angry at the world

I'm looking higher
than the clouds now
Further than the stars

I see the whole universe